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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Warning to all mums

512 replies

ILoveHolidaysAbroad · 03/11/2025 21:17

No matter how wonderful you make your children’s upbringings, they leave and never look back. I did it all for my kids, the best of everything, no expense spared, I worked very part time to be there with them, they had extravagant birthday parties and holidays to Disney land multiple times. Now they are adults and I hardly hear from them. No fall outs. But they just make their own new families and you become discarded.

OP posts:
SwanRivers · 03/11/2025 21:27

Why have you worded that like it's the same for everyone?

You do know all mums and adult DC are individuals, don't you?

HansHolbein · 03/11/2025 21:27

Speak for yourself.

NoKnickerElastic · 03/11/2025 21:27

Gosh that's depressing. Although I don't think true in all cases? Isn't it our job to give them wings to go off and live their own fulfilling lives? Sorry you're not part of your kids lives.

JudgeBread · 03/11/2025 21:27

I'm sorry you feel this way, but your children having lives and families isn't a bad thing.

This kind of self indulgent woe-is-me thing is really draining though. It's how my aunt talks to my cousin and my cousin barely sees her as a result - it's too exhausting.

Meanwhile I see my mam at least once a week, usually more, because she's never expected anything of me but being happy. Maybe you're putting the responsibility for your happiness on your children too much and they're finding it wearing?

ChillBarrog · 03/11/2025 21:26

Um...no they won't, thanks. My adult children are still very close to their parents and family, even when geographically apart. My husband and I very close to his family.

I'm sorry that's your experience, buts it not common in my experience at all

PractisingMyTelekenipsis · 03/11/2025 21:25

Its rare I go more than 2 days without speaking to my mum.

ComfortFoodCafe · 03/11/2025 21:25

No it doesn’t happen to everyone at all.
Would love to know your children’s side of the story.

Overthemhills · 03/11/2025 21:23

No it doesn’t happen to everyone- some children die. Some children depend on their parents forever because they cannot function alone.
Some are grateful.

EmmaOvary · 03/11/2025 21:23

You’re going to have to give more detail, OP. How have you been ‘discarded’?

MidnightPatrol · 03/11/2025 21:23

Woe is me.

Bagsintheboot · 03/11/2025 21:22

I'd LOVE to hear their side of the story.

For my part, it was my mum who left and never looked back.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 03/11/2025 21:22

An alternative message of hope to mums. Yes, of course your children don't always need you as much as when they were small but being 'discarded' is not inevitable.