How much value do you place on being able to pick your kids up from school?

I feel such a pull to do more drop offs and pick ups (half a term into reception), I've very grateful to have a none working day and can often finish early on a Friday so something can grab them straight from ASC and head to the park with other families. I just dont want them or me to miss out, but honestly its very rare for any parent to do 10 pick ups/drop offs a week.

I would like to have more flexibility for after school activities, I'm trying to cram swimming in without missing out on that 1 confirmed day we have for the park/play dates. I dont want more commitments at the weekends.

We use before and after school care 3 times a week each and I like how theyre meeting lots of children, its like a big family. They listen to them read which is great. I dont have one of these exhausted kids everyone promises so thats not an issue.

Whatever you end up with will be your families norm and others will be in that position too.

It was importantly to me and luckily we could arrange things so that DD wasn’t using after school clubs until year 5.

Most kids at her school had a parent collect them, especially in the younger years. DD is an only child and I think it helped solidify friendships.

It was really important to us. DH dropped off and I picked up. I worked reduced hours during the primary years and now back full time.

They never wanted to go to after school club, they just wanted to get home and chill out before any evening clubs they had on.

Absolutely none. I see it as a great victory that I can probably count on 2 hands how often I needed to pick them up at the school gates. (Did drop off for most of it though). Picking up from after school club was much calmer and easier!

I love doing the school pick up and am grateful to do it once or twice a week.

Not important at all. Used to share drop with DH when the DC were much younger, with childminder for pick or ASC mix, they changed schools and go by bus then childminder equiv pick

Yup, for me no interest in re-arranging / decreasing work including negative impact on overall family finances for school drop/pick

The breakfast and after school club was appalling. My children would come home with bruises, tales of bulling and bits of uniform ripped. I hit the out and they have never ever gone back!

I absolutely loathe the school gates. Anything to escape the hell of that. A gentle pick up from after school is so much better!

If I had the choice, I would pick up as often as I could. Reception children are often shattered at the end of the day. They see their frends going home - or going to the park - and they want to do the same. How often is too often to have a small child sobbing on your knee because they have to go to after-school club? I am a supply teacher and this happens at least twice a term.

I think a mix works well. My DC does after school club one day a week and has started a multi sports club one day too which he loves. The rest is a mix of pick ups from me, DH or grand parents. Ultimately I’d rather him be in afterschool club than just sit watching tv while we work (which does happen sometimes). I personally couldn’t work 9-3 every day as I think I’d just always feel like I was rushing to get everything done but that’s probably partly my specific job. Nice to have a choice though!

I did wrap around care 5 days a week for a couple years. I would never do it again. I went to pick up DD when I took a day off after her asking why I never pick her up but all her friends mums pick them up, the teacher didn't know who I was. It seems like a small insignificant thing but it really upset me.
When I went on maternity leave with DS and did all drop offs and pick-ups, it was so nice, those little chats walking home from school were great for both of us. I went back part time after the maternity leave, DD is in high school now but I have been able to pick up DS 3 days a week and that works well for all of us. Doing homework is also a lot easier on the days I do pick ups, it is a rush doing tea and baths and we're both knackered after work and after school club.

Really important. I work nights 11-7 so I can do school drop off. My eldest just started middle school and he's still finding his way around. He gets a little anxious at the thought of being late and not going in with his class so like to make sure he gets there in good time. My youngest has had a few friendship issues this yr and the other mums are always stood by the line up so I like to stand with her until class goes in.

Parent of a child in year one and we use breakfast club and ASC or sports club 3 days a week.

I love my days to drop off at his classroom door and pick up straight from school and look forward to this part of the day. It does make me feel more involved with his school and it’s nice for him to have shorter days towards the end of the week.

We do other sports / clubs on a Saturday so have no commitments and can do as we please on the day I collect him.

It was very important to me to be there at least some days.

It's good to be in the playground so you can see the teacher and start to recognise tclassmates and parents, even if you don't want tp become close friends with anyone. My kids were always full of chat about their school day when I collected them straight away. If I collected from after school club their chat was mainly about what they had for snack or who beat who at table football.
I also liked being able to walk home through the park after school in daylight in the winter. Without those days it would feel like we never saw daylight together in the darker months.

But mine all loved after school club too so I wouldn't worry at all if you need to use it.

My kids had and have after school club 3 days a week and my husband and I each pick them up once. We actually don’t need after school club as much nowadays (my daughter is in high school now) as we both work hybrid and my son can walk himself but he has loads of friends there so wants to stay. My kids are super busy though so it suits them - nowadays my son has clubs straight after after school club so isn’t home until 7 or so most nights and would happily be busier than that if we’d let him! My daughter has dance most nights, though sometimes a break in between. Super dependent on the child themselves and it all changes the older they get.

what would be nice is to have more options for things like haircuts and shoe shopping and admin like that but we just online shop as much as possible!

Also to add to my previous post, I was single mum, had to work to keep a roof over our heads. No option except to use after school care.

In my family, the dc seemed to love it and thrive. They had local friends who lived in our street, peer friends from their school class, and friends from after-school club. As a working mum after-school care felt safe, reliable, and tbh the only way we could manage.

It was different in secondary school and teenage years when there was no after-school option. Fortunately by then I could work more flexible hours, and sometimes at home. It felt much more important for me to be around and visible during those difficult years.

For me it’s really important and I’m lucky I can do it. I worked 3 late days when they were smaller and it was just too much all round.

I’m glad it didn’t make you feel bad. It could potentially have made someone else feel bad, which is why I added the caveat.

But I do think there’s some deliberate misunderstanding in your post. Picking my DS up at 315 doesn’t mean that he spends the evening on screens or that we get straight into pyjamas. It’s just a shorter day for him.

No, as I clearly stated for some it was not an important thing. Different needs and wants.
There were some in the middle who had to compromise. I’m not of limited understanding or empathy for my friend’s situations, nor do I need them explained to me by someone who knows none of us. I gave examples of two ends of the spectrum.

I’ve been a SAHM where I did them all and a working parent where we have a nanny and they are also in clubs. I now do none but do drop off some days.

I can’t say that the pick ups were great. The kids were exhausted and ratty. The traffic was shocking, and parking a nightmare (the school isn’t local, we had the drive) Then at home it wasn’t really quality time I had hoped for. Less crafts and cuddles, more tv time and hasty macaroni cheese dinners.

Either way your child will be loved and happy, don’t worry too much. And what is the routine now will so quickly change as your child changes and grows up.

I doubt it 'wasn't important' for your friends. They maybe didn't have as many choices to make it work? Could be financial, or logistical, or a workplace or a career with no possibility for that kind of flexibility.

Well, I planned on using after school club daily and this was fine for DD.

Unfortunately it hasn’t worked for DS as his SEN needs haven’t been able to be met there. It’s been a nightmare trying to juggle after school care for him and I would love it if he could attend a club.

So even what we want / hope / need doesn’t align with what is possible sometimes, unfortunately.

You can’t make me “feel bad” because my DD is definitely not winding down at 5pm, she’s still got the energy to go out and do other things afterwards. It’s at least another 3 hours before bedtime. We don’t start “winding down” until 7pm earliest.

DD tells me absolutely everything about her day, not just what she did but exactly what everyone else did too. I think that’s a girl thing (and she is the oldest in Y1 so behaves more like Y2).

My DC benefited hugely from after school club at primary. This allowed me to build my career/seniority and WFH when they were at secondary. Being at home when they got home from school as teenagers has been absolutely invaluable. I started to WFH in 2019 so my DD benefited for 3 years of primary too, (though she knew it was make own way home or be picked up from after school).

Another angle for you to consider.