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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you know anyone with a p*rn addiction? What are they like? Did they ever kick the habit? AIBU to leave?

34 replies

NameChangeforMarriageQun · 03/11/2025 19:22

I am heartbroken by the thought but it's just gotten too much.

I never had a problem with p*rn before but
a) it's A LOT
b) he's tired all day the next day after a binge so less quality family time
c) I'm sure I get less affection as a result of the fatigue
d) he suppresses his sexuality with me because he doesn't want to get triggered but then still goes on the internet to get his kicks

Means I now view it as cheating. Whereas he views it as an illness he's trying to recover from and doesn't own that it could also be cheating the most he says as acknowledgment is "I suppose it can be seen that way".

I feel conflicted. He's in a 12 step programme and having therapy but every time he "loses his sobriety" I feel like it's another paper cut.

His "max sobriety" has been a month and it's been 1.5-2 years since he was in these recovery programmes, 5 years since the addiction started.

OP posts:
NameChangeforMarriageQun · 03/11/2025 20:02

Jackiepumpkinhead · 03/11/2025 20:00

I don’t understand point D? He won’t have sex with you in case he gets turned on and then watches more porn? It sounds like you’re fighting a losing battle, OP. What a horrible situation to be in, I do feel for you.

Yes, his 12 step programme suggests a period of complete abstinence (fine), but he's not being abstinent because he's still using pornography (not fine in my view, a victim of his addiction in his view)

OP posts:
MerryPinkCritic · 03/11/2025 20:02

Idgaf a fuck what people say to this. People with porn addictions are rotten and better left alone. Let them get the help they need without you before they fuck you up further.

NameChangeforMarriageQun · 03/11/2025 20:00

MannequinsArePeopleToo · 03/11/2025 20:00

It's ok to use the word porn or even pornography.

Okay thanks I know that now :)

OP posts:
Jackiepumpkinhead · 03/11/2025 20:00

I don’t understand point D? He won’t have sex with you in case he gets turned on and then watches more porn? It sounds like you’re fighting a losing battle, OP. What a horrible situation to be in, I do feel for you.

NameChangeforMarriageQun · 03/11/2025 20:00

DiscoBob · 03/11/2025 19:58

Why do you censor out the full spelling of the word 'porn'. It's not a swearword. And even if it was you're allowed to swear on here?

Oh, I wasn't sure if it would post if I wrote it out properly.

OP posts:
MannequinsArePeopleToo · 03/11/2025 20:00

It's ok to use the word porn or even pornography.

DiscoBob · 03/11/2025 19:58

Why do you censor out the full spelling of the word 'porn'. It's not a swearword. And even if it was you're allowed to swear on here?

NameChangeforMarriageQun · 03/11/2025 19:56

MasterBeth · 03/11/2025 19:49

He's tired all day the next day after a binge

WTF? What's he doing? Wanking himself dry?

I guess so. He's up hours later than he would normally go to bed.

OP posts:
MasterBeth · 03/11/2025 19:49

He's tired all day the next day after a binge

WTF? What's he doing? Wanking himself dry?