Page 2 | To find my partners road rage disgusting?

Brmbrm · 2025-11-03T15:50:35+00:00

Just need a realty check as to whether I overreact on this subject really. My partner does alot of driving for work so i can understand his frustrations, I also drive and encounter many idiots on my travels, people cut you up, are on the phone, speeding etc I just do what I'm doing and my motto is that hopefully karma gets those who drive and put themselves and other people in danger. However my partner constantly is swearing and making gestures to people whenever we are driving, depending on what they've done it can range from calling them a twat/dickhead to more personal insults like fat bitch and even the c word. This isn't appropriate when a 6 year old is in the car is it? I've told him to stop or if he must to use age appropriate language, he just doesn't care. People cut me up too but I dont swear at them when my 6 year old is with me (or even when shes not) because its not like they hear it or it will change anything. AIBU?

LakeGeneva1 · 03/11/2025 17:52

Caleb64 · 03/11/2025 15:58

Completely unacceptable, I’ve lost my temper before but when it’s frequent like this it’s disgusting. I genuinely thought most men were like this though but I’ll admit I must have gotten that wrong due to all the replies. My Dad was like it, long term ex was like it, FIL is like it and current partner is like it. I must have been very unlucky!

I must be unlucky too. My ex and husband.are like this and you would never know theyd be capable of such behaviour if you met them.

Redpeach · 03/11/2025 17:40

Ilovepastafortea · 03/11/2025 16:21

Having said that IMO cyclists need to decide if they're traffic/road users or not. If they are, then they obey the rules of the road. It's frustrating to be stuck behind a cyclist using the road rather than the cycle track that's there for their safety, when they ignore red lights & you have to do an emergency stop because they've suddenly decided to turn across you, when they go on & off pavements to avoid the traffic.

Several years ago I was run over by a cyclist on a zebra crossing. I broke my wrist. Needless to say the cyclist didn't stop.

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That kind of driver will happily antagonise and bully law abiding cyclists

Haroldwilson · 03/11/2025 17:10

Ilovepastafortea · 03/11/2025 16:21

Having said that IMO cyclists need to decide if they're traffic/road users or not. If they are, then they obey the rules of the road. It's frustrating to be stuck behind a cyclist using the road rather than the cycle track that's there for their safety, when they ignore red lights & you have to do an emergency stop because they've suddenly decided to turn across you, when they go on & off pavements to avoid the traffic.

Several years ago I was run over by a cyclist on a zebra crossing. I broke my wrist. Needless to say the cyclist didn't stop.

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Not to derail the thread, but cyclists aren't forced to use cycle paths, you can choose. Ask yourself why you'd choose not to use the path - they're often poorly maintained and can be downright dangerous with litter, bumps, low hanging branches, random street furniture mid path etc.

Sorry that cyclist was a dick to you, I have plenty of motorist anecdotes if you want to compare! And I'm also a motorist.

SwordToFlamethrower · 03/11/2025 17:02

I want to add that my ex was exactly like this in the car and he used us all being trapped in the car to abuse and bully me too. I didn't feel I had any power in the situation at all. Is the car thing truly the only time he is abusive, or??

Redpeach · 03/11/2025 16:56

SwordToFlamethrower · 03/11/2025 16:53

Hogging the middle is against the law and dangerous

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Aggressive angry driving also dangerous

SwordToFlamethrower · 03/11/2025 16:55

OP, don't let him drive you! You do the driving and he sits in the back seat with his mouth shut.

notaweddingdress · 03/11/2025 16:54

You should get him to read the Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters. Basically, he's behaving like an animal.

chimpmanagement.com/books-by-professor-steve-peters/the-chimp-paradox/

I wouldn't get in the car with him until he sorts himself out.

SwordToFlamethrower · 03/11/2025 16:53

CaroleKing · 03/11/2025 16:35

You need to set him free so he can find his true soulmate, who currently has a thread on MN promoting the idea of flashing your lights behind people who are driving too slowly for their liking. Clearly a marriage made in heaven.

Hogging the middle is against the law and dangerous

Enrichetta · 03/11/2025 16:49

Gotback · 03/11/2025 16:36

Your child will be taking in all the anger, the negative energy, the fear. I'm 65 & I still remember my dad acting like this when driving. It was terrifying.

This writ large…… @Brmbrm - pay heed!!

Anyahyacinth · 03/11/2025 16:39

Surprised he drives for work as these drivers are often the most chill about the madness out there. It’s a power thing isn’t it raging at other drivers in your safe little bubble? Does he understand that he is affecting people in the car with him? That is being around aggression and harmful and unsafe..not to mention pointless behaviour? Certainly a good driver stays in control of their emotions. Solidarity OP 💐💐

illsendansostotheworld · 03/11/2025 16:37

I wouldn't get in a car with him nor would my child unless an emergency

bugalugs45 · 03/11/2025 16:36

My reception school age niece went into school and said to the teacher ‘ I’m sorry we are late, it’s because of the fucking idiots ‘ . Cue my sister never swearing in the car again after that !
I do think the standard of driving has got worse in last few years . I commute just 7 miles to work & coming home last week, got ‘ cut up ‘ or pulled out on without the other driver looking no less than 3 times 🙄

Gotback · 03/11/2025 16:36

Your child will be taking in all the anger, the negative energy, the fear. I'm 65 & I still remember my dad acting like this when driving. It was terrifying.

CaroleKing · 03/11/2025 16:35

You need to set him free so he can find his true soulmate, who currently has a thread on MN promoting the idea of flashing your lights behind people who are driving too slowly for their liking. Clearly a marriage made in heaven.

toomuchfaff · 03/11/2025 16:32

Brmbrm · 03/11/2025 16:01

No unfortunately he is DD's father

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Well with that statement wtf are you still with him for? You obviously dont like him.

Zempy · 03/11/2025 16:30

You allow your DD in a car with this maniac? Why?

Enrichetta · 03/11/2025 16:30

And the rest of the time he is all sweetness and light… ?

FurnHollows · 03/11/2025 16:29

I wouldn’t have my children in the same car as him if that’s how he behaves. His behaviour would have been a deal breaker for me a long time ago.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 03/11/2025 16:27

Start looking at your local bus timetable

Coconutter24 · 03/11/2025 16:27

Brmbrm · 03/11/2025 16:01

No unfortunately he is DD's father

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What a horrible thing to say!! I don’t agree with swearing at people on the roads etc however I find what you just said more disgusting!

Chiseltip · 03/11/2025 16:26

Brmbrm · 03/11/2025 16:01

No unfortunately he is DD's father

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😬

toomuchfaff · 03/11/2025 16:26

Brmbrm · 03/11/2025 16:01

No unfortunately he is DD's father

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You have 2 choices.

You accept thats how he behaves in his car when driving

You dont accept how he behaves when driving; and dont get in his car.

You can't/won't change his behaviour. Question is will you put up with it?

Does he act like this in front of his boss? His parents? People he respects? Because if he doesn't, and if he can control his anger in when people he respects are around - that tells you he doesnt respect you (or your child) big red flag.
If he would act like this in front of anyone then he has bigger anger management issues and thats a big red flag.

ginasevern · 03/11/2025 16:24

No, not at all acceptable. What on earth is this teaching your child? Is he generally such a knob end?

Ilovepastafortea · 03/11/2025 16:21

Haroldwilson · 03/11/2025 16:16

That's not good. As a cyclist, that kind of driver is the sort who almost kills you then yells at you about it.

Is he emotionally dysregulated in other areas of life?

Having said that IMO cyclists need to decide if they're traffic/road users or not. If they are, then they obey the rules of the road. It's frustrating to be stuck behind a cyclist using the road rather than the cycle track that's there for their safety, when they ignore red lights & you have to do an emergency stop because they've suddenly decided to turn across you, when they go on & off pavements to avoid the traffic.

Several years ago I was run over by a cyclist on a zebra crossing. I broke my wrist. Needless to say the cyclist didn't stop.

Gettingbysomehow · 03/11/2025 16:17

My first husband used to do this and then after some years progressed to attacking me when frustrated in front of our child so beware. He was also banned from seeing his DS until he was 16.
This behaviour is completely unacceptable and don't think your child isn't taking it in, they will be feeling huge fear but internalise it all. So my DS told me when he was an adult - that he didn't react but was actually terrified and it scarred him badly.