To think that most women crave companionship, even if they don’t always admit it?

I am a great animal lover but they aren’t people and can’t really be compared to as such. They can’t have a conversation with you or real connection on a human level.

Friendship can be great but as someone said succinctly above it can be hard if they have children and / or partners and you don’t: they are more important to you than you are to them.

I am married now but was single for a long time and I struggled with feeling like I wasn’t a priority for anybody. I can see that if you have friends in the same boat it wouldn’t be like that.

Yep. Society definitely does not push independence. Quite the opposite. Being single is seen as a failing.

This basically.

I think most people want companionship but not necessarily romantic partnership.

I don’t mind “companionship” but do not want somebody in my home full time nor do I want to compromise. I also don’t want to perform emotional and domestic labour for another person.

I don’t think women desire companionship to a greater extent than men.

Also even if you think people are lying to themselves…..

…….so?

I think I get what you're saying OP I'm just not sure why it matters.

I think you're right that some people, women especially, might push the whole 'I don't need no man' ideal quite a bit but I think you have to have some empathy as to the place this would be coming from for them, to reject any notion of a romantic relationship. It usually comes from a place of hurt and rejection and speaking out and saying, no I don't need that any more, is a form of taking their power back from those men that hurt them.

People reject relationships of any sort usually because they've been hurt in them, not beacuse they're lying to themselves or others (the bit that doesn't matter)

I'm currently single and quite happy, I'm older and wiser and know what I'd now want from a relationship and know what I won't give of myself to a man. I will hopefully meet someone one day, but for now I'm very happy alone and 'don't need no man'

I’d love to meet someone but the reality is, the ones I am meeting, means I’d have to settle and I’m not doing that. Would rather be alone.

I've got my cats and plenty of friends. That's enough for me.

I agree with some of what you have said OP. I have had LTR and also been married and divorced. I have great friends but they have families, and children. Their significance in my life is greater than mine in theirs. Many of my friends are now retiring, they are planning trips away together, it’s definitely companionship and cost and fear. A bad relationship is awful but having a reasonable person you like around is probably enough for many.

I have fabulous friends. I have a great companion in my dog. After two failed marriages, countless relationships, raising two adult DC alone, I find I have fulfilling connections and emotional intimacy without sharing my life with a man.

My life is perfect. I take responsibility, make my own decisions, do what I like without some bloke in my ear or my bed.

I very much agree with this.

I don't want to be married, I don't think I even want to live with someone. What I do very much want is to curl up on the sofa with someone and share a bottle of wine watching a film. I want to be with someone on New Year's Eve and on New Year's Day. It's the little things.

Me too.

Studies show that women fare much better outside of a relationship than men do. Men without a SO are more prone to loneliness and mental and physical health problems, and die sooner. Meanwhile a lot of single women thrive on their autonomy and independence. They make and keep strong friendship networks, and, particularly when their experience of being in a relationship has been poor, genuinely wouldn't want a man in their life again.
You need only observe social patterns. How many times do you see women happily on holidays, days and evenings out with other women, compared with men? Women don't actually need (or often get) their companionship from a male partner. Their emotional and social needs are often better met by other women.

Interesting point.

Let's see if OP comes back or if this is another 'dump & run.'

Here is today's 'AIBU......to' thread aimed at making women feel 'wrong' about their choices. Thread blaming societies norms or 'messages' pushed on women as though women can't make up their own minds really.

Here is today's theee word, one colour, one bird, user name poster made up for the posting of such threads.

Here will be today's OP hardly replying or OP posting lots of word salad.

So predictable. So samey. Someone, somewhere is spending a lot of time pushing divisive trad wife, mid American style conservatism onto MN.

Previous examples - "AIBU to think that young women don't want children but should" AIBU to think that people don't like it when I tell them I do all the domestic and treat my man like a king". Not quite that, but you get the fucking gist.

No, i disagree.

Ive never seen 'society' push for singledom and independence, its all geared up for couples and families. Where have you seen this?

As an introvert and expert on myself, I'm happy to say that no, I dont crave intimacy or companionship. Happy with friendships but that's it.

I’m not sure why the question is directed at women - I don’t think men are any different at all in this regard.

I think modern women finally have the opportunity to choose not to put up with a terrible husband and to choose to be single instead preference. That’s a good thing.

It's a basic human need to have meaningful connections with others, whether male or female. I don't think women crave romantic attachments more than men. We may talk about it more openly but I don't think we crave it more. Women's health/life outcomes are not as negatively affected by being single as men's are. I also think women are generally more emotionally competent than men, meaning we don't need romantic relationships in the same way they do.

I don’t think it is a gendered thing at all. Most people need connection. But people have different levels of need for different levels of connection. What one person craves, another finds smothering. What one person enjoys, another finds distant.

I don't think it necessarily has to be romantic either. However on a cultural level we seem to really suck at friendships and third spaces so I can see how finding a romantic partner works as a quick fix to a lack of companionship.

I think you've lumped together a lot of different things there. I think most would probably happily "admit" that company of family, friends or even a pet is desirable to varying degrees. That's totally different from suggesting that women do secretly want a romantic partner and are "protesting too much" to save face. I hate that kind of thing and think it stems from a feeling of inadequacy or insecurity in their OWN desire for a relationship and want to feel like they're not alone in that.

I think having a relationship with someone - not necessarily a romantic one - is needed by most people.

I want friendships and close family bonds but I've never craved a romantic relationship and I wouldn't have one.

Some people struggle to find meaningful companionship and some of those people will adopt that narrative as a coping strategy. The people that genuinely don't need connections are a minority.

@UnmaskedAmberFinch I haven't seen any of this messaging either. Not saying it doesn't exist, just haven't seen it.

I feel as if I have seen a lot of messaging saying that having a partner is important, and that friends aren't particularly important

I don't think about it much because whatever is being pushed doesn't usually match the real world.

'Companionship' and 'a relationship' are not the same thing.

If all someone wants is 'companionship' they don't need a partner or spouse for that.

I don't think anyone is pushing a narrative that people should be rejecting human connections entirely.