Do you know an alcoholic? What has happened to them?

Yes, DEAD.

Long hospital stay after very major cancer surgery and now being tube fed seemed to solve it. Bit of an extreme example though! (Also, sometimes wonder if they'll just decide to put it down the tube)

Three.
One died at 33 from liver failure. One still drinking daily but seemingly still walking the line to keep from dropping into a downward spiral. One completely amazing person, now 20 years sober.

They’re all different but the one thing in common is that they have all put their loved ones through hell by varying degrees. You need to take care of yourself first and find some support, it’s not easy to love an alcoholic.

Friend, dead at 54. BIL dead at 49, though that was due to a drug overdose rather than alcoholism. His father (FIL) miraculously lived to 80, though in poor health for the last 10 years of his life.
Luckily DH doesn't take after his father or brother.

I think you're doing the right thing by leaving and not subjecting your child to the horror of it.

One of my best friends was an alcoholic. he Was in AA when I met him in early 20s and clean. Had kicked it. Started again in late 20s, insisting he was in control, and drank more and more heavily. Was a high functioning alcoholic until his 40 when he had a complete physical collapse and fell into a coma. Looked like he wouldn't make it for a while, but came out of it albeit with loss of motion and unable to work. Despite this, despite a family and friends who all tried to help him, he continued to drink heavily. He died in his late 40s. Very, very sad and a terrible waste.

I’m so sorry.
My ex wouldn’t take accountability and change so we divorced
he fell apart - massive break down. Found pissed in doorways by police around our city.
No relationship at all with our child - he tried to blame me for everything

but I know too of turnaround stories
there’s some kind of pain he’s trying to numb

Knew two. One seriously injured themselves in a car accident, and then killed in a car accident.

The other, the brother of the first, attended an extensive residential clinic for alcoholics and remained sober for the last 30 odd years of their life.

Yes, two. One died of liver failure at 57. The other stopped drinking at age 47 or 48 (got admitted to hospital to dry out followed by a 3 month stay in an NHS funded addiction centre - sadly no longer a thing) and has been dry for 35 years now.

Both did untold damage to their children.

Amazing that you managed that, well done for going cold turkey.

Was it difficult? A litre of gin must have meant bad ill effects?

My friend's ex- managed to stay sober for 15 years then went back to drinking, dead within 6 months

I know quite a few people who might meet the test for an alcohol use disorder- drinking daily, 50+ units a week- but wouldn't consider themselves alcoholics and do it in a socially acceptable manner (bottle of claret with dinner, never noticeably drunk). Lives are going reasonably well albeit probably not as well as they would be going without the alcohol. We are all late 40s/early 50s which i think is the point at which this stuff starts to tell.

Good luck, op. Have you been in touch with Al-Anon?

I've known a few, none had good outcomes.

1st Work colleague, eventually got sacked after so many chances and was caught drink driving on the way home after being removed from the office (we tipped off the police). His long suffering wife left him and he died of complications from alcohol poisoning a few years later.

2nd Wife left him eventually after being attacked once too often. Company went bankrupt and he drank himself into an early grave. Kids were NC.

3rd Lost her kids through neglect who were then brought up by her elderly parents. Drank herself to death, teenage kids attended her funeral. Kids went off the rails as grandparents couldn't cope with traumatised teenagers as they were quite frail pensioners in their 70's. Dad was just as bad as Mum but no idea what happened to him.

My sister is an alcoholic. She's just hit 5 years sober. Her marriage broke down and she lost everything. Home, job & kids. AA worked for her, she still goes to probably 4 meetings a week. Life is getting back on track, has the kids weekends. I would also recommend you go to Al - Anon.

My mums husband is an alcoholic. He now has dementia and is in a care home. His dementia was diagnosed in his late 60s but probably started earlier. It is vascular as well as Alzheimers - the vascular is likely to be alcohol related, but maybe he would have got it anyway - who knows? His own daughters have nothing to do with him, I don't blame them. He's a horrible waste of oxygen costing a fortune to keep alive & will probably live for years yet.

He died. Through his own actions, which were not the responsibility of anyone else. I know it's hard but you have to protect yourself and your child.

I've known five in my 64 years. All died of alcohol related illnesses. Life's short OP, have the one you deserve.

Op I am very sorry to hear what you are going through.
I recommend going to al-anon as you will get help and support from others who have been through the same.

I know an alcoholic very well. They stopped after a series of difficult conversations- not the first we’d had so not sure why it stuck that time, but it has. They’ve been sober four years and I am overjoyed, I never thought I’d see it.

Far too many, but I work in the alcohol addiction industry.

All I can say is, there is no size fits all to how someone deals with their own addiction. It’s utterly heartbreaking watching it, and seeing the devastation to the family around them is horrendous. Take care of yourself x

My niece, she’s currently in prison for theft to fund her drinking. Her health is very poor, I don’t think she’s got much longer to live if nothing changes, which I don’t think it will.

My brother in law. His 14 year old daughter found him dead in the gutter outside his home, she has been horribly traumatised from trying to be responsible for him and the resulting guilt. Protect your child, OP, which means staying strong and getting him/her away from the situation by leaving. He has choices as an adult which your child does not.

One of my best friends is a recovering alcoholic. She’s been sober now for about 6 years and has never looked back. Ongoing health problems due to her very heavy drinking over many years when younger, but lives independently and is doing great.

Most alcoholics I know are dead. The ones that aren't have advanced dementia, major health issues, live in sheltered accommodation.

Several in my extended family but they are all successfully in recovery for more than 30 years. One has even become an addiction counsellor. But all their marriages broke up while they were drinking and some of their children have gone on to have addiction issues. Of those one is in recovery for the past 10 years or so, but another has never managed to become sober and has had a very tragic life unfortunately.

That’s an insane amount of booze for a prolonged period. Over 100 units a week surely?