Do you know an alcoholic? What has happened to them?

A friend of a friend, managed to get sober after ending up seriously ill in hospital. Was told she’d die if she drank again. Went on a binge and predictably died. She left a young son behind. Very sad.

Protect yourself and your son, OP.

BIL has been abstinent for 13 years now but at one point we were all worried he wouldn't see his 40's. His then fiance now wife left and told him she couldn't live with his drinking, he stopped with her support and is a different man.
Sadly I don't think his story is the most common outcome.

Exactly the same as my dad. He is an alcoholic, but a socially acceptable one for many years drinking at work social events, wine in the house and at rugby games. Horrible to us as a family and his wider family don't speak to him.

He's now in a care home with vascular dementia and Alzheimer's. He's a total mess and paid for by social care due to losing his house as a result of his behaviour. It's heartbreaking to see him like this but I have to remind myself he had choices in his life that caused this.

I am so sorry you're having to deal with this OP. But you are doing the right thing for you and your Child.
Both my parents were alcoholics growing up. It made life as a child absolutely miserable. I no longer have a relationship with either. Nothing has changed with them.
I hope the next chapter of your lives is filled with happiness by making this wise choice.

I knew one and she died in her 50s after a long, slow decline. The end was completely degrading for her, not that she was in any state to understand how low she had sunk by the end (once a very proud woman).

Sorry to hear that you have been affected by alcoholism too.

Yes, several including OH. His friend's wife died in her late 40s (liver), my friend died just after his 50th (varicel bleeding) OH doesn't see himself as an alcoholic because he os pretty fit/ has a job/ isn't in the gutter but he has given up so much of his life choosing alcohol over relationship, over experiences and over his health.

There are several other alcoholics/ problem drinkers in his friend group at the local so it has been normalised to drink every evening/ get drunk every weekend and he doesn't see any similarities between that and the people who've died from it.

I know of three people in my husband's extended family who are alcoholics. Sadly, one passed away in 2016 in his early 60's due to alcohol related illnesses. The other has heart failure and a stroke, all due to excessive alcohol and is currently sober (although we've been here before) and is in their late 70's. The other person is in their early 40's and has been in rehab 4 times in 19 years. Stays sober for a period of time and then relapses. He's been homeless at various points in the last 19 years too. He's had a lot of family/friend support but nothing seems to work. Unfortunately, as sad as it is, I don't think he'll live to old bones, as he knew has health issues due to alcohol.

Several family members (all on the same side).

My grandfather lived to a very ripe old age, drinking heavily throughout and having acquired many injuries whilst drunk. Of his children a few are alcoholics - two divorced, one because his wife wouldn’t put up with it and the other because actually his wife was even more gripped by alcohol addiction. Another of his children is a relatively functioning alcoholic, fancy clothes, wine for breakfast and whisky for lunch. Funny stories but she doesn’t realise she repeats them on a loop.
My parent is a very low drinker and other sibling is teetotal and clearly traumatised, hates to be with anyone drinking alcohol (can’t blame them).

Honestly the alcoholism of one man was so normalised and tolerated and affected so many lives, and continues to do so.
Some of my generation also are alcoholics or married them.

I think binge drinking is so engrained in our society that it must be even more difficult being a recovering alcoholic. Signs everywhere for gin o’clock and birthday cards all about getting shitfaced.

Support for all those struggling with alcohol addiction.

My mother in law drank herself to death. Died of a gastric haemorrhage but prior to that had gout, alcoholic dementia and bowel cancer all cause by drinking. She was skeletally thin at the end and used to watch Shaun the Sheep on loop.

At one point her gout was so bad and she was so weak she used to get a taxi 50m to the corner shop to buy vodka. They stopped serving her in the end.

I dated an alcoholic for a short time and fuck me I'd never become involved with one EVER again, I'd run for the fucking hills. I know it's a disease but the mood swings, selfishness, self destruction, blame deflection and total misery they inflict on everyone around them is, in my opinion, inexcusable and unforgivable. I believe this guy did eventually get sober but it damaged every friendship and relationship he had beyond repair and ruined his career. This was all ten years ago at least but I am still very wary of people who get angry or lose control when they're drunk.

I've a colleague atm who is a clever woman in her 40s, but she drinks far too much and if some of the team nip to the pub after work for one or two, she will get blind drunk to the point she can't walk, but then she strolls in the next day as if nothing has happened. Doesn't even mention falling over in the street the night before. I am worried about her tbh.

He's living on the streets. Sleeping on cardboard behind a parade of shops in a dismal town. He had a gift for language, a sharp wit and a fundamental kindness and generosity. He worked in TV and you'd have seen his name zoom past on the credits of popular shows. He won awards in his industry. He also inherited half a million pounds. Drank it all, exploded every relationship, lost all his possessions, left a trail of unpaid debts. He's now in the grip of alcohol-induced delusions and unlikely to live to 55 (he's 53).

Both did untold damage to their children.

Same experience here. I had two alcoholics in my family. They are both dead now and died far too young but in both cases they severely fucked up their children and there is lasting damage even now they are gone.

Please get your children out of this situation. You cannot save a sinking ship......he has to help himself and if you stay he'll drag you and the kids under with him. Trust me, I know.

Yes, me, due to undiagnosed asd, I wanted it to finish me off, but im still here, stopped in Feb this year, can't say I feel better about life, but I have lost 5 stone. I think in your case you're doing the right thing, an alcoholic around kids is a no no generally.

My DH is one - he was drinking more than a bottle of whisky a day at his worst. He suddenly saw the light and knew he had to stop, went cold turkey, which I stayed with him through and he's now been sober for 25 years.

I have known three alcoholics. Two died of liver disease in their 50s and one died of an alcoholic overdose in their 30s. Liver disease is a very nasty way to die.

Ex-husband was an alcoholic. I divorced him when he was 34. It was the best decision I ever made. He died 10 years later due to the effects of alcoholism. I wish you lots of luck Op.

Can I ask, was there a lightbulb moment for them or something specific that was said to make them stop? I know there’s no magic cure. My uncle is mid 70s and binges multiple times a week but is the definition of a functioning alcoholic. Has stopped in the past but when life gets difficult in any minor or major way he turns back to the bottle. It’s miserable to watch and we’ve left family events when it’s clear he’s drunk. it’s hard to be around.

My brother was an alcoholic and each year seemed to be rock bottom but it got worse until he lost absolutely everything; wife, job, home, health and he still insisted he was in control.
The last time I saw him he looked dreadful, was so ill and was still saying he didn’t know why he was poorly. I said I refused to indulge him like our parents did and walked out. They went along with his charade at pretending he wasn’t an alcoholic. He’d discharged himself from hospital countless times, he laughed when he found out that I had been driving around looking for him.
He died a few weeks after I last saw him, must have been a hideous death but I don’t think any of us could have helped him as he didn’t want it.

I love all of the stories on here from people who have achieved recovery or love someone who has managed it. I really do <3 it's so beautiful to read. Genuinely, from witnessing addiction I believe it must be one of the hardest things in the world. So it's lovely to know it's possible and it happens.

My dad. It killed him. Died age 52

There are online Al anon meetings if you can't get to an in person meeting. Babes in arms are often allowed in if you don't mind stepping out for a few minutes to settle them if they cry. You can check with your local meeting what they allow.

al-anonuk.org.uk/getting-help/find-a-meeting/

I know many alcoholics but thankfully they are all in recovery. I am also an alcoholic but now over 20 years without a drink. So there definitely is a solution you just have to want it enough once you have finally realised what you are suffering from. I live a pretty normal life now I just don’t drink alcohol

My father is an alcoholic who never admitted it to anyone but we all knew. He would drink a bottle of wine every night without fail followed up with several large whiskies. Aside from the fact that he was moody and unpredictable he now has brain damage (caused by excess alcohol) and lives in a care facility.

The long term outlook is pretty grim if they can’t completely stop, I’d cut your losses and run for the hills for all your sakes.

He got sober during our relationship.

Doctor gave him medication, Can't remember the name of it, something like Lebrium. Was prescribed it for a week and then he was on his own.

He must have drank in excess of 300 cans per week and it must be 7 years or more now since he sobered up.