Do you know an alcoholic? What has happened to them?

My husband. He did the Allen Carr stop drinking (in a day) course about 9 years ago & hasn’t touched alcohol since. He doesn’t miss drink & it’s genuinely been easy for him to stop. I 100% recommend this course.

An aunt who died at 50 from organ failure. Left three kids who are amazing but wouldn’t have anything to do with her. An ex. Don’t know what happened. Hope they’re ok. Probably not. My partner’s ex who died at 40 something from cirrhosis.

My mum was an alcoholic. Died alone, body not found for months because her addiction drove everyone away, it was impossible to have a relationship with her and we (my sisters and I) had to cut contact to protect ourselves but more importantly, our own children.

All she had to show for her life when we cleared her house was thousands (literally - two transit vans packed floor to ceiling) of empty wine bottles. There wasn't a drop of alcohol left to be found in the house.

Left him years ago. He continues to drink and his health is getting worse and worse. He’s been offered a lot of nhs help. Slowly rotting away both physically and mentally.

My brother in law. I don't know the exact details, but his liver was in bad shape, his pancreas was packing up, he had type 2 diabetes, and his doctor told him if he didn't cut out the booze he'd be dead in two years. His two boys were 7 and 11 then. He stopped drinking that very day and is in pretty good health now, 14 years later.

He told me that several years later he went back to see the specialist who gave him the wake up call. Apparently when my BIL was diagnosed the consultant had half a dozen other patients in the same condition. Only my BIL and one other is still alive.

My uncle was an alcoholic. He was incredibly intelligent but alcohol destroyed his life. He ended up dying from a neurodegenerative disease.

My uncle’s girlfriend was also an alcoholic. She did work on being sober but the damage to her body was extreme. She needed a full time carer. She lost custody of her daughter who had to grow up in foster care. Her daughter grew up and dated a guy from a good family who had a high status career. They were in love but after she introduced her boyfriend to her mother and her mother’s boyfriend he broke up with her immediately.

Towards the end her brain wasn’t functioning properly. She went to her doctor due to severe pain and she was repeatedly ignored. It turns out that she had end stage ovarian cancer and the extreme pain was cancer throughout her body. I guess her doctor ignored her because he thought she was drug seeking.

Alcohol doesn’t just destroy the alcoholic’s life - it destroys the lives of everyone near them.

Yes my mother. We lost contact after she had become violent towards me whilst I was pregnant. I've heard recently that she has alcohol related dementia at a young age.

Alcohol really needs to be clamped down upon. Advertising alcohol should be banned, full stop, as should selling it in attractive packaging. It should also only be sold in dedicated off-licenses instead of in supermarkets etc.

The alcoholic I know now has korsakoff syndrome and is living in a facility in their mid fifties because they have alcohol induced dementia. They will never live independently again. It’s such a waste of a life.

Good friend, dead at 60 from a (usually) pretty treatable/survivable cancer because his other (alcohol induced) health issues severely limited the treatment he could tolerate.

Two separate "by marriage" male relatives, both fell down a flight of stairs whilst drunk and died.

Close male relative, 40 and already has fairly serious health issues developing. Won't see 50 if he can't stop.

Cousin, dead at 30, drink driving. Killed her two kids as well.

I've just remembered my friend used to 'borrow' from the petty cash, and never took any time off in case it was discovered. She was the accountant for an important union.

I've also remembered that when my Mum died in 2000 I did offer her money from my inheritance as a gift and she refused - and I was secretly relieved as I thought she'd spend it on drink. What a very sad admission.

I know 3, two relapsed after many years sober which was really sad. They are now active addicts again. The other died of liver failure.

My dad. Ruined my childhood and, indeed, adulthood. It was awful.
He lives alone now. He’s lost everything but he still can’t (or won’t!) kick the habit. He doesn’t care about grandkids or anything.

I would leave in a heartbeat if my DH became an alcoholic, for the sake of our kids.

I love him but I have to protect our child.

You don't love him.
You love what you want him to be and what he used to be.

You need to leave before he drags you down.

I've known 4, all died young. Leave and get on with your life, keep him away from the children.

Usually liver failure or often pancreatic cancer,

My cousin is an alcoholic.

Her relationship broke down. She moved cities and was living with all her children. She had a job but she lost it because she kept forgetting things. She would take a flask with her when she left the house and would get the shakes really bad (alcohol withdrawal). We didn’t know what was going on at that stage but she was seen screaming at her children in an absolute rage. We found out later she was spending all of her money on alcohol.

She was diagnosed with alcohol induced dementia. She had to move in with her mother and got a place in detox. She developed diabetes because the alcohol destroyed her pancreas. The alcohol also damaged her liver and she has to get the ascites (fluid build up in abdomen) drained. She needs a transplant but alcoholics aren’t eligible for a transplant and noone is volunteering to give up part of their liver to her because she’s an alcoholic and a diabetic with alcohol induced dementia.

She can’t live alone so she moved in with another family member.

None of her children live with her. It’s so sad.

She had a genetic disposition to being an alcoholic. It runs in the family. She used alcohol to cope after a family trauma. She’s ruined her life and she has destroyed her body and her brain.

It could have just as easily happened to me but I developed an illness and a side effect of that illness is I’m allergic to alcohol. I can only drink if I take steroids and antihistamines. It’s not worth it - so I just don’t drink.

You need to leave your husband. Don’t waste your time trying to save him. If he wants to do it he needs to do it on his own.

Yes l knew two.
One was my oldest school friend and my first kiss age 13... we lost touch and got back in touch 20 years ago when l was looking for a gardener.. that's when l found out he had become an alcoholic... unfortunately he died of alcohol related problems age 55.
Another friend died before he 40 from same thing. Their choice of drink.. lager and whisky.

I also know two males (one family, one friend) who hold down jobs but are most definitely alcoholics. Family member lost his house through it.

My ex I got him into rehab then broke up with him after once he was sober and back to work and more on his feet. As I had turned more into his mother than his partner after all the shit he put me through. He spent years after that finding himself being sober kind of changed his whole personality. But he had to throw himself into it to stay sober. That was 10 years ago and as far as I’m aware he’s still sober. But I couldn’t face living with the worry about whether any sort of stress or life event could send him back to square one. Also whilst he was in rehab as part of his 10 steps he had to be honest with me about everything that had gone on during his alcoholism and ask for forgiveness and I couldn’t move past half of the stuff he told me.

Someone I know is an alcoholic. Lost her job, house, husband, kid. Was in the gutter for a few years but miraculously turned her life around and is doing really well.

They died. FIL.

My father was one. He started drinking when I was 12. It took him over 25 years to finally die of liver cirrhosis, and it was horrible.

My Dad was an alcoholic, I was relieved when my Mum finally left him although she waited until I was through GCSEs (back in the 90s) I would have probably left home at 16 if she didn't and think she realised she needed to do something. My relationship with my father improved a bit when I didn't have to live with him (and the verbal drunken abuse) and hate gave way to pity. He lived till his late 70s but he turned into a bit of a hermit, not wanting to leave the house or even have visitors toward the end.

He had a few mini strokes towards the end and spent his last couple of months in care. I visited him at least once a month even when I lived on the other side of the country, my brothers were closer and helped him with his day to day a bit more.

One of my best friends was an alcoholic but now is several years sober, it is possible but noone can make someone go sober. My Dad never even considered it. Don't feel guilty for leaving or responsible for him though, you have a baby and you are rightly prioritising them. Maybe it will be a wake up call for him to sort himself out. My one concern would be shared custody though, would he fight you for it? Maybe to stop you from leaving if you're worried about leaving him alone with DC?

She was an alcoholic from 16 to 30. She ended up going to rehab and getting herself sorted out. After she came out she went to the police and the person who abused her as a child got sent to prison 🙌

If you met her now and saw how nice her life is / how well she looks you would have no idea she was ever an alcoholic. After rehab she went to college and now shes working 2 jobs whilst raising her children. I'm so incredibly proud of her x