Do you know an alcoholic? What has happened to them?

op you can’t fix him or make it any worse for him that all down to him

such sad stories on here 😞

My brother he rarely drinks now and has replaced drinking with heavy weed jaw but apparently it’s not addictive or an issue 😞

My very close friend who is in denial or what she says it appears that way but I think she knows

i suspect a few other people I know are or dependent more on alcohol than they want to admit to. Lots drink way over recommended amount, socialising has to involve drink or they are waiting to have a drink, lots of having a month off, detoxing etc

Yes I know a few alcoholics
my dad for one
he died at 53 of total organ failure

The ones I know/knew either cut down very significantly, fully stopped, or passed away. Not sure their deaths could all be directly attributed to alcohol though.

I know of 2 who both died from alcoholism in their mid-fifties.

My aunt was an alcoholic, your stereotypical alcoholic. Went to rehab multiple times, never able to work. Woke up and straight on the spirits. She became jaundiced and died. She was in her 40s.

My dad is an alcoholic. Not stereotypical. He holds down a full time job and doesn’t drink until he gets in but he drinks between 5-8cans of beer per night: he goes through phases of acnkowledging he has a problem and wanting to stop, to then justifying that as he’s been able to stop for a few weeks that shows he’s not an alcoholic and so starts drinking again but promises this time he will cut down. He never does. He’s 62. I dread to think about how his health will be in 10 years

Yep my ex is a functioning alcoholic. Cost him our marriage. He now lives with someone who doesn't drink???? Best is his ex was an alcoholic and died early due to it.

Unless they admit they have a problem theres nothing you can do. Protect you & your kids

My brother, he died alone aged 56.

blamed everyone around him, his wife etc.

His wife put up with more than I would, eventually left to save the children. She was right.

I know 4, all close family members. 1 is 50+ years sober in there 70s, one is sober but has relapsed intermittently over the years, other is 6 years sober, and sadly one died in there 40s from drinking. All bare the scars, sober or not. It’s a horrible illness.

My DP. Hit rock bottom, sober for 3 years and in AA
goes to meetings 3 times a week every week and never misses one for anything

Mm, my Dad.

We don’t have much of a relationship these days, apart from the very occasional drunk mumbly 10 second phone call, he sounds completely brain dead - on a good day.

I’m 34, he’s met his only Grandchild maybe twice or so, he’s no big loss.

Protect your baby. I grew up thinking my Dad’s rubbish (back then and the sporadic input over the years) had no real impact on me, it’s only recently that I realise it has.

I wish you and your Bab all the light and love in the world, don’t anchor yourselves to a sinking ship.

x

Same
Mother dead 52
Husband dead 37
Left me and my children to live a better life

48 years ago in January DDad asked DM to go to AA, or he’d be leaving with us children (4,7,12,15). And that was the last time she had an alcoholic drink. AA meetings have featured very heavily in her life since; her social life is largely based around AA friends.

So what became of the alcoholic in my life. They dried out with support, and had a normal life.

My adult son. He's lost his children, restraining orders and child protection plans.
Multiple times in prison, including present time.
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
My heart is completely broken and I take medication to anaesthesise my feelings.
I have prayed, hoped, begged etc

Ex-SIL. Died after choking on her own vomit, not found for days. She also completely fucked her daughter up from a very early age.

OP - Death is what happened to person in my family who drank too much - had a stroke at 58 and died.

Some in my immediate an extended family

Most died bloated with ascites, with fingers and feet so swollen they looked like something out of a horror film

The three alcoholics I know best lived / are alive well into their late 70's. Bar a fair bit of falling down the stairs and almost kiling themselves that way they seem to be thriving. I do struggle with are they actually alcoholics but I have a warped view of that. Realistically drinking a litre plus of Vodka every week for decades is an alcoholic? I'm not sure. They drink every single day. Without fail.

What an emotional read this thread has been, but I think it’s something that I’ve needed to read. Alcoholic for 25 years (although I did have periods of being sober). Slipping backwards again, 3 bottles of wine multiple nights of the weeks. I’m going to check out the links from PP. I don’t think I can ever be completely sober, but at least be in control. If I go out and socialise I just don’t know when to stop and I end up embarrassing myself. So I don’t go out and then I feel miserable and stay at home and drink. 🤷🏻‍♀️. No alcohol since last Thursday so I remain positive.

My mum. She started drinking when my dad was diagnosed with cancer (treatable and he made a full recovery). She drank heavily for 5 years and died at 46 of alcoholic liver sclerosis. I was 19 at the time, and my brother was 15.

My mother drunk herself to death aged 51 so did my friend at 48.

Father and his brother both functioning alcoholics died respectively aged 71 and 77, both smoked like chimneys from primary school.
Another relative stopped then relapsed,she died in her 70’s from bowel cancer.

Currently watching my friends DH- he relapsed after rehab,he’s still functioning although I don’t think it will be long.

Friend of a friend broke his leg so they kept him in hospital to treat it- guy got DT so they helped him through that,he hasn’t touched the drink in the last 10 years so I hear.

Alcohol wrecks whole families. My mother made mine,my siblings and another 3 relative’s lives hell.It thrives in secrecy.

There’s very thin line between social then habitual then excessive drinking.

All I can say is you can’t stop somebody drinking. You didn’t cause it and you can’t cure it.

Look after yourself and your children OP as you know that your partner’s relationship is primarily with alcohol

Best wishes 💐

Yeah I “knew” someone…and I distanced myself from him.

He was a (gay/totally platonic) colleague of mine and we became close friends. It started as lunch together which turned into going offsite at Costa etc then after work dinners.

But pretty soon it turned into pub lunches where he would drink alcohol during work lunches, or buy rounds of shots. Or at after work dinner, he would do the same & just binge drink. When I said I didn’t want a drink, he’d buy me one anyway. He literally could not deal with an outing without alcohol.

On the odd occasion I went out with him on the weekend, I remember being shocked at his alcohol tolerance. He would drink amounts that would get me paralytic. I remember once, we went to friend’s dry wedding and he smuggled bottles of alcohol in. He’d be in a bad way too, on occasions getting into fights/arguments, getting lost, running out of taxis etc

I just remember thinking this guy has issues with alcohol and I didn’t like the environment it placed me so I ended the friendship. He ended up going off sick from work from an extended time and I hope he was able to get the help he needed to knock the habit off.

I know or should say I knew 2 - my uncle and his son, my cousin. Both had messed up lives, my cousin died young in his 50s having lost contact with his dd due to his alcoholism. He knew he had a problem but couldn't seem to do anything about it. very sad

This!

this is what I did. Protect myself and the kids and you feel awful doing so….

Our neighbour. I thought she was a friend after she attached onto me but she was hiding her addiction. It caused her to fall out with us over nothing, paranoia based, lies and rages. and its a sad state of affairs. Shes made our life hell but I still feel sorry for her. She hid it really well and i think she relapsed during 2020. Looking back now its all obvious. Her husband is a nice man,he must have had so many problems with her falling out with family and friends. Shes 57. I really do hope she sorts herself out and wish her well but feel its gone too far 😢
Some sad stories on here hugs to all xx

First one has been sober for 12 years with the help of AA.
Second died before the age of 40.
Third will probably be dead within a couple of years.

I had a relationship with the 1st, the second was a close relative and the third is a long-term friend.