I’m also someone who went through infertility so I have some understanding of what you’ve been through, as it was my eggs that were the problem like yours. We just found a different solution from you, we adopted our two DDs (now 16 and 13.)
I’m remembering DD1 at your DD’s age. She wasn’t easy to settle at all and holidays were worse than when we were at home. They were still enjoyable holidays, though, as she napped during the day and my DH and I shared the load. It became a lot harder when we adopted DD2, but we had nice times despite that and our DDs enjoyed them, which was the main thing.
And yes, we’ve mostly had caravan/cottage holidays. Because DD1 has always had issues with eating and there have never been many foods that she would eat. She also struggled to sit still for long periods when she was small. (She’s ND, still waiting for a neurodevelopmental assessment, probable FASD, and recently diagnosed with epilepsy.)
What I do remember is that it was hard to admit to anyone when I was finding things difficult as we’d pushed so hard to have DC, so I almost felt like it was expected of me to be enjoying motherhood. So my posts on Facebook were all positive.
But I found that I could share about the difficult parts of being an adoptive parent on Mumsnet, because it was anonymous and I found support from other non-judgemental mums. I suspect that’s why a lot of mums share negative feelings on here, it’s a safe place where they can be honest about things they’re struggling with.
When I’ve shared my various difficulties as a mum to 2 adopted DDs. I’ve definitely not intended to ‘scaremonger’, I’ve only been sharing my experiences.