Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

563 replies

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 14:42

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

OP posts:
Shessweetbutapsycho · 03/11/2025 15:00

I really don’t think you’re comparing like with like OP… I think lots wouldn’t mind a fairly nice all inclusive with one well behaved 18mo… as others have said, come back to us when you’re on a budget self catering break (because that’s all you can afford) with an 18mo plus a 4yo who won’t eat anything except plain pasta, and you’re trying to deal with tantrums, laundry and cooking, you and your partner need to split off to deal with different kids all day…

Halloweeeeeeeeen · 03/11/2025 14:58

people usually say it about self catering

Piratejenny99 · 03/11/2025 14:55

I absolutely love holidays with my kids too but I never took them abroad until they were over 3 and a large age gap meant I only ever had one pre school age at a time which was much easier. Of course they weren’t perfect but on the whole the balance was much more positive than negative.

If I had more kids closer in age I doubt I would have enjoyed it much.

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 03/11/2025 14:55

I think some people just don't enjoy parenting. That isn't their fault - nobody really knows how they're going to feel about it until they find themselves in that position. And if you don't like parenting, then you're not going to enjoy it any more in a different country, I suppose.

I was fortunate enough to find that I loved being a mum, and having time with our dd on holiday was nothing but a pleasure, but I get that it's a grind for some people, wish is a shame. Hopefully, some will find it more enjoyable as their dc get older.

NikkiPotnick · 03/11/2025 14:54

Same shit different place and not worth doing aren't synonymous. The first can be true without the second being.

MellyBM · 03/11/2025 14:52

I’m with you, op. I think the key is that you have to adjust your expectations- if your idea of a holiday is drinking margaritas by the pool all day or clubbing or reading on the beach for hours then obviously some things will have to change. It’s a different sort of holiday.

DearyDrearyDear · 03/11/2025 14:51

taking an 18 month old on holiday isn't comparable to taking 3 or 4 siblings 😅

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/11/2025 14:49

Different people have different experiences, @LadyGreyjoy.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 03/11/2025 14:48

Come back when you have a 4 year old

QueenVanSeahorse · 03/11/2025 14:48

For rather a lot of parents it is a case of same shit, different pot.

DappledThings · 03/11/2025 14:48

I'm with you OP. The "same shit different location" was never my experience. The different location is the point. We don't get to do quite as much on our holidays as they used to because we can't reasonably make the DC walk so far or prioritise another museum over some extra pool time.

So there's compromise but it's still a holiday with all the excitement that brings.

Ponderingwindow · 03/11/2025 14:47

You have a child you can put your bed and then go sit on the balcony. That isn’t true for everyone with an 18 month old on holiday. The only way ours was going to bed was to go to bed with her.

Imanoldbride · 03/11/2025 14:45

self catering trips with multiple children age 3+ can be very challenging. not everyone is able to afford this type of trip. Most of my kids childhoods was spent in a caravan park where I did cooking and cleaning. I have fond memories now we no longer do that kind of trip but at the time it was hard work

glad you are in a lucky position?

Swipe left for the next trending thread