To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

So you have your experience and other people have theirs. It’s a bit like saying you don’t understand why some people like eating marmite and others don’t. It just makes you look uneducated to not be able to realise different people have different experiences and are in different situations.

This quote is from the same kind of people who say things like ‘a holiday with children isn’t a holiday’ or ‘have them close together and get it over with.’ It drives me mad! Have children because you want them, all the time, not just for a short time or when it suits!

That said @divorcinganabsolutewanker , not everyone has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mum, so there’s really no need for such a judgmental comment.

Because a holiday is a rest.

Depends on the set up. I remember going away with DD1 as a baby in the UK and finding that stressful and doing the same stuff but elsewhere, and finding it like moving an army and also extra stresses of finding somewhere to change her when out and about or worrying whether somewhere was child friendly.

By the time she was 18 months and we went away to Spain with the in-laws, it was a bit easier, but less stuff to take and having an extra pair of hands was great, and we had a night out by ourselves as well.

When DD1 was only a few months old we went to Portugal with the inlaws and both DDs, and again we did have some chance to relax while we were there, and were much more used to being parents, but I have to say flying and getting there generally was always stressful with small children and it took me half the week to chill out from that and work.

I first took mine abroad when they were 5 and 22 months. Self catering. Two weeks in Canaries and we had an absolute blast.

I think it really depends on

• how many children you have. Holidays with only one are much easier with small children.
• Where you go. Well designed, all-inclusives are probably easier with small children but they’re not to everyone’s taste/budget (and some don’t live up to expectations). We’ve also been over-ambitious at times and with small kids that doesn’t always work and no-one enjoys it, if you’re used to adventurous travelling then adapting to holidays with small children can take some adjustment.
• The temperament of your child (a child that needs very specific routines or food etc is going to be harder than a more relaxed child)
• How much help you have from your partner (or other adults like grandparents or kids clubs)
• Whether your child is in a tricky stage (it’s different for all children/parents. I loved taking my son travelling as a small baby, he was an exhausting liability from 1-2, and I love travelling with him again now he’s 3. Other people I know had less boisterous toddlers but would have found travelling with a newborn difficult, or have a stroppy 3 year old etc)

I don’t think travelling with children is necessarily bad, we’ve had some great trips. But I can also understand why some people find it stressful or don’t have a great time.

I went to Greece with my daughter when she was a year old. She was fine except for one moment on the beach, when we had to leave. When we arrived in hotel she had a huge smile on her face and had done the most humongous nappy job ever. Well, that texplained the screaming, poor mite. I was really proud of her.

Mine didn't sleep more than two hours in a row at that age. And has ADHD so not relaxing at all.

But then I don't love being a mum like you... <sarcasm>

It depends on whether its self catering or catered.
I have a ND son.
We tried camping. He escaped the tent.
We tried caravanning (tourer). He would escape the awning.
We tried caravanning (static). Marginally better but was at risk of going into the kitchen and turning the gas on.

I think it varies. My children were both at the top end of the energetic sphere and so were particularly tiring. My daughter was borderline hyperactive and couldn’t sit still so going on holiday and having her not be able to sit on a plane and then not being able to relax at all as we’d have to be out and about constantly just put us off and we didn’t start travelling until she was 5 or 6. Contrast of my nephew who is so chill and easy going and frankly the world’s most relaxed toddler. My sibling took him away from about a Year old and he’s been a dream to travel with. It really is child demeaned which dictates how easy it is to travel- how well they adapt to time differences and different foods etc. how easy it is to break normal routine as well.

An all inclusive with a good sleeping 18 month year old would be an absolute joy.

Some of the people complaining may not have the space and ease of that on holiday.

Being in a hotel and all inclusive make it very different - to a lot of people on here holiday means self catering which is, IMO, not a holiday as you are just relocating to do the same housework/cooking etc. Kids or not doesn’t really come into it for me although I am a much better parent when someone else is doing all the cooking and cleaning 🤣

I absolutely refuse to do self-catering holidays (unless that means we eat out in restaurants 2-3 times a day), and I agree I have not found an issue with holidaying with small kids.

I find the biggest killer of my enjoyment is having to plan, buy, make, serve, wash up etc meals multiple times a day - plus washing up. I hate it.

Good for you. I found holidays with tinies horrendous!

A lot of people seem to hate parenting, OP, and much prefer staying home to work to going on holiday where they have to be wit their children more. You enjoyed it because you enjoy your child.. And I'm glad you did! You'll have lots of lovely holidays

Some people resent having children, and if they can't have the same holidays than before, they moan. There's also a certain category of people who must have a routine to the minute, want to put their kids to bed at 4 in the afternoon (and then complain the kids are up at 5am 😂)

I find time on holidays much easier with children, from pretty much birth

Yes, it takes work, but it's so much more interesting and they are easier to entertain, it's new, it's a discovery, you are having a better time. In the best circumstances, you even have a partner and that's 2 adults instead of one.

Who cares if the routine changes a bit? Go with the flow.

That said, holidays are not mandatory, so when people hate them, they can stay home, so its not an issue.

Loved taking my kid places when she was 18months old and under - it is not easy with a 3/4 year old - especially as people say when you go self catering. Every kid is different but ours gets so excited she won’t go to bed easily for the first few nights and just runs up and down hyper until about 11pm. Then she is cranky in the day and having tantrums over tiny things - she also wants all of the treats all of the time and won’t accept no for an answer.

After the first 4 days it’s usually lovely but you still don’t get to swim alone or read a book - it’s constant running up and down the beach, jumping in the waves and going to playgrounds - lovely but not relaxing. We tend to go for 10 days so we can get around a week after she has calmed down.

If we had a calm kid, went all inclusive and had kids club it would be a real break!

Well it rather depends upon the circumstances, no? If you're self-catering in an apartment or villa rather than a hotel then you do still have to do cleaning, a certain amount of shopping, cooking etc. Assuming you have more than one child they'll still bicker on holiday as they do at home. Not everyone gets to just put their child to bed and then go and relax. With some kids you're losing your evening/sleep trying to get them to go to bed and sleep in an unfamiliar place instead of at home. Not all kids deal well with the interruption to their routine and familiar surroundings, which can make parenting them on holiday more difficult than at home. Do I need to go on? It's great that you found it all so easy but maybe, just maybe not everyone has the same experience? I mean why would they lie?

The other problem I've only really noticed from being on Mumsnet is that a holiday can throw into relief how fucking useless and unhelpful some of the fathers can be. The daily routine of work and activities can hide it well, but then you go on holiday and are together a lot more and the fathers are expected to actually join in with the parenting, and it turns out a lot can't/don't/won't. I can see how annoying that would be.

Why do some people complain about the most mundane things in life?

You’re a parent wherever you go, on holiday or not. Who actually expects it to be different? If you don’t enjoy it, don’t go, and if you don’t want to be a parent, don’t be one. Holidays with small children aren’t always relaxing - that’s not news.

You work very long hours op

no wonder you enjoyed so much!

I think its varies widely on your kids, whether there is neurodivergence in play, what ages they are, the type of holiday you can afford and the type of parent you are. For us, I've enjoyed every single holiday we have been on, which have included self catering cottages/caravans/glamping, catered villas, beachy weeks (usually staying in a cottage or house rental) and Orlando Disney/Universal trips. We've never done an all inclusive hotel as i hate the thought of all being in one room but I understand why that would work for some. Although we have done alot of self catering we keep things simple and eat out alot (but that required financial privilege). Makes a big difference that my DH does an equal share of all parenting, cooking etc and we give each other alone time / time off parenting during holidays. He will usually go for a run, I will usually read a book by the pool / on the beach in peace