To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

Post holiday I’m usually in a lovely relaxed post holiday glow

The op instead is struggling to understand how other parents view different types of holidays

OP… you need to book another holiday pronto!

Well I love parenting hence I'm dedicating my life to it. But I'd love it at home or at a resort so I only go on holiday for the kids really. I don't need a holiday from a life that I love.

When I was a kid I always remember my Mum not liking holidays and as an adult and parent I can fully appreciate why! I’m the eldest of five and fourteen years older than my youngest sibling.

We would stay at the seaside or the Yorkshire Dales, self catering so my Mum still had to cook dinner for us every night just in a kitchen that wasn’t well equipped. My Dad would take us older ones out walking and my Mum looked after the younger ones. We were all allergic to dust so my Mum had to clean them top to bottom so we didn’t wheeze all week (they were never clean enough). So it was far from a holiday for her. I know she chose to have us all and I loved our family holidays.

I agree op, i've enjoyed all our family holidays, whatever age the kids

instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week

I think parents who care for their small children all day throughout the week anyway would probably feel differently.

You don't know the first time though do you? You don't know how your child will cope with a particular type of holiday until you are on it. We did of course adjust what we did on subsequent holidays and we have lovely holidays now. Some children really struggle with staying in a different place and being out of routine.

We had lots of fantastic camping and self catering holidays with our children from babyhood to teenage years.

Took turns to entertain them and be with them at the pool. I often had a chance to sit and read while husband was with them. A few ski holidays, too. All great fun and agree with you, OP.

I remember going away w DD at around 16 months. To be fair the weather wasn’t the greatest but she was going through a very fussy food stage, so barely ate. We’d go out to restaurants in the evenings and she was grumpy but wouldn’t sleep in the buggy. Back in the flat she had to sleep in the bedroom on her own and we slept in the lounge on the sofabed (I was also pregnant w DS at this point).
She was also taking first steps (I have late walkers) so that added a nice dimension too.
Shes 23 now but I remember that holiday well! It wasn’t all bad, but it was not a nice relaxing break!

Rather that than a pile on poster!

She had a nice holiday with her dd, good for her. My sense of self isn't decimated by someone else having a nice holiday.

Mine would always sleep at home.i was sleep training queen. But on holiday would take so much longer.
OP, with one kid its pretty easy because you can adapt to them, be flexible, more easy going, deal with the odd tantrum and be in tune with their needs .But when you have two or three or four children (as we do) all wanting different things, getring tired, cross, hot and hungry at different times it is a lot harder.
Our DD always started waking up ridiculously early on holiday (like 4.30am whereas DS2 wouldn't go to sleep until 11pm. It wasn't all that relaxing. Lots of fun though in between the craziness.

Oh lush holidays are fabulous

I don't think I'm making others feel bad about it. I'm genuinely heartbroken about it myself. We spent so much time and effort and hard earned money for holidays we thought the kids would love (we planned it around them fully) and they hated every minute of it, it was horrible. We had meltdowns after meltdowns at every step of the way, broken nights and 5am start, I literally cried every night because of the intense stress we had every day, then trying to put a brave face on every morning. I'm saying that it isn't just a question of "enjoying holiday with your kids" or "do XYZ and it'll all be fine". For some kids and some parents, sometimes it doesn't matter how well prepared and well intentioned you are, it all turns to shit. 😪

I could and would never work 6am - 7pm 4 days a week and then husband work the other days. So barely any family time together ever.

However I “understand” why others would and do.

Ah ok, you are saying that some parents don't enjoy holidays because they have to be with their children all the time.

Did none of the posts on this thread with people giving their experiences make you see this any differently?

I’ve done all sorts of holidays with my children at all sorts of ages (they’re 11 and 13 now) and enjoyed them all. The different location is the whole point - news sights to see, potentially better weather, a general “holiday” atmosphere. My only regret is that we haven’t done more!

You are not horrible. It's hard work. We once went for 3 weeks abroad when they were 4 and a half and 18 months (long haul-4 flights there and 4 back) and omg it put us off holidays for a few years, my son had motion sickness and vomited multiple times in one of the flights, then they didn't manage the heat well and were just finding it so hard, add to this that they just ran in different directions 😭. We braved it again when they were much older (9 and 7) but only a 4 hour flight. What a difference. We had a great holiday.

Because they find it hard in some way that you don't. It's not that difficult to understand and it doesn't mean you're better at going on holiday than they are (or better at parenting either). It just means they probably won't bother going on holiday with small children and can sympathise with others who don't enjoy it. I've never seen anyone say 'don't go on holiday with small children' but I have seen people say 'readjust your expectations' which I'm sure you agree with.

I'm glad you had a nice holiday though.

Goodness why? Guess you'd tried gentle sleep training...? How long did you have to do this for (age)?

No they don’t.

MNers moan when they have more than 1
child and are having to sort out everything they do at home but in a different harder location.

You have 1 child who hasn’t even reached 2 and haven’t really experienced proper travel with said child.

Read the room. This is a parenting site with thousands of mums who have a fair bit more experience than you on this topic .

I agree OP. Parenting in a sunnier location, staying in some kind of accommodation that is not my shit heap of a house and either eating out or cooking easy meals is absolutely a holiday.

And our kids didn't really sleep so we all just went to bed at the same time - again, a holiday from the bedtime battles and I got 10 hours of broken sleep instead of 7 hours. What's not to love.

Im with you op. Have loved all the holidays with the kids. Time with them, gorgeous swims and walks and lovely balcony wine when they are asleep after all the swimming. Harder than before kids, sure but way nicer than the daily grind. I have teens now and dreading the day they don't want to come with us.

I always had a lovely time on holiday with my kids too.

Yes they weren’t lie on a sunbed for 8 hours a day but that wasn’t my kind of holiday anyway.

My two aren’t fussy eaters, and have always slept. They also don’t really push boundaries/misbehave/scream. They may have a slight wobble if worried but I would take them to visit the airport before we flew (easy when you live close to city airport) to talk them through it all.

Its also a very different experience travelling with one child as opposed to two or more.

And it wasn’t fir me.

Does it mean I did holidays wrong?
Or I don’t know what I’m talking about?

Why should it an issue to say you enjoyed your hols with your child…. I really don’t get it.

If you dint, then you dint. I think it’s a real shame.
But why make people feel bad if they do?

Not all kids are the same. Not all parents are the same. Why is that difficult to understand? My two kids walked really early (9 and 10 months). They were both extremely adventurous since a very young age. To cite some examples of why it was stressful: we were on holiday the day she turned 7 months, in a house with stairs. She went all the way up 2 flights of stairs (concrete ones with tile) that day and do not stop after that so that was me going up and down the stairs next to her constantly. I know kids that barely move at that age, some don't even crawl...she also once jumped in a pool at 2 years old while on holiday and I had to jump to get her , I was 34 weeks pregnant. When my son was 18 months, he locked himself in a bedroom then on the on suite of that bedroom while holidaying in an apartment. We had to ring reception and wait 10 min for the keys of those doors, he also once ran in a lift that was about to close and I barely stopped the thing closing with my foot.I am a very anxious person and I still keep my eyes on them at all times (or try) but they have always been very fast and very determined,so I can understand why some parents don't want to travel when they are young. If you have a calm kid that is a very different experience you are getting.