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To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

563 replies

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 14:42

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

OP posts:
NoMoreBrownSofas · 03/11/2025 17:23

ThePoshUns · 03/11/2025 17:16

Bully for you OP. Your Parent of the Year award is in the post, ive addressed it to Smuggy McSmugface

Edited

This. Sorry. But would you like a medal?
You enjoyed your holiday that's great, I'm genuinely pleased for you. But you do come across as both smug and totally unaware of how other people's experiences may be different from yours.

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:23

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:22

And yet I don't struggle and we're all really happy. So not hard at all.

You don’t struggle having zero family time aside from on holidays? Or working 13 hour days?

hats off. I would.

KindnessIsKey123 · 03/11/2025 17:23

I think you have misunderstood the advice of “parenting in another place’.

It is an phrase/advice women often give to new mothers to manage their expectations for holidays with small children.

Often one of the biggest issues when a new parent is unrealistic expectations versus reality. A lot of kind, experienced parents told me as a first-time parent to expect holidays to be parenting in another place, to manage my expectations because all previous holidays had been my husband and I, complete relaxation for two weeks.

This is the purpose of the phrase/advice…

and I for one, found it very helpful.

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:22

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:21

4 days working 6am - 7pm
And husband working the next few days so zero family time?

I regard that as hard

Her and her dd are family.

Her dh and her dd are family.

So they always have family time.

myheadsjustmush · 03/11/2025 17:22

I agree with you to a certain extent - holidaying when we only had one child was a walk in the park.

But, add in another one or two siblings, teething and sleepless nights, it becomes more difficult - especially if you are self catering, and have the usual washing up / cooking / cleaning to deal with.

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:22

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:21

4 days working 6am - 7pm
And husband working the next few days so zero family time?

I regard that as hard

And yet I don't struggle and we're all really happy. So not hard at all.

OP posts:
Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:22

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:21

So you had the same holiday as OP? Why are you giving her a hard time?

Head. Wall. Bang.

Did you see how I say that I don’t struggle to “understand” that other parents will have different experiences and therefore views?

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:21

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 03/11/2025 17:20

While all of them were in utero - never to early to start to camping. We were brassic until the last two were born but still had a few more trips up until they were 4/5 as the big ones loved it so much
Bit of a military undertaking - hard work but good memories (for them !)

Respect!! I couldn't face a camp bed while pregnant, I'm impressed!

OP posts:
Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:21

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:20

My life isn't hard at all 😘

4 days working 6am - 7pm
And husband working the next few days so zero family time?

I regard that as hard

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:21

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:17

Yes I suppose it is… sitting in car waiting to pick up DD from netball

I LOVED my holiday with my little ones
and I LOVE them now

but they were five star all inclusive, beautiful sun day in and day out

so I have and had no problem “understanding” how others may not view their holidays with young children the same.

life must be hard if you struggle to understand this, really hard 💐

So you had the same holiday as OP? Why are you giving her a hard time?

NerrSnerr · 03/11/2025 17:21

Purpleandgreenyarn · 03/11/2025 17:16

I took a 20month old and a 5 year old on a plan to Tokyo by myself (my partner was already there with work) it was fantastic.
just because some people can enjoy it, doesn’t make it wrong.

No one has said it’s wrong to enjoy their holidays. What people are frustrated with is the ‘I can’t understand how different families with different children can possibly not enjoy their holiday’ rubbish.

Either the OP seriously lacks intelligence and imagination to even consider people experience things differently or she’s being smug and enjoying feeling superior.

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 03/11/2025 17:20

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:14

When did you start camping with you babies?

I love camping and usually go four or five times a year but haven't gone since having my daughter because I'm scared of her freezing to death sleeping outside 🙈 I'd love to take her for an adventure in the tent!

While all of them were in utero - never to early to start to camping. We were brassic until the last two were born but still had a few more trips up until they were 4/5 as the big ones loved it so much
Bit of a military undertaking - hard work but good memories (for them !)

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:20

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:17

Yes I suppose it is… sitting in car waiting to pick up DD from netball

I LOVED my holiday with my little ones
and I LOVE them now

but they were five star all inclusive, beautiful sun day in and day out

so I have and had no problem “understanding” how others may not view their holidays with young children the same.

life must be hard if you struggle to understand this, really hard 💐

My life isn't hard at all 😘

OP posts:
LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:19

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:16

Lol, I wonder if she is making the cat's bum face like this

😼

or like this in profile

😾

😂

OP posts:
Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:19

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:16

Lol, I wonder if she is making the cat's bum face like this

😼

or like this in profile

😾

Do you have children @nomas ?

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:17

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:16

Lol, I wonder if she is making the cat's bum face like this

😼

or like this in profile

😾

Side profile cat's bum facey doesn't work

😿

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:17

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:11

Get the boot in again! You're clearly desperate for it.

I really hope it's meeting whatevers need is not fulfilled for you.

I am finding your perpetual cats bum face entertaining between singing five little ducks on repeat 😉

Edited

Yes I suppose it is… sitting in car waiting to pick up DD from netball

I LOVED my holiday with my little ones
and I LOVE them now

but they were five star all inclusive, beautiful sun day in and day out

so I have and had no problem “understanding” how others may not view their holidays with young children the same.

life must be hard if you struggle to understand this, really hard 💐

Plantlady10 · 03/11/2025 17:16

We have a 1.5 and 3.5 and all our holidays are UK self catering (same as before kids).

I've found holidays have their ups and downs - many times of frustration often around naps/bedtime. But generally lots of good memories are made too, with some lovely days out. We also go on holiday with my parents, mostly for cost reasons but the extra pair of hands is a huge help and means we get an evening out too!

We even went camping this summer - the evenings were a write-off as bedtime took so long but we went paddling/swimming in a stream, trips to the beach, lovely walks.

I also think the memories of holidays with kids are often better than when you are actually living it 😆

ThePoshUns · 03/11/2025 17:16

Bully for you OP. Your Parent of the Year award is in the post, ive addressed it to Smuggy McSmugface

Purpleandgreenyarn · 03/11/2025 17:16

I took a 20month old and a 5 year old on a plan to Tokyo by myself (my partner was already there with work) it was fantastic.
just because some people can enjoy it, doesn’t make it wrong.

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:16

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:11

Get the boot in again! You're clearly desperate for it.

I really hope it's meeting whatevers need is not fulfilled for you.

I am finding your perpetual cats bum face entertaining between singing five little ducks on repeat 😉

Edited

Lol, I wonder if she is making the cat's bum face like this

😼

or like this in profile

😾

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:14

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:13

What is she supposed to do when her dd is napping? Stare in wonder at her cute face? (Which I'm sure she does sometimes).

I actually do sometimes 🤣 if I'm lucky enough to get sleepy cuddles!

OP posts:
LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:14

TheFallenMadonna · 03/11/2025 17:10

We did camping with our two from babies 'til late teens. Loved it. Because we camped often so we had our very familiar space in interesting places. Revisited campsites often for more familiarity. Routines established. I need that, as does my daughter. Now they are grown up, DH and I have a campervan for the same vibes. My space on wheels.

When did you start camping with you babies?

I love camping and usually go four or five times a year but haven't gone since having my daughter because I'm scared of her freezing to death sleeping outside 🙈 I'd love to take her for an adventure in the tent!

OP posts:
nomas · 03/11/2025 17:13

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:06

This is how your choosing to spend one of your precious days off with your daughter Op?

What is she supposed to do when her dd is napping? Stare in wonder at her cute face? (Which I'm sure she does sometimes).

TheBirdintheCave · 03/11/2025 17:13

Dontlletmedownbruce · 03/11/2025 14:48

Come back when you have a 4 year old

We’ve just taken our four year old and 18 month old to Florence. It was great 🤷🏻‍♀️