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To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

563 replies

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 14:42

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

OP posts:
Sooose · 03/11/2025 17:32

It took us way too many years to understand that self catering with three tots was never going to work. It was just the same housework as at home without the convenience of things you have organised the way you like them. DH and I both ended up getting sick on those holidays. We would never have afforded a hotel based holiday.
Then when we found those activity holidays (am I allowed to say PGL?), fully catered and all activities organised for the whole family; it was a game-changer. So we did a lot of those. The only downside was parents having to do abseiling as well - not too bad! Got to meet some great other families that way too.

Cat1504 · 03/11/2025 17:32

Come back OP when you’ve got 3 under 5 …not worse the hassle

VimesBootsIndex · 03/11/2025 17:32

Absolutely agree re: the memories - holidays with small kids are very much type 2 fun (not actually fun at the time, worth it in retrospect!)

Definitely also think it depends very much on your kids

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:31

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:30

DD is out! I’ll leave you to your struggles Op

I'm not struggling darling, but you keep telling yourself whatever you need to to make yourself feel better 😘

OP posts:
slightlyoverbaked · 03/11/2025 17:31

My kids are waaaay past this age but you sound exceptionally smug OP.

ONE small child, between two adults. Child goes to bed at bedtime. Child isn’t unsettled or upset at being away from home, so is happy the majority of the time.

OP - absolutely ridiculous post. Not because you had a brilliant time, that’s great. Many people can and do have a good time with small children. But can you really “not understand” why this may not be the case for everyone?! Really?! Come back in a few years and tell us how the rest of your holidays have been OP and we can have a good laugh

Hollibobbie · 03/11/2025 17:30

@LadyGreyjoy I understand the complaints. Because I'm not an idiot.

My 6, 4 and 3 year olds are the most chilled out, happy go lucky kids I've ever met. I genuinely enjoy their company and we have loads of fun together. If I had the money I'd happily take them to an AI and we'd play, swim, eat, have a brilliant time in the sun and we'd all love it.

But all kids are different. I absolutely recognise that my parenting experience is not the one everyone - or even most people - get, so if you had a more challenging child, or more than one, or a different age then I do y understand why YOU can't 'understand' why people don't want to go on holiday.

Would you like to hear that you're a better parent? Or just hear oh my goodness you're so lucky, I'm jealous of you?

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:30

DD is out! I’ll leave you to your struggles Op

sandyhappypeople · 03/11/2025 17:30

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 16:34

A lot of MN posters complain about doing exactly that though and seem to think it's not a holiday because they have to do parenting.

Hence the thread.

I think you may be misinterpreting people's complaints slightly OP, I've only ever seen people complaining in that way who are going self catering (usually due to cost), that sort of holiday is not at all comparable with the type you have come back from.

Why would people say, "same shit different location", when they are all inclusive with no cooking, cleaning and kids clubs/entertainment to send the kids to? Most people hugely enjoy the difference in pace!

Happy to be proven wrong, but I think you may be comparing apples and oranges.

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:29

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:27

Er no, loads of people have posted to support OP.

Don't try the we vs you nonsense, it's cringeworthy.

She's just a bully trying to belittle my life choices because other people being happy clearly pisses her off.

There are lots of these types on MN. They're part of what makes AIBU so entertaining!

OP posts:
Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:29

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:28

She hasn't struggled to understand, she has shared her own experience, she is allowed to do that. The world doesn't revolve around your rigid beliefs.

that head really is tightly lodged up there isn’t it? 😆

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:28

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:27

You are not the sharpest tool 🤭

I am being “judgey” about someone seemingly struggling to understand how people have different parenting experiences and holidays

Edited

She hasn't struggled to understand, she has shared her own experience, she is allowed to do that. The world doesn't revolve around your rigid beliefs.

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:28

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:27

Er no, loads of people have posted to support OP.

Don't try the we vs you nonsense, it's cringeworthy.

Have a read

it is massively in favour of…. What are you on about Op 😵‍💫

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:27

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:25

You're being very judgy about how other people live their lives.

You are not the sharpest tool 🤭

I am being “judgey” about someone seemingly struggling to understand how people have different parenting experiences and holidays

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:27

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:26

Look around @nomas
you are something of an outlier with your unwavering support for the Op
understatement

Er no, loads of people have posted to support OP.

Don't try the we vs you nonsense, it's cringeworthy.

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:26

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:26

I don't kowtow to interrogations.

You don’t 🤷‍♀️

Mondaytuesdayhappydays · 03/11/2025 17:26

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:21

Respect!! I couldn't face a camp bed while pregnant, I'm impressed!

Blow up roll mat from the 90s lol!
I was fit as a flea pregnant and full
of energy in my 20s
Had the meno at 39 so was knackered during the teen years Instead lol

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:26

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:25

You're being very judgy about how other people live their lives.

Look around @nomas
you are something of an outlier with your unwavering support for the Op
understatement

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:26

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:25

Ok so no, you don’t

I don't kowtow to interrogations.

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:25

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:24

Weird

You're being very judgy about how other people live their lives.

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:25

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:24

Why are my holidays relevant to OP? Confused

Ok so no, you don’t

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:25

NerrSnerr · 03/11/2025 17:21

No one has said it’s wrong to enjoy their holidays. What people are frustrated with is the ‘I can’t understand how different families with different children can possibly not enjoy their holiday’ rubbish.

Either the OP seriously lacks intelligence and imagination to even consider people experience things differently or she’s being smug and enjoying feeling superior.

No.

I can't understand why people think that doing the same parenting that they do at home but in a different place makes it's a waste of time going to a different place.

If your kid can't cope going somewhere new, so you're not just doing the same parenting in a different place you're actually trying to placate a demon that is obviously different.

You're the one lacking in intelligence because you can't understand that.

OP posts:
nomas · 03/11/2025 17:24

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:24

do you have children @nomas ? If so, what are your hols like?

Why are my holidays relevant to OP? Confused

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:24

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:22

Her and her dd are family.

Her dh and her dd are family.

So they always have family time.

Weird

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:24

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:23

OP doesn't struggle either. She has clearly said she understands that it's just parenting in a different place.

do you have children @nomas ? If so, what are your hols like?

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:23

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:22

Head. Wall. Bang.

Did you see how I say that I don’t struggle to “understand” that other parents will have different experiences and therefore views?

OP doesn't struggle either. She has clearly said she understands that it's just parenting in a different place.