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To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?

563 replies

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 14:42

We have an 18 month old and have just got back from a week all inclusive in Spain. Obviously we did just parent out daughter in a different place, but I don't see that as a bad thing and certainly not a reason to say there was no point in going. I love being a mum, I waited a long time for my daughter due to infertility and I've been dreaming of family holidays for years. Whilst I still had to do the parenting (which I enjoy doing anyway) I didn't have to cook, wash up or clean, the food was lovely and far better than we cook at home, I did no laundry for a week and instead of working all day and only getting two hours in the evening with my daughter a day I got to play in the pool/on the beach with her all day every day for a week. After she was asleep instead of watching TV and being too tired to do anything we sat on the balcony listening to the music from the bar and drank cocktails and chatted, real quality time with my husband I am usually too tired to enjoy.

On here there are many threads making out a holiday with small children is shit and not worth the effort and that hasn't been my experience at all. The journey there and back was a bit rough and exactly what I expected it to be like tbh. Other than that it's been bliss and I would 10/10 recommend people go and do it. I was kind of dreading it after reading all the threads here but I wish I hadn't worried about it so much now.

OP posts:
whoamI00 · 03/11/2025 18:08

I might be in the minority here but I find them to be wonderful travel companions

PickASize · 03/11/2025 18:05

That's your experience with an 18 month old, but as a mother to a challenging 5 year old.. It gets harder and yes it doesn't really feel like a holiday anymore.
My child wants to play every 5 minutes of the day and is exhausting and won't leave us alone. The only peace we get is on holidays with relatives, as at least other people can take over and give us a bit of a break. Not to mention the tantrums over the tiniest things..yeah come back in a few years when you've had a few difficult phases as they are not always easy.

NerrSnerr · 03/11/2025 18:02

freakingscared · 03/11/2025 17:48

I’m with you ! I’ve traveled with my kids since they were born and I love taking them on holiday . I think most people who can’t enjoy is because they don’t choose holidays that cater for all the family or are not used to being with their kids long periods of time .

Have you read the thread with many of us giving reasons why some parents find holidays harder?

MardyAnn · 03/11/2025 18:02

Three of my kids were compliant little puddings at 18 months.
DC3 at that age was a whirlwind. Constantly on the go, CONSTANTLY! I spent most of our days at home trying to prevent him from hurting himself.
Being away from home without the usual tools in my armoury and added hazards of swimming pools, the sea, balconies, slippery tiled floors, angry stray cats (in Crete), him being a redhead with a severe sun cream allergy.
If we did AI we’d be cramped in the rooms so not getting as much sleep unless you spend ££££££ for an AI villa which are stunning but full of lovely things for him to break and a pool he could drown in or go self catering which is also lovely but then there’s some chores and again an unsupervised pool plus there were two older children to please who wanted to go to water parks etc and baby DC4 to look after.
Our holidays until he was about 4 weren’t even same shit different place they were worse shit in a different place and the knowledge we’d have to fly home with him likely screaming all the way.

NerrSnerr · 03/11/2025 18:01

TeenLifeMum · 03/11/2025 17:44

At 20 months old I took my twins to Canada plus 4 yo dd. Loved it. Snow on the ground meant pushchair was pointless so we used backpack carriers. Lovely memories. I think it’s the parents who expect to chill by the pool are the ones who end up disappointed.

I have never expected to chill by the pool (my children have only done one ‘pool’ holiday). I enjoy holidays but they do require work. My youngest will have lots of fun but you need to put in a lot of input for this. He gets overwhelmed if too much is going on and needs downtime which needs to be factored in, especially with our older child who wants to do it all. This is not an unusual experience- many, many parents have children who although enjoy and get a lot out of holidays, need some additional parenting to manage that. I am surprised that many people don’t seem to appreciate this.

GlasgowGal2014 · 03/11/2025 17:58

I've had good holidays and not so good holidays with my kids and your recent holiday sounds like one of my best. Next try a self-catering holiday in a caravan with no room to swing a cat and nowhere comfortable to sit on continental Europe during a heatwave with two grumpy pre-teens and let us know how you get on...

Flomingho · 03/11/2025 17:52

We have always taken holidays since DD was a few months old. We wanted to get her used to travelling from a young age so it wasn't a daunting experience when she was older. Our holidays have been a mix of AI and self catering and both ways have had their positives and negatives. I do appreciate that some children or if there is more than one child and they are close in age could be challenging though.

YorkshireIndie · 03/11/2025 17:51

It is hard when you do not have access to washing facilities and end up having to buy new shoes because they have done a wee in them and suddenly decide not to use the potty when they know how to (very recent experience). It is hard when you are all in one room (no idea how people did it during Covid or current asylum seekers) and there is no place to go.

freakingscared · 03/11/2025 17:48

I’m with you ! I’ve traveled with my kids since they were born and I love taking them on holiday . I think most people who can’t enjoy is because they don’t choose holidays that cater for all the family or are not used to being with their kids long periods of time .

RaininSummer · 03/11/2025 17:46

When my two were young, holidays generally meant trying to produce three meals a day in a field and constant trips to the loos with them. Wasn't that much fun on the whole.

TeenLifeMum · 03/11/2025 17:44

At 20 months old I took my twins to Canada plus 4 yo dd. Loved it. Snow on the ground meant pushchair was pointless so we used backpack carriers. Lovely memories. I think it’s the parents who expect to chill by the pool are the ones who end up disappointed.

PotOfViolas · 03/11/2025 17:43

BrendaSmall · 03/11/2025 17:41

I loved holidays with my 3 children when they were younger, they’re all adults now
I lived for school holidays and weekends!
we had our own touring caravan, so every opportunity we we away. In the 6 weeks summer holidays my husband would take us and the caravan somewhere and leave us there and he’d come home because he had to work and he’d join us weekends.
it was bliss, one of my daughters has ADJD, and being able to have her freedom and the space to be wild suited us all!
id still have cooking, dishes, laundry and cleaning to do every day, I fact the laundry was more than being home because they’d be out playing regardless of the weather every day and also beach & swimming!
Id love to go back to those days!

Does sound nice

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:42

NoMoreBrownSofas · 03/11/2025 17:40

This is so unnecessary and childish I don't really know where to start. What a nasty thing to say to someone.

Lol. That poster has been saying nasty things to me all afternoon.

OP posts:
nomas · 03/11/2025 17:41

NoMoreBrownSofas · 03/11/2025 17:40

This is so unnecessary and childish I don't really know where to start. What a nasty thing to say to someone.

Have you seen her posts to me? Calling me thick? That was fine though right?

BrendaSmall · 03/11/2025 17:41

I loved holidays with my 3 children when they were younger, they’re all adults now
I lived for school holidays and weekends!
we had our own touring caravan, so every opportunity we we away. In the 6 weeks summer holidays my husband would take us and the caravan somewhere and leave us there and he’d come home because he had to work and he’d join us weekends.
it was bliss, one of my daughters has ADJD, and being able to have her freedom and the space to be wild suited us all!
id still have cooking, dishes, laundry and cleaning to do every day, I fact the laundry was more than being home because they’d be out playing regardless of the weather every day and also beach & swimming!
Id love to go back to those days!

NoMoreBrownSofas · 03/11/2025 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This is so unnecessary and childish I don't really know where to start. What a nasty thing to say to someone.

VimesBootsIndex · 03/11/2025 17:39

NerrSnerr · 03/11/2025 17:32

I think you’re underestimating the number of children who will find the change in routine/ food/ sleep hard. It’s not saying that holidays are still
not fun, but very hard work to keep the children happy and regulated.

Very much this. I still enjoy holidays but I always take a bit of extra leave before I go back to work now, as I really do need a holiday to recover from my holiday.

DD (5) is autistic - when she was 18m old I could hardly leave the house with her never mind go on holiday. However, time has passed, we’ve learnt to cope and I absolutely love seeing DD enjoying things I never thought she’d do. But it is still bloody knackering keeping the show on the road.

Even toddler DS, who was a revelation to travel with as a baby (so easy!), is hard to keep regulated when we’re away. He struggles to sleep and goes a bit wild through over tiredness.

MargaretThursday · 03/11/2025 17:39

One of those posts where you think "bless their little cotton socks."

I love being with my dc. Loved the baby years - even loved the toddler years. It was easier having them at home. You have their toys, their sleep place, their routine isn't out of whack, medicine if they need it, you know where they like to go etc

But, oh dear, if you can't work out without it being pointed out to you, that going to an all inclusive with one placid 18 month old is different to taking 3 under 7yos to a self-catering then you probably need to try thinking a little harder.

PotOfViolas · 03/11/2025 17:39

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:28

She hasn't struggled to understand, she has shared her own experience, she is allowed to do that. The world doesn't revolve around your rigid beliefs.

The OP? Her thread is "To not understand the "holidays with small children is just parenting in a different place" complaints?"

TheFallenMadonna · 03/11/2025 17:37

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:14

When did you start camping with you babies?

I love camping and usually go four or five times a year but haven't gone since having my daughter because I'm scared of her freezing to death sleeping outside 🙈 I'd love to take her for an adventure in the tent!

4 months was the earliest I think. Easiest age tbh!

SleepingStandingUp · 03/11/2025 17:36

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 15:55

I really don't see what your point is actually.

We wanted it, we got it, we thoroughly enjoyed it.

Maybe the people who complain about family holidays need to see eachother less so they appreciate eachother more, is that the point?

Can you not see though that your holiday feels so great because a. It's all inclusive so you do less home work stuff b. You get barely any family time outside of holidays. Although if you only work 4 days, surely you have three days with DD?

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:35

This reply has been deleted

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Rtmhwales · 03/11/2025 17:35

I have 5 kids and still find holidays enjoyable. They’re 11, 9, 7, 1 and 0 and we go away twice a year. When the boys were 6/4/2 and so on we still went away and enjoyed it. So I don’t think saying “come back when your kids are older/you have more” is necessarily accurate for everybody.

nomas · 03/11/2025 17:33

Modernsoul · 03/11/2025 17:26

Look around @nomas
you are something of an outlier with your unwavering support for the Op
understatement

An outlier? Here are posts from people who agreed with the OP, from the first page alone.

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I'm with you OP. The "same shit different location" was never my experience. The different location is the point. We don't get to do quite as much on our holidays as they used to because we can't reasonably make the DC walk so far or prioritise another museum over some extra pool time.

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I’m with you, op. I think the key is that you have to adjust your expectations- if your idea of a holiday is drinking margaritas by the pool all day or clubbing or reading on the beach for hours then obviously some things will have to change. It’s a different sort of holiday.

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I think some people just don't enjoy parenting. That isn't their fault - nobody really knows how they're going to feel about it until they find themselves in that position. And if you don't like parenting, then you're not going to enjoy it any more in a different country, I suppose.
I was fortunate enough to find that I loved being a mum, and having time with our dd on holiday was nothing but a pleasure, but I get that it's a grind for some people, wish is a shame. Hopefully, some will find it more enjoyable as their dc get older.

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I absolutely love holidays with my kids too but I never took them abroad until they were over 3 and a large age gap meant I only ever had one pre school age at a time which was much easier. Of course they weren’t perfect but on the whole the balance was much more positive than negative.

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You’re a parent wherever you go, on holiday or not. Who actually expects it to be different? If you don’t enjoy it, don’t go, and if you don’t want to be a parent, don’t be one. Holidays with small children aren’t always relaxing - that’s not news.

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Loved taking my kid places when she was 18months old and under - it is not easy with a 3/4 year old - especially as people say when you go self catering. Every kid is different but ours gets so excited she won’t go to bed easily for the first few nights and just runs up and down hyper until about 11pm. Then she is cranky in the day and having tantrums over tiny things - she also wants all of the treats all of the time and won’t accept no for an answer.

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Some people resent having children, and if they can't have the same holidays than before, they moan. There's also a certain category of people who must have a routine to the minute, want to put their kids to bed at 4 in the afternoon (and then complain the kids are up at 5am 😂)
I find time on holidays much easier with children, from pretty much birth

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A lot of people seem to hate parenting, OP, and much prefer staying home to work to going on holiday where they have to be wit their children more. You enjoyed it because you enjoy your child.. And I'm glad you did! You'll have lots of lovely holidays

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I went to Greece with my daughter when she was a year old. She was fine except for one moment on the beach, when we had to leave. When we arrived in hotel she had a huge smile on her face and had done the most humongous nappy job ever. Well, that texplained the screaming, poor mite. I was really proud of her.

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I first took mine abroad when they were 5 and 22 months. Self catering. Two weeks in Canaries and we had an absolute blast.

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I personally love holidays with my children but I don't go with expectations. As long as they are having fun I'm happy.

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I've always enjoyed holidays with DS, from a baby to older. That includes caravan parks in the UK, SC abroad, AI abroad, long haul, Short haul, cruises. I'm definitely not what someone would call a natural mother either 🤣 so I personally don't get it what people say it's not worth bothering going on holiday with kids.

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Agree OP. We had 2/3 holidays a year either DS from age of 14 months to 15 years and never ever felt it was just parenting in a different place. We really had so many fabulous trips.

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I’m with you OP, i appreciate maybe we were lucky but she was great on holiday, went to sleep fine and we sat on the balcony, some evenings slept in the pushchair at the bar (sat away from the stage etc so not too loud)

NerrSnerr · 03/11/2025 17:32

LadyGreyjoy · 03/11/2025 17:25

No.

I can't understand why people think that doing the same parenting that they do at home but in a different place makes it's a waste of time going to a different place.

If your kid can't cope going somewhere new, so you're not just doing the same parenting in a different place you're actually trying to placate a demon that is obviously different.

You're the one lacking in intelligence because you can't understand that.

I think you’re underestimating the number of children who will find the change in routine/ food/ sleep hard. It’s not saying that holidays are still
not fun, but very hard work to keep the children happy and regulated.