In laws telling DD she would never make it to university.

When I was at Primary School the 11+ had been abolished and there were no SATS, but anyone looking at my Maths and English, particulary my teachers, wouldn't have thought I'd be going to Uni. This continued for the first couple of years of secondary school.
From the the third year though I improved, did well at GCSE, did A-levels (not so well), but the University I applied to said 'that's okay, you can come on the HND instead' which I did, then after the HND did a 'top-up' year to get the degree.
Ignore your relatives.

.

https://uk.yahoo.com/style/mom-livid-discovering-mother-law-093000154.html

This made it on the news ...

How's that for support and knocking of confidence!!! I would be going ape shit at this, children need encouragement in this world.... I left school with no GCSEs or A levels but guess what, I went to uni and now a nurse for the NHS after gaining qualifications later on in life. Now I know that its best to gain these qualifications earlier than I did, but instead, I raised my children and then concentrated on myself.
Grandma should telling her that she can do anything she puts her mind to, because she can. Uni IS expensive, but there's student loans there for that reason.
My parents dint have a pot to piss in, so I worked and put myself through uni. There's always a way. But support and encouragement is better than money to a child's self belief. Grandma should no her place

You said it! She is 11! That is SO young in the grand scheme of things. I have friends who never went to uni or got Alevels as stuff went wrong at that time in their lives and both dyslexic. They are both now CFOs and very rich.

Your MIL is talking crap. And to do that to her own granddaughter shows her ignorance. She probably thinks she is saving her pain. But it’s important to teach your daughter to persevere and stick at things. Resilience it’s important and she is already showing that.

Most people don’t realise either that intelligence isn’t fixed. SATs measure what you have learnt aswell not academic potential. Use CATs for potential. Your daughter has been through a lot. I hope she gets all the psychological support she may need aswell especially with negative doom sayers like that. I hope she powers through.
sounds like you are a good mum and will gently encourage .

Wtaf? Just to give you hope. I am super super clever. Except most of the time you can't tell because I'm also a bit scary. It's only when talking to people (like your mil) I suddenly realise so many other people are not that clever. I wasn't clever until I was about 20. People I went to uni with still can't believe I can do my job because 'you weren't that clever'. Actually they are not that clever. But it literally took my brain 8 years to catch up.
I got 4s and 3s in my sats. Dunno what that means now but it wasn't great then!! My eldest is the same. Getting pigeon holed at 8! She's clever. Just not in the way they want her to be.
Your mil isn't clever if she can't think laterally. She's an academic snob. (And I'm one too but honestly a PhD ain't that hard so get off your high horse!) She can absolutely do this.
I also find when my MIL gets upset at GC not doing as well as her friends - well the ND didn't just come from me and it's your genes too.

@Getbackinyourlane12
One good thing about the Occupational Therapy degree is that there is no exams. There are a lot of placement hours. Dd did her placements in a Prison! ,Alzeimers ward, stroke unit, finally a 3 month paediatric unit in Belgium.

The grandparents can see her next at her university graduation. NC till then.

@Getbackinyourlane12

Wow! Those SATS scores, with what your daughter had to battle through, are bloody brilliant... & I know because I'm a Primary School yr6 Teacher!

How a child performs in their SATS is absolutely not an indicator of future academic/career success; your in-laws are mean, ignorant assholes!

Your daughter has grit & determination - that will serve her far better in life that knowing what a fronted adverbial is or how to divide fractions!!

Keep telling her she's awesome & can achieve whatever she sets her mind to. Limit her exposure to her small-minded, cruel grandparents. How dare they crush her spirit like that. 😡🤬

I sincerely hope that you're joking about being a teacher. If not, I find it absolutely terrifying that attitudes like yours exist within our children's education system. It would certainly explain why so many disabled (visible & invisible) children are completely failed by schools.

It really doesn't matter what DD got in her Sats, GPs should always be supportive and encouraging, she is 11 years old for goodness sake. It's great that she already has this ambition and whether or not it happens years down the line is not the point. Her GPs should be giving her confidence and telling her that she has the ability to achieve her dreams if she really puts her mind to it and telling her how special she is. Not undermining her and upsetting her. Sounds like she has had plenty of trauma in her life and needs family who support and uplift her, not put her down.

Your MIL is disgusting and her behaviour is abusive. I wouldn’t send my child there anymore. Who says she can’t be an OT, how ridiculous of your MIL. I would go nuts at her if it were me.

This is really lovely! You are such an important kind and positive influence on your grandchildren. I really wish my child had this from his GPs, but they are sadly just not up to it.

This might be a good time to explain that you don’t have to listen to people who put you down.
I did see quote along the lines of “if the person criticising you isn’t where you want to be, they aren’t worth taking advice from.”

It’s unreal how so many people in life are judged isn't it. I feel for you and feel your rage. Let’s hope they live long enough to be proven so very wrong! These comments only make you stronger/work harder. Turn it around to be a positive. A Mum usually knows best. If only ‘they’d listen’. You needed understanding not to be batted down. Ps I understand the health issues but too.
Never posted before. U made me sign up.

So wrong of them
Your dear 11 year old will be so grateful to have you. It only makes you withdraw from the people who are so negative/not helpful.

‘Don’t speak unless you have something nice to say’ Tell in laws that!

It’s unreal how so many people in life are judged isn't it. I feel for you and feel your rage. Let’s hope they live long enough to be proven so very wrong! These comments only make you stronger/work harder. Turn it around to be a positive. A Mum usually knows best. If only ‘they’d listen’. You needed understanding not to be batted down. Ps I understand the health issues but too.
Never posted before. U made me sign up.

So wrong of them
Your dear 11 year old will be so grateful to have you. It only makes you withdraw from the people who are so negative/not helpful.

‘Don’t speak unless you have something nice to say’

OP, I am so angry on your DD's behalf! Your MIL is the dimwit I'm afraid. Not to go into specifics but my DS is ND and started secondary school with bad sats as well. I kept (and still keep) telling him and my other DC that life's a marathon, not a sprint. It's great your DD has a goal. Eye on the prize and she'll get there. There may be set backs, challenges etc but eventually she'll achieve what she wants. My DS is now doing his PhD in his chosen field at one of the top 5 unis in the world. You would not have forecast this aged 11. Big hug to your DD.

My youngest son had lots of time off school with ill health. He became proficient at being able to talk in an adult environment and made the most of what education he did get. Successfully went to uni and has a well established career in games design. At one point we never even thought he would work full time. Now in his early 40's he earns more than me and his dad ever did. Don't let anyone write your daughter off, but keep those relationships going. It will teach your daughter how to rise above these situations and believe in herself. Good luck

107 is an acceptable score. The others suggest she may be a tiny bit behind academically.

I think the emphasis is the need to work hard to close the gap. Get her reading and talking to you about what she's read. I would also invest in the CGP Workbook for Maths as she can have a go at the questions and you can help with anything she doesn't know. The Y7 one is actually easier than SATs in my opinion for some areas! Get the Statutory Y3 and 4, and Y5 and 6, spellings off the internet and work to learn them. This can make a huge difference to grades.

I might have missed this @Getbackinyourlane12 but I hope you’ve overtly told your daughter that her granny was talking rubbish and how profoundly you disagree with what she said?

Being very plain about it.

You sound an amazing mum and I’m sure your daughter will achieve wonderful things. Have you looked up Georgia Vine? She’s a young OT with CP.

Outrageous. Total lack of emotional intelligence. The reason the national 11+ exam in UK schools was abolished was because many children didn't realise their potential until their mid teens. The woman is an idiot. Your poor DD 😕

I do wish people wouldn't use 'learning' when they mean education. Sorry, nothing to do with OP's post, but so irritating.

DS1 got poor SAT results and was struggling at 11. At 18 he got 3 x As at A Level and is at a Russel.Group University doing a competitive degree.
11 year olds grow up.
Believe in her and tell Granny she was out of line

M.I.L doesn't understand that there are many routes to success these days. It no longer follows that Nursery/Primary/Secondary / University is the be all and end all of success. Your daughter's experience with healthcare will give her a tremendous advantage if she seeks a role in health services. As long as you know what skills [not just scores] are required then she is well on the way to achieving her dream. As for Granny, don't let her split the relationship between the cousins, by comparing them to each other. Could you make sure you let them meet up on home turf? Granny won't be around forever, but Cousins make excellent mates in adulthood. With online communications these days the kids can be friends, even if miles apart, in an instant. No need to rely on waiting for the post to keep up with one an other.

They are wrong. At that age my dad had just died and my educational level plummeted and didn't really pick back up until I was 14 and didn't really get to a positive level until I was 16. I got 11 O levels, 5 A and S levels, and a 1st class degree. At 11 everything is still to play for and what makes the difference is encouragement and enablement.