Joys of small family Christmas

We spend Christmas with just the 4 of us and have done since DC1 was born.

Mostly out of necessity - one side of the family is in another country, the other side is 2 hours away but multiple family members work on Christmas Day.

Neither of us ever travelled at Christmas as children and we wanted our children to always wake up in their own home on Christmas Day (as we did).

Before kids, we spent years travelling to spend Christmas with family. It cost an absolute fortune trying to keep everyone happy and frankly, it was a bit miserable for us.

Our Christmas is lovely - we've built our own traditions and we don't have to worry about anyone but our own children. We take it at a slow pace, go out for a walk in the afternoon and have a takeaway so that we aren't spending hours cooking.

I don't regret a thing - the rest of our life is so busy and pressured and it's wonderful to slow down and have a day to focus entirely on our own family.

It was always just the four of us for Christmas as a child. Which was fine.

DH and I generally had some combo of his siblings and my mum and his dad for years. Both our parents the died and he has fallen out with his siblings. Last year was the first we had just him me and the kids. I was dreading it but it was fine really chilled.

All the instagram nonsense about how it’s going to be MANIC and the “overwhelm” of going to a nativity and a Christmas fair does my head in. Also for some people those are the only social/ Christmas things they do so people whinging on about what a drag they are gets on my nerves!!

I love a quiet, small Christmas. I've done all the running around and when I was little had to be dragged away to go to my nannas with the whole family. There was like 30 of us, seen as though my mum is one of 8.

Now I see my mum and her partner before and after Xmas. Xmas day is me, dh our two boys and the cat. My MIL then pops over for the afternoon for a few hours. Love it. TV, games, food and NBA basketball 🏀

Maybe you should've skipped this thread then. I'm not the Thread Police but the OP did say

I just wanted to put a post where those that have small families or have small Christmas's can post about the positives and happiness of them.

I hate it. No siblings, no cousins, I have to host my difficult mother every year. Sad for my kids that they miss out.

We have had a small family Christmas since we got married. it was just us until we had our daughter. We see the one half of our family on Christmas Eve and the other on boxing day. Christmas day is for relaxing, opening gifts, and stuffing our faces.

I'm really, really hoping it's just me and DH this year! We always travel around to family / in laws etc but so far nobody has mentioned us going to them or coming to us which I am absolutely delighted about 😬(believe me, both our families are very out-spoken so if they wanted to do something they would let us know 😆).

If it is just us then I'm thinking a nice meal on Christmas Eve - maybe crab or prawns to start with and then steak and chips followed by a sticky toffee pudding 😍Then Christmas Day, a lovely lie in before a big walk with the dogs, pop into the local pub for an hour at midday to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and then home to a - small and simple - Christmas dinner. Get into our PJs, a couple of nice bottles of wine on the go and lots of nibbles and chocolates.

Right, off to change my phone number so nobody can contact me between now and the 25th December 😂

Wise words @Larrylobstersrollerskate

We have a small family celebration, my DH and I both had unhappy childhoods and dysfunctional families. We use to tolerate all the stress years ago of being forced together with them, but now I’ve broken contact with mine a good few years ago, and his are far away and low contact, we have a nice relaxed day with our older teenage DD. Usually gifts in the morning, a nice dog walk, lovely meal and relax. We all prefer it. We don’t even celebrate on the 25th anymore as we’re not religious, so celebrate Yule/Winter Solstice on the 21st instead. We both had very unhappy memories of Christmas, so rebranding it and creating our own unique family traditions on the shortest day has been better. There’s so much expectation and pressure to have big family gatherings and conform, and many families aren’t straightforward and it causes a lot of anxiety or bad/sad memories. Or people may have smaller families or lost people. I say, just do/enjoy what makes you happy and let go of what is expected.

Large family Christmas are absolute stuff of nightmares for me. I am not from UK and we always did 24th just us, 25th one side of family, 26th second side. All quite chilled small gatherings. Very nice. We aresmall family.
Never under why some people on MN thimk small Christmas are sad, but I guess it's just what they are used to.
Now it's just dh and i this year again. Love it

I have a small family, aunts and uncles and cousins don’t live nearby (mine or DDs), so Christmas growing up was me, parents and 3 grandparents, which is the same as DD has now. Biggest Christmas I’ve hosted was pre DD and there were 8 of us, biggest Christmas I’ve been to was about 13 and I didn’t really like it, not sure if that was because of the number of people or just that it was a different way of doing things to how we did them. We usually see friends in our local pub before Christmas dinner and then see them again on Boxing Day or the day after so DD gets plenty of time with kids her own age.

We have Christmas just the 4 of us most years and don't even see wider family on Boxing day or Christmas eve as they don't live close to us.

I used to be sad about it but I've since reframed it. It's actually really nice to be able to eat what we want (not Turkey!) when we want, watch what we want on TV, go out for a walk if we feel like it when we feel like it and play cards or games we like without feeling obliged to do what others want.

It's all about framing it positively even for smaller families than ours. I feel sad for people who don't see anyone at Christmas though, unless that's their choice or unless they have managed to find a way to enjoy the day too with special treats etc.

I much prefer a small Christmas, just me, DH and the kids. We went away last year and it was the best Christmas we have ever had. No stressing about family visiting, hosting people, juggling divorced parents and logistics of who comes when.

We can't go away this year but we've reserved 2 days that is just for us, we are not having any visitors, we will be eating pizza and party food for Christmas dinner and playing games, watching a Christmas film and just relaxing. I can't wait!

This will be the 3rd year in a row that DH and I have been abroad on holiday at Christmas time- suits us fine!

My parents like Christmas alone and they go out with my sister, BIL and adult niece on 26th.

I LOVE a small family Christmas. When DD was born we made a decision that rather than travel and deal with conflict over where to go, Christmas day would always just be the three of us, and we'd visit people around it.

I love how chilled out it is. We make the rules, we pick the food, we decide if/when we get dressed and what we do. We've spent a couple of Christmases away on holiday and it's been perfect.

Only child perks: when DD is an adult we'll follow her lead. If she wants us there at Christmas, we'll go to her. If she wants to do Christmas just as her little family unit, we'll go on holiday ☀️

I love a busy Christmas season but absolutely love a quiet Christmas Day with my teens.

I've done big, medium and small and enjoyed them all.

Nowadays it's just DH, DD and me on Xmas Day. We love it - it's all about the quality of the people, not quantity. Same as food!

I love a small, calm christmas.

My DH and I love seeing the DGS but we also love having a Christmas just the 2 of us so we tend to go to each DS (different years) and then have a Christmas with just us.

You get to focus your attention on your immediate family rather than spreading yourself thinly between loads of people.
Your immediate family are there with you rather than the DC off with the other DC and your partner chatting with your BiL.
The day can accommodate the preferences of those who matter most to you rather than being dominated by the biggest personalities or the greater good.

Where is evidence of this "general theme" ?

I don't see it.

I've never seen any evidence on here of people pitying others who only have "small" Christmasses, In fact people don't seem to talk too much about how "big" their Christmasses are at all. They moan about various stuff. MIL interfering. DP doing nothing. But nobody is listing costs, number of relatives, weight of turkey in kgs etc and claiming their Christmas is superior.

For the first 10ish years after I met OH we'd always spend it with his sister & her family, plus gps when they were alive. Then 10 years ago OH & dsis fell out & didn't speak so it was just the 4 of us. Bit weird at first but I grew to absolutely love it particularly when the dds were older. Getting up when I want, staying in pj's until whenever, relaxing, not having to rush around or tidy up for anyone & lots of alcohol! Now they're all back in our lives & OH has volunteered for them to come to ours (OH & DDs would definitely do a lot of the work). But I kind of would rather it was just us still. It is literally the 1 day I can do nothing, apart from help with the lunch & tidy up after. Even if they host, one of us would have to drive. And id gave to get dressed 🤣

I’ve done both throughout my childhood teen years and adulthood. I only have one sibling so have done a 4 person Christmas.

i bloody love a huge Christmas, sometimes ours have been 16-20 people. I have step siblings and lots of cousins too.
the bigger the better !!!

For me the not having to travel is a big part of it.

A few years ago a bigger family Christmas was off the cards very last minute (we just found out we’d just been in contact with Covid, and there were going to be vulnerable guests).

So on the evening of Christmas Eve, having just arrived at DD’s, with a car full of food and presents, we had to unload it all (keeping some of the food for us) and bugger off back home for a Christmas with just me and dh.

Must say I was surprised to realise how much I really didn’t mind! A nice peaceful day.

With vulnerable guests gone, we went back to DD’s for Boxing Day.