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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it’s a bit unreasonable that children have to have fruit for school snack.

282 replies

MyLittleLove1 · 03/11/2025 07:27

DD’s school have sent a reminder that parents must send their children to school with a fruit snack for morning break. They will not be allowed to have anything else. This is to encourage healthy eating. I do understand this, but my daughter has breakfast at 7 as she is starving when she wakes up, and feel that a piece of fruit isn’t really that substantial for a snack. She would normally have fruit and a snack like some malt loaf. I feel a little against this also because there is so much to having a healthy diet. Many foods are healthy and make a great, filling snack. Why are we being policed on this? Or am I BU?

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 03/11/2025 11:25

MyLittleLove1 · 03/11/2025 10:50

I haven’t read the full thread since my first post, but a few things I want to explain in case they are relevant.

Both of my children are very slim. They are very active and so I suppose their growing bodies need lots of calories. My children don’t attend the same school, and thank goodness for that, as my eldest is rarely hungry in the mornings. I do ensure she has something before school, but sometimes I’ll be lucky if that’s half a slice of toast. She then tends to eat something substantial at break time and then a decent sized lunch. As I said in my OP, my youngest wakes up starving, and she usually has overnight oats with some fruit. She is then full and I would struggle for her to eat something else before school due to how filling her breakfast is. However, with just a piece of fruit for snack (even a banana), she finds herself starving.

I understand that the school have the children’s best interests at heart, but anecdotally, fruit as a morning snack doesn’t really work for either of my children. Placing restrictions around food will often have the opposite effect when it comes to promoting a healthy diet. I feel like my child is being penalised because other parents aren’t offering their child a balanced diet. In the nicest possible way, that’s really not my issue. It’s obvious that this country has got “healthy eating” wrong, by the level of obesity. And that’s with most adults on this thread having had a fruit snack during their school days or no snack at all.

If my child benefits from something more substantial to feel satiated throughout the morning, why is that against the rules? I just think it’s bonkers and don’t think it’s the schools right to dictate or control my child’s food and eating habits.

I think you sound obsessed with your own child, with no appreciation of the fact that a school has to cater to hundreds of other students. Plus completely lacking in self awareness- malt loaf is cake!

The school has every right to police what is eaten on its own premises and some are far more strict. There are schools where all snacks and packed lunches are banned and eating a school meal is compulsory. There are schools which only serve vegetarian food. They don’t do this for shits and giggles they do it because they think that’s what’s best for the children. If you don’t agree, move schools.

Plus in most cases schools have tried a light touch approach and seen some students sent in with a McDonalds or cold fish and chips plus coke and a mars bar. What do you suggest in these situations? You have control of your childrens’ food choices for 90% of the time (when they are at home), but at school it’s their rules that apply and for you to work with them.

EvelynBeatrice · 03/11/2025 11:20

I agree largely with the PP. You follow the school rules. It’s a bit hypocritical of me I admit since the middle child did have a surreptitious digestive occasionally in loo if she felt faint, but it was surreptitious! ‘Hypocrisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue’. I felt that her being able to work effectively was better than going hungry and feeling faint and she really looked and felt awful when hungry - a very slight child.

Lucy5678 · 03/11/2025 11:15

MyLittleLove1 · 03/11/2025 10:50

I haven’t read the full thread since my first post, but a few things I want to explain in case they are relevant.

Both of my children are very slim. They are very active and so I suppose their growing bodies need lots of calories. My children don’t attend the same school, and thank goodness for that, as my eldest is rarely hungry in the mornings. I do ensure she has something before school, but sometimes I’ll be lucky if that’s half a slice of toast. She then tends to eat something substantial at break time and then a decent sized lunch. As I said in my OP, my youngest wakes up starving, and she usually has overnight oats with some fruit. She is then full and I would struggle for her to eat something else before school due to how filling her breakfast is. However, with just a piece of fruit for snack (even a banana), she finds herself starving.

I understand that the school have the children’s best interests at heart, but anecdotally, fruit as a morning snack doesn’t really work for either of my children. Placing restrictions around food will often have the opposite effect when it comes to promoting a healthy diet. I feel like my child is being penalised because other parents aren’t offering their child a balanced diet. In the nicest possible way, that’s really not my issue. It’s obvious that this country has got “healthy eating” wrong, by the level of obesity. And that’s with most adults on this thread having had a fruit snack during their school days or no snack at all.

If my child benefits from something more substantial to feel satiated throughout the morning, why is that against the rules? I just think it’s bonkers and don’t think it’s the schools right to dictate or control my child’s food and eating habits.

This is the problem with parents and schools these days. School absolutely does have the right to dictate food your child may or may not eat while at school - so long as government policies, safeguarding requirements, medical needs, reasonable adjustments for disabilities etc are all taken account of. Same as they can dictate what the uniform is, when your child can go to the toilet, what items they can bring onto the premises, what sport they do in PE and all sorts of other things. It’s the reality of mass education that there have to be rules and those might not suit all the children and parents all the time. School isn’t going to prioritise the minor preferences of your particular child over the best interests of the entire cohort.

If you don’t like it your options include making appropriate representations to the headteacher to change the rule (which I doubt will happen given it’s a common and normal rule with sensible rationale behind it), finding a different school with policies you prefer or home education.

EvelynBeatrice · 03/11/2025 11:13

I’m proud to have raised my children to research things from reputable sources and follow the science - and to ignore rules that are not fact and science based, surreptitiously if necessary!

Institutions like schools have to impose rules that work for the lowest common denominator. They won’t work for everyone.

Rooroobear · 03/11/2025 11:12

At least your school does snack. Ours don’t. I don’t think she’ll starve

Blondeshavemorefun · 03/11/2025 11:12

If she is starving at 7 then a later tea /or a small supper before bed might work and then breakfast 730/8 depending when leave for school

7am my dd is still fast asleep and some days have to wake at 745/8 - like today. So had a quick B and walked to school 25mins later at 8.25

I get what you are saying about being hungry but often hungry is thirst

many kids can’t tell the diff and if have B and fruit they should manage to cope till lunch

so does she drink lots of water ?

kids didn’t used to have constant snacks inbetween meals and the 3 basic breakfast lunch tea

kids should be able to survive a meal at 7. Fruit at 10 and lunch 12 ish

if your dd has to have B at 7 then maybe she can munch on a slice of toast /bagel /dry cereal /cereal bar on way to school

agree with the poster that kids won’t keel over if feel a little hungry

or up her snack and 2 x fruit so banana and grapes - or pineapple and strawberries

EvelynBeatrice · 03/11/2025 11:11

GameOfJones · 03/11/2025 11:03

And we wonder why we have an obesity epidemic in this country. Teaching your child to smuggle in biscuits and eat them in secret in the toilets?! I was obese and a secret eater with huge food issues and a lot of internalised shame.....your approach sounds like a guaranteed way to ensure the same for your kids.

Show quote history

I think your experiences affect your view naturally enough. None of my family or the grandparents have ever been overweight or had any form of food issue. We eat when we’re hungry and stop when we’ve had enough - sometimes a bit earlier as we’ve all been educated to understand that it can take a bit of time for your brain to register that you’ve had enough.

I was brought up to believe that no foods are bad and everything in moderation. We all naturally opt for a healthier diet and restrict low and processed food types as that’s what we’re used to and feel best eating. Food issues are often inherited. We’re all relaxed about food.

Youraveragelass · 03/11/2025 11:08

This was a rule in my school 25 years ago! We all survived 😊

Digdongdoo · 03/11/2025 11:07

MyLittleLove1 · 03/11/2025 11:04

In my example, i said she would normally have fruit and malt loaf. Malt loaf (plus butter) and a banana is significantly more satiating than an apple/tangerine or banana. Also, DD wouldn’t particularly enjoy having the same snack every day and many fruits are not as filling as a banana.

Show quote history

Try skipping the fruits in her breakfast then. More oats or some protein instead.
If you really think fruit doesn't fill her up, don't give it to her for breakfast.

Original poster
MyLittleLove1 · 03/11/2025 11:06

GameOfJones · 03/11/2025 11:03

And we wonder why we have an obesity epidemic in this country. Teaching your child to smuggle in biscuits and eat them in secret in the toilets?! I was obese and a secret eater with huge food issues and a lot of internalised shame.....your approach sounds like a guaranteed way to ensure the same for your kids.

Show quote history

I don’t think a child eating a snack in a loo is a good idea in any way, shape or form, but this issue is deriving from restrictions being placed around food in the first place, and the child not being allowed to eat more than their fruit unless they do so in secret.

OP posts:
GameOfJones · 03/11/2025 11:05

So give her some carrot sticks as well as the banana/apple/orange whatever?

Original poster
MyLittleLove1 · 03/11/2025 11:04

Digdongdoo · 03/11/2025 11:00

But your example of some malt loaf isn't actually going to be any more filling than a banana. Are you sure she would be starving? It might just be a mental thing, because there's no real reason for what is essentially a small piece of cake to feel more substantial than a banana.

Show quote history

In my example, i said she would normally have fruit and malt loaf. Malt loaf (plus butter) and a banana is significantly more satiating than an apple/tangerine or banana. Also, DD wouldn’t particularly enjoy having the same snack every day and many fruits are not as filling as a banana.

OP posts:
GameOfJones · 03/11/2025 11:03

EvelynBeatrice · 03/11/2025 10:23

I sent fruit but also a couple of digestives or what I thought appropriate which were consumed discreetly if needed in loo 😬Not all people can eat at ordered times first thing in the morning.

And we wonder why we have an obesity epidemic in this country. Teaching your child to smuggle in biscuits and eat them in secret in the toilets?! I was obese and a secret eater with huge food issues and a lot of internalised shame.....your approach sounds like a guaranteed way to ensure the same for your kids.

HeartyViper · 03/11/2025 11:01

Assuming she has her lunch at usual school time 12pm or 12:30pm, a fruit is substantial enough to tide her over. Perhaps pack a banana? Does the school offer milk still?

Doobedobe · 03/11/2025 11:01

We never had snacks when I was at school. I dont think they really need a snack tbh. I think its just to cover if any kids have missed breakfast or are actually really hungry, had a tiny breakfast etc.
Most kids can live fine with breakfast and then make it to lunch without a snack.
Saying fruit only just helps the school to manage snack time. Ensure kids arent bouncing up the walls as their snack was a chocolate cookie or there ends up being a snack tier system whereby some kids parents buy them crisps and a penguine and they flaunt it all ovet rh playground and others have a dried apricot.
My kid eats a lot but i am sure they could live without a snack time.

Digdongdoo · 03/11/2025 11:00

MyLittleLove1 · 03/11/2025 10:50

I haven’t read the full thread since my first post, but a few things I want to explain in case they are relevant.

Both of my children are very slim. They are very active and so I suppose their growing bodies need lots of calories. My children don’t attend the same school, and thank goodness for that, as my eldest is rarely hungry in the mornings. I do ensure she has something before school, but sometimes I’ll be lucky if that’s half a slice of toast. She then tends to eat something substantial at break time and then a decent sized lunch. As I said in my OP, my youngest wakes up starving, and she usually has overnight oats with some fruit. She is then full and I would struggle for her to eat something else before school due to how filling her breakfast is. However, with just a piece of fruit for snack (even a banana), she finds herself starving.

I understand that the school have the children’s best interests at heart, but anecdotally, fruit as a morning snack doesn’t really work for either of my children. Placing restrictions around food will often have the opposite effect when it comes to promoting a healthy diet. I feel like my child is being penalised because other parents aren’t offering their child a balanced diet. In the nicest possible way, that’s really not my issue. It’s obvious that this country has got “healthy eating” wrong, by the level of obesity. And that’s with most adults on this thread having had a fruit snack during their school days or no snack at all.

If my child benefits from something more substantial to feel satiated throughout the morning, why is that against the rules? I just think it’s bonkers and don’t think it’s the schools right to dictate or control my child’s food and eating habits.

But your example of some malt loaf isn't actually going to be any more filling than a banana. Are you sure she would be starving? It might just be a mental thing, because there's no real reason for what is essentially a small piece of cake to feel more substantial than a banana.

zebrastripesarefun · 03/11/2025 10:59

Restricting to fruit only is ridiculous. Policing this is so unnecessary. Plenty of healthy things rather than fruit. Parents should make the choice what their children should have to eat.

DingDongJingle · 03/11/2025 10:54

Another point is that on these threads, there are many adults mentioning that they didn’t snack as children, they were often ravenous etc and it didn’t do them any harm.
Adult obesity is at its highest ever level. The food habits learned in childhood has contributed to these high obesity levels. I don’t think we can say ‘we did this as kids and were much healthier than today’s kids’, when those same kids are today’s obese adults.

DingDongJingle · 03/11/2025 10:51

EvelynBeatrice · 03/11/2025 10:44

I don’t have an issue with snacking. Why must people consume all the calories they need at set times of day in a certain form and location? That doesn’t work for everyone. I appreciate that it’s more convenient.

I’m a sensible adult who is educated in nutrition. None of my children have ever been overweight or unhealthy. I understand what they need. They don’t work well when hungry and my priority is their wellbeing and educational progress. So I always paid lip service and showed open compliance with school rules while doing what I thought was best including surreptitious snacks if necessary.

And after school I found that my son in particular when very small was appallingly ‘hangry’ to his detriment unless fed a small something immediately after school which provided energy for play park and good run about on way home and to fuel homework pre nutritious dinner.

I agree with this entirely.
Children concentrate, perform and behave better when adequately nourished. If it suits a child better to have their daily calories spread throughout the day rather than at 3 distinct meal times, why is that an issue?
I was a very slim child, but couldn’t force myself to eat a large meal so functioned far better if I had a mid morning and mid afternoon snack. My overall calorie consumption was no more than someone’s who had 3 meals and no snacks.

Original poster
MyLittleLove1 · 03/11/2025 10:50

I haven’t read the full thread since my first post, but a few things I want to explain in case they are relevant.

Both of my children are very slim. They are very active and so I suppose their growing bodies need lots of calories. My children don’t attend the same school, and thank goodness for that, as my eldest is rarely hungry in the mornings. I do ensure she has something before school, but sometimes I’ll be lucky if that’s half a slice of toast. She then tends to eat something substantial at break time and then a decent sized lunch. As I said in my OP, my youngest wakes up starving, and she usually has overnight oats with some fruit. She is then full and I would struggle for her to eat something else before school due to how filling her breakfast is. However, with just a piece of fruit for snack (even a banana), she finds herself starving.

I understand that the school have the children’s best interests at heart, but anecdotally, fruit as a morning snack doesn’t really work for either of my children. Placing restrictions around food will often have the opposite effect when it comes to promoting a healthy diet. I feel like my child is being penalised because other parents aren’t offering their child a balanced diet. In the nicest possible way, that’s really not my issue. It’s obvious that this country has got “healthy eating” wrong, by the level of obesity. And that’s with most adults on this thread having had a fruit snack during their school days or no snack at all.

If my child benefits from something more substantial to feel satiated throughout the morning, why is that against the rules? I just think it’s bonkers and don’t think it’s the schools right to dictate or control my child’s food and eating habits.

OP posts:
EvelynBeatrice · 03/11/2025 10:44

I don’t have an issue with snacking. Why must people consume all the calories they need at set times of day in a certain form and location? That doesn’t work for everyone. I appreciate that it’s more convenient.

I’m a sensible adult who is educated in nutrition. None of my children have ever been overweight or unhealthy. I understand what they need. They don’t work well when hungry and my priority is their wellbeing and educational progress. So I always paid lip service and showed open compliance with school rules while doing what I thought was best including surreptitious snacks if necessary.

And after school I found that my son in particular when very small was appallingly ‘hangry’ to his detriment unless fed a small something immediately after school which provided energy for play park and good run about on way home and to fuel homework pre nutritious dinner.

Indicateyourintentions · 03/11/2025 10:38

MyLittleLove1 · 03/11/2025 07:27

DD’s school have sent a reminder that parents must send their children to school with a fruit snack for morning break. They will not be allowed to have anything else. This is to encourage healthy eating. I do understand this, but my daughter has breakfast at 7 as she is starving when she wakes up, and feel that a piece of fruit isn’t really that substantial for a snack. She would normally have fruit and a snack like some malt loaf. I feel a little against this also because there is so much to having a healthy diet. Many foods are healthy and make a great, filling snack. Why are we being policed on this? Or am I BU?

She’s hungry not starving. Very few are actually starving in this country.
Are you actually leaving the house at 7? If not give her a second breakfast at 8 high in protein like scrambled eggs; it will keep her satisfied for longer.
Nice medium apple at break time will last her till lunch.

Sgreenpy · 03/11/2025 10:36

I don't understand the snacking culture we have created. Everywhere you go people are constantly eating something.
My time at the school gates is over but I observed that snack straight after school every day was the norm, rather than a weekly or occasional treat. A chocolate bar on a Friday for example.
As PP feeling hungry is a normal response.

Katiesaidthat · 03/11/2025 10:28

MyLittleLove1 · 03/11/2025 07:27

DD’s school have sent a reminder that parents must send their children to school with a fruit snack for morning break. They will not be allowed to have anything else. This is to encourage healthy eating. I do understand this, but my daughter has breakfast at 7 as she is starving when she wakes up, and feel that a piece of fruit isn’t really that substantial for a snack. She would normally have fruit and a snack like some malt loaf. I feel a little against this also because there is so much to having a healthy diet. Many foods are healthy and make a great, filling snack. Why are we being policed on this? Or am I BU?

Absolutely. My daughter´s best friend is given just fruit and is always asking my daughter and other friends for other items in their lunch boxes, especially protein she is starving.