To have a fourth baby at 42?

Go for it, if that’s what you want. There are many first timers older than 42. Good luck, God bless. 💐

Yes, good point and I think it's a significant factor for consideration.

I don't see any hate on this thread. Only measured responses.

Coping with two teenagers when you're mid fifties going through menopause, a no from me!

Age is not on your side here, 42 was my cut off for ttc, multiple miscarriages And a trisomy 15 diagnosis made me realise that I needed to count my blessings and enjoy my family

Wise. A 4th child could have complex needs. This would change the whole dynamics of your lives.

Well my DC2 arrived when I was 45, and DC1 was 5 at the time. I was also very overweight and everything was fine straightforward pregnancy and baby healthy so on that basis I'd say go for it. I only have 2 though and haven't experienced teens yet, so how you would juggle 4 and how much support your older kids would needs I don't know. So I guess it boils down to your finances, do you have enough space at home and do you think you could cope energy wise?

Honestly. OP. I think you and your partner need to make your own minds up. There are always going to be lots of pros and cons in such a big decision but only you know which of the factors are important or relevant to you.

Nothing to do with ableism. You have to think of your ability to raise four children, three of them, potentially with special needs. Is there enough to go around.

You ve only got one.

Ableism is a buzzword thrown around for no reason, but pretty much anyone who has special needs meental or physical is going to struggle in life and that does not an easy life make for thr parents, the children or the whole family. A family that already has two children with significant needs should quit.While they re ahead and focus on making life as easy as possible for the existing children.

Perhaps your other kids dont want to support their sibling or wont want to once theyre adults. You only had one autistic child. What if it had been three? Would you have coped? Probably not.

Have you read the OP's updates where she says that two of her children have extra needs? The chances are that another child will as well.

I would focus on your health as a priority in the interest of your existing kids. So to me as well as losing weight, that would also mean not putting your body through a 4th c section.

And ? My oldest has autism and his siblings did nothing but being a positive influence in his life . So much ableism

Sorry OP, I just saw your update now. Apologies if my reply reads as sticking in the boot in / being unkind, not my intention x

Clearly a hun, who hasn't read the thread.

It's not the size of her family.One of her children has mental health issues, and the youngest is suspected to be autistic.

She'll have to lose a significant amount of weight by january and what if she has another child with special needs. She should quit while she's ahead.

It's nothing to do with the size of the family.

I thought the same ! Seems very unusual behaviour and not the norm at all

I had dc3 at 42 and it has been fine. Had NIPT and she's healthy and is meeting all milestones (aged 3 now). However I was a healthy weight when pg (but still diagnosed with GD - no symptoms and no ongoing problems) and it was my 3rd cs - a 4th often isn't advisable. I've not found it too overwhelming but I only work one day a week and DH is very present so I'm able to spend lots of one to one time with my dcs and also have time for myself.

I was partly on the fence and took the attitude that nature would decide - I didn't track anything, check my cycle or use any supplements, just didn't use contraception. I figured if it didn't happen, then it wasn't meant to be, and it meant I didn't get too stressed over making the decision, because I recognised it wasn't in my hands really.

I think you're pushing it, but it is a totally understandable desire.

If you're over weight, this opens you up to all manner of disease, but also poor quality of life, in a couple of decades.

My overweight mum had me at 30 but is now diabetic, poorly mobile, managing high BP and starting with dementia.

DH's mum had him at 40 but she's fit and active and plays a big role in our / grandkids' lives.

I'd prioritise losing the weight TBH, and then consider another baby

Hun , you do you . MN seems to have a massive issue with big families so even if you were 30 the reply would be the same . To much hate towards anyone having more than 2 kids .

Getting pregnant "early is next year" means you hope to lose how much weight in a couple of months (including the Xmas period)?

So how are you gonna have time for another baby then.

Being early forties with teenagers, I would have thought you wanted your life back rather than having spent your latrc20s, all of your thirties and now all of your forties being pregnant and having babies and raising them.

3 kids
One of the teens already has MH issues - which I’d assume you’d want to be devoting your attention to?
A 4yo with suspected autism.

And you think any of them would benefit from their mum bringing another baby into the mix and needing her attention, just because she doesn’t feel like she’s got ‘enough’???

Honestly, I'd quit while you're ahead and just enjoy the fanily you have. I wouldn't want to push my luck.