Parents hoarding money

But 250k is not a lot of money. It's not as if he's sitting on 25m.

This is very true. Posters are incredibly naive about the cost of: a. reasonable retirement; b. Low level of care, c. FT care. And just how long people can live with illness and infirmity. They seem to think they’re entitled to their parents’ hard-earned and hard-saved money.

My father has exceeded all his medical prognoses and is currently costing 100k pa. My aunt who had dementia, cost 80-90k pa for 10 years - that’s nearly a million.

1. state pension probably won’t exist in a few years
2. people will need to work until they die….but those who’s parents have ‘hoarded’ their own money will inherit money, pension & property from their parents
3. those who have inherited will be able to retire early with a lump sum4.
4. no change from now!
5. Parents…keep hoarding that money!

No wonder so many people are going to struggle in retirement, if you can only see older people holding and managing investments as "hoarding money". There is something really unpleasant about a lot of the posts on this thread, as if once someone hits a certain age they should no longer be entitled to their own property.

I'm not talking about the criticism of bragging etc- no one could defend that- and I'm planning to make substantial gifts to my kids while I'm still alive if all goes well. But there seems to be some real ignorance on here about the level of investments a retired person needs to maintain a reasonable standard of living (even if they don't need care) and a sense that some people expect their parents just to hand over the cash and then die please. Taking as just one example PP above who is outraged that her retired parents are managing their investment returns while she has a large mortgage- you have a mortgage when you're of working age because you can earn money to pay it off. You invest for the future so that when you're retired you can live off your investment returns. Comparing your financial circs at eg 40 with your parents at 70 is completely pointless and makes you sound really dreadful.

You can give what you want as long as it’s done early and whilst you’re healthy, then you won’t be done for deprivation of assets. Where people go wrong is doing it when it’s too late.

Also, no, it isn’t necessarily the case the money will be liable for IHT if the donor dies within seven years because that depends on the amount of the donor’s estate.

@CryMyEyesViolet and this is exactly why I think we need to bring in a 2% totally ringfenced employee NI surcharge after 40 - purely for social care - anyone not working has to make a £10 a week contribution too . The first £80,000 of assets can be used towards care homes or social care at home - after that the insurance kicks in -charge to be put against property too if one person remains in the home. It’s unfair that some people end up on their own , go into care and all their money goes on care , whereas if a partner still at home the other person with no separate assets gets care covered off and paid for .

itcwoukd release more money for local authorities too many of whom are in a dire position no small party due to funding elderly social care .im pretty sure this wasn’t always the local authorities full cost. Other country’s have this kind of long term care system . And please don’t say it only benefits low earners, would protect a lot of people who have tons of assets too .

It won’t. It’s called deprivation of assets and local authorities go back a long way when they check for this. It’s naive in the extreme to think this is the case. Added to which, even if you don’t need care, if you die within seven years of giving it away it’s liable for inheritance tax.

They will - but then you will have no choice in care home. They might be placed somewhere not particularly local, and with not great facilities. Personally I wouldn’t enjoy my parents’ money of if I thought they would then have no choice re care.

A surprising number of people think that you should be able to give all your money away/not have to sell your house and then the state should pay for your care.

No, they won’t because the state will pay,

Then you’ll be fucked if you need care in your old age. You should be delighted your parents are fiscally responsible, it will all be yours eventually if they don’t need to spend it on care.

We are same as you op. DH and I parents don't have a clue... Talk about how to find the best returns for their hoardes of wealth .. while we have a massive mortgage etc. DH and I cannot fathom how they hoard it all... We are going to give our wealth to our dcs to help them. Similar to you x

It sounds as though you have a very well insulated home. We are all high ceilings and a large amount of double glazed glass. I pay £150 every month and do get in credit.

We are £110 a month for energy (although we are always significantly in credit) so that's £1320 for 2 adults, one child and a teenager some of the time. We work entirely from home and keep the house very warm. I'm sure if we spent 8 hrs a day outside the house , didn't keep the heating at 22, and didn't accrue credit every month, it could be £800.

When did people having savings suddenly turn into people 'hoarding money'. What an absolutely awful mindset and way to think. What on earth is wrong with wanting to save money for retirement? People worry about being able to afford quality care, so it's prudent to put money aside for that.

To describe it as hoarding sounds very entitled as though you think your parents should give the money to you because they don't need it, rather than thinking about what their future needs might be.

My mum lived a very frugal life in a low paid job. When she died I was astonished to see how much money she had saved. I didn't at all think that she had been 'hoarding it', I guess she saw her mum end up in a nursing home and how expensive it was and wanted to make sure she would be cared for. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, and awful to describe it as 'hoarding money'.

No one has a right to have their care paid for- that has never been the aim of the welfare state- if you can afford your own care, with cash or assets, then the assumption is that you will and that you should.
Many of these posters expecting help from parents don't seem to realise you fund your own life you raise children and then they fund their own lives- it's the circle of life.
Many of the posters who claim to be "struggling" but they will never have been hungry, had to walk because they can't afford transport, or been cold long term- most every boomer has experienced these things in their lives- what makes these posters feel they have the right to never experience these things? Your parents have a higher standard of living than you, definitely but more than likely you have a far higher standard of living than your parents or grandparents had at your age. Why should people who have worked all their lives and struggled whose children have grown up and finally have a little surplus spend their money on children they have already spent thousands and thousands of pounds on?
They might chose to do so, but there is no reason in the world why the should feel obliged to do so-grow up, the world shifts and changes and comparisons are unhelpful and misleading, be thankful if you get help, but don't expect any.

I’d never want my parents to go without, but equally I’d never want my children or grandchildren to go without either.

YANBU but I doubt he’ll see it that way, unless he’s insightful as to how hard it is for younger generations now. Boasting is certainly bad form though, he may accept that.

I think you might be reaching there 🤣

Oh I agree with you - it’s totally nuts

That's gas only.

3 bedroom 1930's semi
10cm loft insulation
Double glazing

Heating set to 19°C overnight, 20°C daytime, 21°C evening.

We're extending the house at the moment, so bills might go up, but there's loads more insulation so they might go down. 🤷

We're in the USA and dependent on oil for our heating and hot water. We pay monthly to distribute the cost over the year, as we use practically no oil between May and November, but we are paying $279 a month, which converted to £ works out as £2480 a year. Frankly, £800 a year sounds like a bargain to me. On the other hand, we never let the house get that cold - we keep the temperature at about 19C in the winter because we're in Maine and we get a lot of snow and the temperature is usually below freezing during the winter, and frozen pipes cost a hell of a lot more than heating oil. A friend of mine here is currently in Spain and her pipes froze during her absence because they didn't leave the heating on high enough.

I can't imagine what sort of heating costs £800 a year. During the cold spell last month our gas and electricity together came to £275 and it wasn't on 24/7

I know but she's only 57! Lol
She can afford but just struggles to spend on herself....feels she has to save as much as poss ALL the time....it's an affliction x

@EvieBB I think a lot of old people struggle with the concept of spending money to keep warm. It's seen as wasteful spending - literally 'burning money'.

I think it's one of those outgoings where people lose all perspective. We run our heating 24x7 in winter and have a lovely warm house. It costs £800 a year. That's such a small proportion of our income for such a huge increase in quality of life.

I appreciate that not everybody has our income, but huge numbers of pensioners can easily afford £70 per month, but choose to shiver in a freezing house instead.

I think it's a mental illness. My sister is a bit like this.....she just can't spend on herself - her and husband are sat on nearly a million and yet she's had the same bathroom, ensuite shower room and downstairs loo for the last 25 years (that all badly need re-decorating) and pretty much only ever buys discount food from Tesco and works all the overtime going......but maybe that's why amassed so much ££££. Fair enough, but when it gets to the point you're shivering cos you're saving money on the heating then you know you've got a problem (which she does).
I tend not to visit her in winter as her house is too bloody cold then!! 😂