Parents hoarding money

But the OP didn't say she literally had no money and needed to feed her kids or something like that, most of the things mentioned on here are luxuries, like a fucking week off paid for by parents - something that they never will have had either. That's pure entitlement If we were talking about people living in poverty whilst their parents are millionaires, I'd agree, but we're not.

Society here is very fluid. Children leave home set up lives far from their parents so truly struggle. Childcare benefit being missing to start with.

I compare this to friends in Italy who still have a village to raise their children in. Nonna being one generation with children and grandchildren all living in annexes to the original home. I've only seen this once where I live on a family farm.

I'm a millennial and I remember saying around aged 17 to my best friend at school, wouldn't be brilliant if we could achieve a lifestyle like one our parents have. Both of our parents are very comfortable, middle class and living in the Home Counties, with assets, well paid careers etc. Very hard working and well deserved rewards of those labours, and I think they thoroughly deserve good lives and retirements.

My friend just chuckled at my sentiment, and wisely said we'd probably never be on a par with what their lives were. Her sage words were true.

Their beliefs that they shouldn't help out their kids? Righto.

I also think the 1960s up to the late 1980s were an unusual time in British history. Most ordinary people could relatively easily afford housing, and the welfare estate was probably at its height. It is no accident that because of the large amounts of money slushing around the swinging 1960s counterculture took off, and that’s one reason we have the “imbalance”. that we have now. My mother was beyond livid when she had to pay for her TV licence and stopped getting her heating allowance last year. She is very comfortably off, but in her mind pensioners are still little old ladies living in bare attics eating tinned sardines every day for sustenance - and so therefore deserve to be subsidised by young workers on minimum wage. It makes no sense … 🤷‍♀️

No you can't. 😂

Yes, going into a trade is a great option, IF you have the ability. I would be a dreadful tradesperson, I can barely paint a wall well. I'm just not the practical sort. The idea that everyone can just become a tradesperson because it's well paid is so demeaning to tradespeople. I am sure my plasterer would agree when I say that he would not be much good at my job and I would be terrible at his, because we have abilities in completely different areas.

Suggesting that you can "work your way up" without a degree in more academic careers makes you sound out of touch. Even the most basic entry level jobs in those careers now require a degree.

100% this. ^

But it has shaped them as people and their beliefs.

I didn't say it didn't count. I said it didn't impact on their prosperity NOW, in 2025, which is what we're talking about.

If my friend has had her wallet stolen right before we go out for dinner, I am going to help her report it to the police and the bank, pay for her meal, make sure she has some cash to tide her over until she can get a new bank card and see her home safely.

I'm not going to say, "Well, my dog died in tragic circumstances 15 years ago, and that was a lot harder than losing a wallet, so I hardly see why I should help you out now!"

Because the two things are entirely unrelated and my dog dying has no impact on my circumstances today. Doesn't mean that my friend doesn't still express sympathy when my dog comes up in conversation.

Yep. Much better to work hard and support yourself, and not expect handouts from parents, and in-laws, and count the days down until they die, so you can get an inheritance. 🙄

I know several people like this in real life too. Just waiting and waiting for the boomer parents to die so they can get their mitts on the money. I really hope these boomers live another 35 years!

Ok. 👌🏻

Much better to learn a trade or do an apprenticecheap. These are options too. It's a financial decision, but people just feel entitled to do a uni degree. You often don't need one. If you are good you can work your way up. If you want to work in e profession, then uni is a financial decision.

Oh I see,so when we look a the bad things previous generations experienced, it doesn't count or matter, but when we look at the good parts they experienced, such as cheaper property, then it matters so much that they owe it to younger generations to sacrifice themselves now? Interesting.

Look, you can spend you life being angry and bitter than others got dealt a better hand than you did, or you can suck it up and focus on improving your own circumstances and understand that pensioners are fully entitled to save for their future just like you are.

Well then it speaks volumes about you that you can't think anything other than 'awful'. I don't actually think those that don't help are trying to be mean. There is likely some other preoccupation going on.

Mmm personally I think younger people have been given a hard deal generally compared to people who are now 55 years old onwardish. Uni fees housing shortage etc. It cant be blamed on boomers its just the way things are but intergenerational solidarity might help a little.

Some student accommodation is barely habitable. Mould on the walls, freezing cold all year around, exposed wiring, holes in the plasterwork. Would you want to live there for 3 years? I do think that students should live on a budget, it makes them appreciate adult life and a job more, but it shouldn't be living in absolute poverty.

As for singing lessons, or dancing lessons, or whatever other interests they have, those things are now almost a pre-requisite for further education. It always has been for some areas- my brother needed to prove he had a hobby which used his fine motor skills before he could get a place for dentistry, Grade 8 violin sufficed.

So many routes are now highly competitive with multiple students with top grades fighting for each place. It's often the extra-curriculars which separates them out. That's assuming that they don't decide to make a career of it. Look at Taylor Swift- she would never have got where she is if her parents hadn't been committed to helping her succeed, whatever it took, throughout her childhood, and she's followed up on that by working incredibly hard.

Aside from the fact that having passions and interests makes a childhood more enjoyable, builds confidence, and creates social opportunities.

Yes, this is absolutely the case. It’s a well-established economic fact and the Boomers who continue to deny it are deluding themselves.

I’m not talking about myself. My parents still work and aren’t wealthy. They help out with childcare, which is what they can do for us and it’s greatly appreciated.

Others are talking about parents with millions of pounds and COMPLAIN about how difficult this is to whilst their children struggle. I think that is awful and there is nothing I can think of that justifies that behaviour.

There’s a Daily Mail journalist who wrote about his early cub days in Wales, when he first started working as a reporter on a local newspaper. He was in his early 20s I believe. I don’t think he went to university. And he just came from a normal Welsh family, no help or inheritance.

Anyway, as soon as he got his job, he bought a three bedroom house and a garden in a nice street for himself and his stay – at – home-wife and they began to have children. I imagine that this would’ve been in the 1970s. He was just incredulous that this would be a total impossibility today.

There definitely was poverty, especially in the 1950s and early 60s, especially in some cities. But there was a lot of relaxed living as well. Eg. nurseries were free for my mother as a single parent. My best friend at school in South London lived in a big three bedroom terrace house with a garden, 3 siblings, and their parents were on a very modest income (part-time nurse, and a shop worker).

Doesn't ever make sense to me. The more money you have in old age, the more there is for the government to take from you. The government or the care that may be needed.

The wise ones are those who spend it on stuff they enjoy or start giving it away to their children!

Their DC already have it easier than them. The DC just can't see it. All they see is their own struggle and why does daddy not help me. Struggling is hugely subjective, you know. They probably don't think or know that you are. Or they literally don't know how to spend money. As someone who comes from nothing I know it is anxiety inducing. I still cannot spend without a wave of guilt following me around.

Have you spoken to your parent to ask why? What their motiviation is? I guess not. I don't think you are interested. You think it's mean and that is the only layer there is for you.

It's unpleasant to hoard money while your kids and grandkids do without.

Some people do have a deep seated fear of being without cash though and come from poor backgrounds, so although it is unpleasant it may be to some degree understandable.

What's significantly more unpleasant is to throw it in peoples faces how much money you have while they are hard up.

At least if you want to hoard money then have the decency to shut up about it rather than throw it in the face of poor relatives.

Um, I definitely don't feel entitled to the lifestyle SOME pensioners can afford. Absolutely not. I hope I never would feel entitled to that sort of lifestyle. I just meant, in societal terms, children under 1 are the group most likely to experience poverty, and pensioners the group least likely to. And that's unjust, and it's a result of an unjust system, nothing to do with hard work.

No one ever said life was fair, but SOME people (including some pensioners, even very rich ones!) feel that it should, and could, be fairer.

As for giving up "their lifestyle", well, to the extent that it's subsidised by a state benefit, yeah. I would think these formerly hard working pensioners would be ashamed to be benefit scroungers. My lifestyle is fine, and I probably wouldn't be any wealthier as a result of changes like that, but the working families in poverty might be.

I do think that would be a fairer system, and the world not being fair isn't a "ah ha, gotcha, you little snowflake" matter of triumph for me, though it seems to be for you. Something tells me the unfairness tips in your favour...

Great. If you’re loving parent and have the means then make it slightly easier for your DC. Unless you’re a mean tightwad.

The tone of this thread is that of resentment towards well off pensioners (boomers) who apparently got lucky via property and should pass on their money to their adult children and grandchildren 'to help and change their lives'. It is said time and time again that this generation is the luckiest and 'how could they not give their children money to help'. As if it's something totally outrageous to do.

What I am saying that their childhoods were much less priviledged than that of their children and now grandchildren. They KNOW misery, and likely don't see today's standard of living as 'below par'. It is better than what they have known. Perhaps that is a blind spot.

Anyone in their 30s or 40s or even 50s today can still have a comfortable life as a pensioner. But it won't be via property. There are other ways to do it. People here need to look into their options. I'm guessing 99pc don't do that and just want to moan that their house will never appreciate 10x in value.