Parents hoarding money

OK then all of it is irrelevant, including that they could buy a house for 12k and therefore might be better off financially than you will be at their age, so suck it up princess.

But you as a parent can make any decision you want for your kids? The fact that grandparent's don't 'help out' doesn't stop you from making different choices.

It's bizzare that those moaning here likely expect some inheritance. Imagine the millions out there that won't even see a penny, let alone handouts to help with uni accommodation or singing lessons.

My view partly informed by the fact that I am secure (yes, I gave that to myself) and partly by the fact that I will never receive an inheritance. Nothing. The idea that my parents could help me out in difficult situations never even occured to me because I knew they could not.

Who changed the hiring practises so that only graduates can get roles outside of minimum wage dead end jobs? Who voted against the parties that suggested that all jobs should pay a living wage so that non-graduates can survive of their minimum wage jobs?

Nobody said anything about people doing it “on purpose”, whatever that means.It’s just that if you get lucky, it’s usually nice to share it 😊, especially with family.

However, this is an alien concept for many people on MN. I think it’s their highly “individualistic” way of looking at the world.

America and Britain are two of the most individualistic countries in the world. And when you see debates like this, it is very clear that that is the case, where people feel no sense of sharing their good fortune even with their own family. Some of us just find that attitude bizarre.

Very few of today's pensioners went to uni. It's a recent thing this expectation that most young people do that.

You keep banging on about things that HAPPENED, PAST TENSE. It's irrelevant. We're talking about NOW. Those things did not impact on their ability to become financially very comfortable. If you'd like to set up a post when we can all talk about problems that Boomer women had to face 50 years ago, then go ahead. As long as you're not going to try to claim that those problems make them poor TODAY.

The percentage of people my age who went to university would not be enough to vote anything through.

I think you're just meant to die so that your money can be handed over to the More Important Family Members and you contribute towards more available properties being on the market.

What else would you call going to University on a grant system and then voting for parties who raised tuition fees to £9k a year and have defunded maintenance loans to the point where they don't even cover accommodation?

I'm really sorry, this sounds like such a trap. I would suggest seeing your parents for who they are and accept it. It's the hardest thing to do. Likely, the money part isn't the only thing or the first time you felt 'not taken care of'.

People here speak in generlisations, and I did too. I don't think anyone meant for anyone chronically ill/unable to work (more) to better their economic situation.

100%. As I mentioned earlier, I believe that a lot of those posters are accusing people of being “entitled“ are actually very secure and comfortably £££ off, thank you very much! They don’t need any help. (I wonder what their attitude would be to their own children who was struggling e.g. because of health issues, and other difficult circumstances, etc).

So do you really think that a whole generation got together to purposefully make the lives of their children and grandchildren worse? You must know an awful lot of horrible people.

We are wrong whatever we do. If we save money to fund potential needs in old age so that we can be self sufficient if possible we are mean hoarders. If we give money to the next generation or, God forbid, go on a few nice holidays after working for 50 years, we have frittered our money away and are expecting the rest of society to fund our old age!

And by the way, I'm not suggesting that because someone has had a hard life they shouldn't help others, my point was you can't cherry pick the good bits when you bang on about how easy boomers had it, you have to acknowledge the whole picture, and in many ways they didn't have it better at all.

You must be trolling now. When was the last time you changed a habit you have had since birth ? When was the last time you made a real effort to change your view on something you didn't think you could change?

LOL.

you’re a bit like me - you like to make your point tho’ 😄

As for Chiswick, wouldn’t you have to be a millionaire banker or a foreign investor to buy a house in Chiswick now?

Is this your prescription for those of us who cannot improve our circumstances in any way and are already clinging on by our fingernails in chronic pain through sumperhuman effort every day yet have very wealthy parents who are content to watch us suffer, and even their grandchildren become orphans because of their refusal to help financially when this would impact their lives in no way whatsoever?

You think this is acceptable?

What, precisely, do you suggest that I do to “improve my own circumstances”? I’d love to hear your magical solution that I haven’t thought of in the very many sleepless nights that I’ve spent worrying about this.

The other thing to say, is that this ‘waiting for parents to die’ attitude isn’t necessarily a new thing. I am reminded of my late husbands parents, who spent much of their prime working life just waiting for her mother to die. He worked in a garage, she worked part time in a clothes shop. They had a modest lifestyle - nothing wrong with that - but no ambition or desire to work harder because they thought they would inherit a fortune. That side of the family was, to them, relatively well off.

Unluckily for them my husband’s grandmother lived to be well into her 90s, by which time his parents were in their 60s. Yes, they did inherit a reasonable amount of money - probably high 6 figures or so after tax, maybe even scraping 7 figures, but they’d spent over 30 years waiting, and living a far less comfortable life than they could have done had they made more of it.

Yes, they are having a comfortable retirement, but no more so than the standard of living they could have had for 30 years before if they’d had a bit of drive. The cycle is repeating, and my late husbands brother will now inherit the lot, and he hasn’t really worked at all since his 30s. Separated from his long time partner and living in social housing, waiting for his parents to die so he can inherit…. I can’t think of anything worse than - what a sad way to live. But there are two generations in one family who have, basically, spent 60 years waiting for people to die right there. Needless to say I have t kept in touch - we have nothing in common and they are just rather shallow people.

I suppose "welfare state at its height" depends on your perspective.

There wasn't much of an NHS in the 60s. Medical treatment has come on hugely and got vastly more expensive since the 60s. If you got any serious disease then you basically died. Nowadays there are lots of different treatments, but they are often costly.

They are options. You are, of course, free to completely dismiss them and refuse to make a financial decision. But don't be back moaning 'my kid has studied politics and can only get 30k entry salary and they have only given them a 2pc rise after one year', whilst the mechanic or social media influencer makes loads.

I would teach them to become financially savvy.

Apologies for multiple posts - that’s what comes with a shit wifi connection where I am!!

I do think some people find it incredulous to believe that a guy on a job that today would pay around £60k with a non working wife could afford in the early 70s a nice semi in Chiswick etc ( an old guy I know) with no inheritance or bonuses in the equation. No university costs and no contribution to final salary pension scheme , plus paid overtime with no expectations of maybe time off in lieu if you are lucky - we work for ourselves so it’s different but I can see from
my sons job ( hes27) - nice company and ok job but there’s no way he can afford to buy in London or suburbs, even on shared ownership the mortgage plus service charge, plus rent aspect would take well over half his wage on a 1 or 2 bed flat - if he moved out of London housing a bit cheaper but still not cheaper and then a fortune on commuting and so many paying their student loans too . It’s very hard for younger folk today unless they come from money, have inheritance or have the aptitude and connections to be a banker/lawyer etc - even as a medic they wouldn’t be that comfortably off - no wonder so many of them are demotivated and end up with unrealistic views that we can make everything ok simply by taxing the rich a lot more

I do think some people find it incredulous to believe that a guy on a job that today would pay around £60k with a non working wife could afford in the early 70s a nice semi in Chiswick etc ( an old guy I know) with no inheritance or bonuses in the equation. No university costs and no contribution to final salary pension scheme , plus paid overtime with no expectations of maybe time off in lieu if you are lucky - we work for ourselves so it’s different but I can see from
my sons job ( hes27) - nice company and ok job but there’s no way he can afford to buy in London or suburbs, even on shared ownership the mortgage plus service charge, plus rent aspect would take well over half his wage on a 1 or 2 bed flat - if he moved out of London housing a bit cheaper but still not cheaper and then a fortune on commuting and so many paying their student loans too . It’s very hard for younger folk today unless they come from money, have inheritance or have the aptitude and connections to be a banker/lawyer etc - even as a medic they wouldn’t be that comfortably off - no wonder so many of them are demotivated and end up with unrealistic views that we can make everything ok simply by taxing the rich

I do think some people find it incredulous to believe that a guy on a job that today would pay around £60k with a non working wife could afford in the early 70s a nice semi in Chiswick etc ( an old guy I know) with no inheritance or bonuses in the equation. No university costs and no contribution to final salary pension scheme , plus paid overtime with no expectations of maybe time off in lieu if you are lucky - we work for ourselves so it’s different but I can see from
my sons job ( hes27) - nice company and ok job but there’s no way he can afford to buy in London or suburbs, even on shared ownership the mortgage plus service charge, plus rent aspect would take well over half his wage on a 1 or 2 bed flat - if he moved out of London housing a bit cheaper but still not cheaper and then a fortune on commuting and so many paying their student loans too . It’s very hard for younger folk today unless they come from money, have inheritance or have the aptitude and connections to be a banker/lawyer etc - even as a medic they wouldn’t be that comfortably off - no wonder so many of them are demotivated and end up with unrealistic views that we can make everything ok simply by taxing the rich a lot more

I do think some people find it incredulous to believe that a guy on a job that today would pay around £60k with a non working wife could afford in the early 70s a nice semi in Chiswick etc ( an old guy I know) with no inheritance or bonuses in the equation. No university costs and no contribution to final salary pension scheme , plus paid overtime with no expectations of maybe time off in lieu if you are lucky - we work for ourselves so it’s different but I can see from
my sons job ( hes27) - nice company and ok job but there’s no way he can afford to buy in London or suburbs, even on shared ownership the mortgage plus service charge, plus rent aspect would take well over half his wage on a 1 or 2 bed flat - if he moved out of London housing a bit cheaper but still not cheaper and then a fortune on commuting and so many paying their student loans too . It’s very hard for younger folk today unless they come from money, have inheritance or have the aptitude and connections to be a banker/lawyer etc - even as a medic they wouldn’t be that comfortably off - no wonder so many of them are demotivated and end up with unrealistic views that we can make everything ok simply by taxing the rich

I do think some people find it incredulous to believe that a guy on a job that today would pay around £60k with a non working wife could afford in the early 70s a nice semi in Chiswick etc ( an old guy I know) with no inheritance or bonuses in the equation. No university costs and no contribution to final salary pension scheme , plus paid overtime with no expectations of maybe time off in lieu if you are lucky - we work for ourselves so it’s different but I can see from
my sons job ( hes27) - nice company and ok job but there’s no way he can afford to buy in London or suburbs, even on shared ownership the mortgage plus service charge, plus rent aspect would take well over half his wage on a 1 or 2 bed flat - if he moved out of London housing a bit cheaper but still not cheaper and then a fortune on commuting and so many paying their student loans too . It’s very hard for younger folk today unless they come from money, have inheritance or have the aptitude and connections to be a banker/lawyer etc - even as a medic they wouldn’t be that comfortably off - no wonder so many of them are demotivated and end up with unrealistic views that we can make everything ok simply by taxing the rich a lot more