Parents hoarding money

All those posts are in response to your assertion that if people give away all their money the state will cough up if they need care. It won’t.

The idea councils won't come after relatives for money when they are facing bankruptcy already when very few people have managed this is naive in the extreme.

The LA’s do this now and have done for years. It’s called investigating a deliberate deprivation of assets. What’s your point?

It's so strange if he has a decent relationship with his dependents. As a near retiree, there is nothing that gives me greater pleasure than to give my (adult) DC something extra to 'help'. My DM on the other hand is now a widow sitting on a healthy pot and thinks a donation of £200 is equivalent to £1m. And she still saves £1 off coupons and can't understand why we don't drive miles from a destination for 'free' parking. Parking charges approx £2 🙄

Yes - so as I said before it depends on the size of the estate, therefore IHT isn’t always payable.

the idea the state will pay for your care if you have given all your money and assets away is naive- yes some people have done this, but as the population ages and it becomes a far bigger burden then action will have to be taken.
The idea councils won't come after relatives for money when they are facing bankruptcy already when very few people have managed this is naive in the extreme.

We have adult DCs and are giving them money now towards deposits on flats.
they both work hard, they need this help now not in perhaps 20 years time.
Know we are fortunate to be able to do this.

How do you know it’s more than you’ll ever need? Two people needing residential care costs more than £150k a year.

Just saying, one of my parents, used to withdraw their pension every week and keep it at home. Over the years this mounted up..and it was kept in a plastic supermarket bag under the bed. Many times I was asked advice on what to do with it or where to keep it. Never took any advice, always said 'I'll think about it' Then they finally decided. Put it back in the bank. The next day said to me 'I'd better get to the bank the get some money out!' Now?? Had to go into a care home and all the money is now gone. You CANT tell an old person what to do with their money as they will not take advice.

No, what’s grim is loving money more than you love your children. How can you watch your DC and DGC suffer through lack of money while you have more money than you will ever need?

This. It’s personal choice what you do with any money you’ve earned etc.

The overweening sense of entitlement on here from some adults, with regards to their parent’s money, is indeed grim.

I think the average time people stay in care homes is 18 months...

What a despicable post!

It’s pure greed.

Look at it like this… if someone came on here to say that their parents had so much food in their house they would never be able to eat it all, pantries overflowing, more food than they know what to do with. Yet the OP doesn’t have enough food to feed her family and the parents won’t help. They just brag about how much excess food they have. What would you all say?

Yep I said above 3k please read post

Yes I understand ‘excess income’ for regular amounts

An asset is not automatically subject to IHT unless it exceeds the threshold of 325k or 650k through spousal transfers and 500k for a property for ‘direct descendants’

I never mentioned deprivation of assets - irrelevant to my post

No it's not. 3k pa can be gifted and won't make it part of estate. Also any amount given on a regular basis out of regular income, without impacting giver's lifestyle, can be given and won't be subject to IHT.
Giving away assets (e.g. cash out of savings, not regular income) as a one off will be subject to IHT proportionally if giver dies within 7 year, but at reduced scale.

ETA: Deprivation of assets and IHT are completely different and unrelated things.

A gift above 3k is only liable to inheritance tax if the gift giver dies within 7years (hence gifting large amounts earlier is advisable) even then it is tapered. IHT is only due above the threshold amount which differs according to circumstances as amounts can be combined. IHT tax can be offset by gifting the charity - all on the gov website

What a lovely friend you have.

She must be in her 50s? sponging from her elderly parents and expecting her Mum to pay for caring for her for a few weeks when unwell? and no pay, no care?

At this stage my friend is making plans to get back into part time employment for financial reasons. - so she's able to work part time but prefers to sponge tax payers, not only her parents? and you seem to support her?

low life

Mumsnet has become a breeding ground for parties to test their political ambitions in an unsubtle manner.

Completely get it @Antisocialg1t .

My remaining parent has assets of £4million, and 1/2 a million of that is in cash.

I find it dreadfully difficult having the same tone deaf conversations with her- ‘I have no interest in the money, I have more than I know what to do with’ etc etc and in the same breath ‘I don’t want to give it all to the taxman’, and moaning about paying tax on all the interest she makes. She has been repeatedly told by her financial advisor to spend large amounts or give it away.

When I’ve made suggestions, obviously firstly that she spends it on herself, and when that didn’t get any traction (she doesn’t want to go on holiday alone, she doesn’t want to go with us, she doesn’t fancy the theatre, she’s not interested in clothes, has too much jewellery already etc), suggested she could always give some to my siblings and I for ‘sensible’ things like house repairs etc she then ‘jokes’ and says she likes sitting on it and then does a 180 and says actually giving half of it to the taxman won’t worry her as she’ll be dead.

I think it’s the same conversations on repeat that I have to smile along with that is souring how I feel about it. If she said actually I’ve used the NHS, etc and I want to give back to the state would be a completely different matter… but having the same conversations over and over where she presents her problem (‘too much’ money) but completely ignores the solution (spend it or share it) is wearing at best.

Whilst none of us are on the bones of our arses, like almost everyone there’s always something we’re saving for, eg driving lessons for the teen, tuition or sports classes for the younger ones, house repairs, new baby on the way when made redundant etc. So it’s hard listening to ‘woe is me, I have too much money and don’t know what to do with it’.

Save the money and IHT will take 40% over a certain amount. I intend to give it away hard and fast if I'm spared by about 70. Live in rented and trust my son, could be an error but I'd rather give him the leg up.

1. state pension probably won’t exist in a few years - only if the population is stupid enough to vote in governments who would even think of abolishing them.
2. people will need to work until they die….but those who’s parents have ‘hoarded’ their own money will inherit money, pension & property from their parents - see above.
3. those who have inherited will be able to retire early with a lump sum4.
4. no change from now!
5. Parents…keep hoarding that money!

It counts as part of an estate so yes it is liable.

I don't mean all our wealth! 😂 I just mean I'm also not going to sit on everything and worry about it.

Great post.

I also think some PP are overly optimistic about the quality of care in some state funded retirement homes. Even when council funded residents live in the same homes as privately funded residents, they can live in different wings of the building with different amenities, different food, different care schedules and different social activities.

My parents are spending down my inheritance in a private facility and it will only get more expensive as their need for care escalates. My reaction is, good for them. I couldn’t enjoy an inheritance that resulted from compromised care.

You're not unreasonable to feel this way. It is his money and he can stockpile it if he wants but it doesn't make him a nice person to watch his family struggle and boast about his piles of money.
We have a similar person in our family. Always boasting about how much money he has and how he is struggling to spend it. Even implied he is frittering some of it away just to get rid of it. But apparently that doesn't include helping anyone else out. He's always been a nasty character though so it doesn't surprise me at all. His money, his choice but people do judge him by it.