Parents hoarding money

But it's not made up numbers, is it? Look at the screenshot from my local council. They actually pay £2,344 per month for fostering a teenage child.

Why do people insist on these self-owning gotchas?

Did her mother raise her?

I think offspring owe their (non toxic) parents a certain amount of consideration if they were decently reared, and parents should not have to “earn” eldercare by forking over money and free childcare to ameliorate the lifestyle choices made by adult children.

I was just talking to a friend of mine recently. Both of her parents are in their 80's and have been divorced for years. My friend is currently on a benefits. Her father helps her out financially.
He pays the odd bill and will give her cash a few times a year. She reckons this is worth about £1500-£2000 a year. She said it helps her a lot especially with the current cost of living.

Her mother meanwhile has money but has become extremely tight as she has gotten older. She complain's about the cost of things like a coffee or a meal out. She gives my friend as little as possible money wise.

In the last 18 months her mother had a health issue and needed help for several weeks. My friend moved into her mother's house and did 80% of the care and her siblings did the rest. Without this her mother would have had to go into a nursing home then. Her mother never even give her a £5 for all this help

At this stage my friend is making plans to get back into part time employment for financial reasons. She also told me I don't want to be as available for care in the next few years. She said as well that her mother has refused to listen to any advice she has given her and she knows this will lead to problems later on.

Its simple made up numbers. I gave you the link to save you troubling to check facts. Those are the numbers used in all the boroughs local to me, fascinated to know where you are that pays double these numbers. That must be why people are queuing up to foster…on no they are not, in practice most boroughs are struggling to find foster care at any price.

However if its such easy money, nothing to stop you putting your trotters in the trough is there?

The PP is in an area which like most, pays the minimum of approx 200 per week for older children and teens.

That is 800 per month, not 2k.

I’ve no idea where you live but I know my borough and all the surrounding boroughs pay the government minimum. Extra payments are for high needs, not “ordinary” cared for children.

Sorry I meant per week. There is a national minimum fostering allowance and our LA pay the minimum. Agencies on the other hand it is a different story.

In my area the standard rate is £540.87 per week for teenagers.

£2344 per month, per teenage child.

No.

£2k per child, per month.

They are fostering four children.

There are four children being fostered…hence 4 * £2k being £8k. Out by a factor of 2 still, admittedly!!

She's fostering 4 children.

4x £2k = £8k = £96k a year = equivalent to £160k on PAYE.

It's very simple maths. Please try to keep up.

£8k a month is £2k a week, no?

My figure was £2k per month and therefore potentially £8k per month for four kids. Nobody at any point mentioned weeks.

My dad is like this too.
mind you I’ve not so much as had a Christmas card of him since he and my mum split 20 years ago 😂

I'm astonished by this post, never mind that it's his money, retirement is a vast and uncertain place and you shouldn't take that lightly. I want to have to have to take nothing from my family (though I have both loaned and gifted money to them myself) and overall I think it is much better for each generation to find its own way. I could give a lot of money to my child later in their life but my wife is very much of the opinion that trust fund kids are all duffers, and I am of the opinion that the last thing I want it to be a burden to a child when I've old. If there is something left when I die then that's great (though my wife might prefer even that goes to charity).

You didn’t seem to think £2k a week was implausibly high. 🙄

Per week, not per month.

The ludicrous claim was of "I think fostering pays around £2k per kid tax free, so that's potentially £8k per month of tax free income."

If @Swanlady is not in the SE/London areas the standard rates is between 190-220 for children from 5 - 17 with the upper end only applying when they hit 16.

£200 per month seems to be implausibly low.

https://www.gov.uk/becoming-foster-parent/help-with-the-cost-of-fostering

Google is your friend.

Its really not difficult to find actual facts (although I’m sure its more fun to just make shit up).

https://www.gov.uk/support-for-foster-parents/help-with-the-cost-of-fostering

In my area the basic rate is all you get. Any of the “possible extras” require extensive extra needs to make the case. Ditto the neighbouring areas.

This is SM where facts are optional and we just make shit up about whichever group is the in target this week. See also disabled people being given free Rolls Royces for filling in a form about a broken finger nail.

Haha.. a total misconception. I foster for the LA. Try £200 a kid. I also have my own business which thankfully I can leave to pretty much run its self now. Believe me. I spend more on my foster kids than I get. Like I said, they travel extensively with us too.

It's probably hard work though. I don't think it is easy money or else everyone would be queuing up to do it.

I don't begrudge people working hard and making money. I do begrudge people when they boasting about how they lucked out in life. Some people just simply aren't born with the talents to make high paying careers in todays society and circumstances such as having special needs children, health issues like mental health and divorce/separation and housing difficulties can add to the financial load and make it very difficult for people in todays environment. Yes you need to try to teach your kids self reliance, but also you need to be there for them if they fail. That's what families are about to me. Not counting 0s on the bank balance.

I think there is a balance point between the two extremes of children taking every penny their parents have saved for their retirement and parents with large amounts of wealth watching their kids struggle.

I was so glad and relieved to read this as I've been feeling this for ages. I think for me, it's knowing that I couldn't live hoarding money if I knew my children were struggling - I just don't understand the mentality. Even if I only have £10 left in my purse, it goes to one of them before I'd even get a look in. It does make me feel bitter how hard it is for me and he could change that by not even denting his savings - but then I have to remind myself that he earnt it and it's his etc. etc.!

I think fostering pays around £2k per kid tax free, so that's potentially £8k per month of tax free income.

That's equivalent to £160k on PAYE.

Is it any wonder that @Swanlady has cash to spare?

Is that a joke? What a horrible way to speak to somebody you presumably love, at least a bit. Jeering at them for getting older and threatening not to offer any support. Hopefully it is a joke. So hard to tell on social media.

I do partly agree with this too - my FIL is 86 and I would rather if necessary he is self able to fund care of whatever kind than give most of his money away and then feel we need to be on the doorstep to go round 4 times a day , or have to have him move in with us etc and other limited choices- he just isn’t the kind of person that would want this either ( as he is still 100% compus mentis at the moment ) it’s all been a quite open conversation- my H has POA in place if needed, FIL has said he would prefer a live in carer than a care home if totally needed and has the liquid cash to do this for a few years if necessary . He moved last year at 85 to a nice bungalow in a nice town and has medical centre, pub, urgent care centre, 2 general stores and bus stop all within 3 minutes flat walk and can walk to town in 10 minutes. Personally I concentrate on making sure he eats well, we have lots of contact and he’s getting out and about every day - I can’t stop disease or illness or age but can make sure whilst he is ok that he is as fit and well as possible and eats very well, is picked up to come to social stuff with us - he does still drive but won’t drive in the dark now. I cannot deny we are not in a great position ourselves financially , we don’t own a house, live in a pricey area out of choice etc but we do have a good business we will sell at some point - FIL has offered us money to buy a shared ownership ( the percentage bit outright) but we have said no , because at 86 I think we would be in the ‘deprivation of assets’ area - as there would be a reasonable expectation of care needs. I don’t want to deprive him of choices because in all honesty it’s ‘our ‘ choice to some extent to live in a very nice but pricey area.