To not want to cook a full foreign Christmas spread for people I’ve only met once?

What a horrible man !

No, he cooked until he moved in with her. When challenged on cooking and housework he tells her he does diy and mows the lawn so in his male brain this is fair as she isn’t really a person so shouldn’t get a fair deal, as long as there is something he can point to and say I do that in his mind it’s fair, even if it’s ’once a year I wash the car’

Comical / sad 2 read of people's notions of culture.
You create your own when meet someone.
His is obvs selfish misogynistic
Honestly find a nice good man.
That is the 'culture' u need.

Jesus Christ on a bike. He's expecting you to do all this for people you barely know? Unbelievable. Either he deals with the food and all the other arrangements for them himself,or you call the whole thing off. And I think you really need to reconsider your relationship with this man. He sounds very dictatorial and controlling.

You sure picked a winner to father your child OP. I highly doubt none of these less than stellar qualities were evident already but you chose it for your child anyway.
All I can say is that I hope you really did put your foot down and aren't going to be 'convinced' to do as he wants so you can be ignored for the day whilst they consciously leave you out and disregard you.
You now have a lifelong tie to this man, who I suspect will wear you down and continue on being disrespectful, inconsiderate, selfish and misogynistic. Time to start thinking of the example you'll be setting for a child that will see this dynamic as 'normal' if you don't

That’s a lot. Can anything be made and frozen. Not that she should cook or anything. You can’t freeze noodles but you can sauces

I think making a curry for everybody is a fair compromise.

I'd order a pile of pizzas from a takeaway and that would be the end of the cooking conversation. Every year here, there are more and more takeaways open on christmas day and that tells me that there are more and more people not cooking for christmas, so you wouldnt be the odd one out it seems!

Good on you for telling him.

Fuck that!! Why isn’t HE sorting out the food for HIS friends???

But it’s not your culture for the woman to do all the work…

He should figure out the food situation. He did the inviting. Perhaps he can purchase takeaway dishes. It's unfair to put all this pressure on you. Also did you and he discuss household roles and such before moving in together? Have you discussed how you'll raise your child, and with what cultural traditions and expectations?

None of this has anything to do with the parents or the difference in culture.

It's to do with being in a relationship with an exploitative prick who expects his woman to do what he wants.

He expects it on special occasions like Christmas...

...because he expects it every day.

Excuse me? He is getting hatred because he’s a lazy bum not because he’s polish. If he wants polish food so badly then he can cook it. He wants op to cook it so him and his so called family ignore her , eat the food and then ignore her again. It doesn’t matter if he’s polish , Indian , Spanish. It’s still rude to try and make her cook food she doesn’t know how too because he’s too damn lazy.

In a marriage/partnership - it really shouldn't be a big deal who sources the restaurant for Christmas dinner..

I never said she needed to cook them...

Get an abortion while you still can, one child is enough, and I think that you should get rid of him too.

I would recommend at least reading OPa updates

This.

Stop focusing on Christmas and cooking. You’re missing the point.

He has been manipulating you for three years to the point where you can’t see him and his disgusting behaviour for what it is.

Please leave him.

It's not up to the OP to find such a restaurant, her DP can do that surely.

And the OP doesn't need to be cooking meals to learn about her DP's culture - she can eat the meals that her DP makes for her that follow traditional recipes from his country. If he won't cook them, why should she ??

Ive only read the first 4 replies. They sum it up really. Absolutely do not consider entertaining this lot. Sounds a bloody nightmare. It'll it were me I'd be going to your parents ( and never coming back)
Its your Christmas too.

Well, he sounds a right mardarse! I wouldn't want to have to host Christmas in my own home for people I hardly know, particularly when one of them has made a rude comment about my job, never mind be expected to single-handedly cook 'their' sort of food. Your partner must surely know you don't enjoy cooking, you're newly pregnant and you're tired. The last thing you need is to be thrown into a panic and become stressed out with this pile of uncalled for nonsense. What's the matter with the man? Like almost everyone else has said, either he does the cooking, you uninvite these people and spend the day a deux, or you leave them all to it and go and spend your precious time off with your own family. Good luck.

If he wants this, he can bloody well organise the whole thing.

Absolute CF.

that is true. It's awkward and uncomfortable I agree. It's also bad that those that do understand it don't always take into account that's there's somebody in the group that doesn't understand a word.

I think you're missing the point. If you put your foot down with this, he will just cause other issues.

He already has when you tried to make a familiar stew for him once before and he said don't bother.

He's constantly moving the goalposts. This man is manipulating you and using you.

You might be satisfied you've sternly said no this time, but you're 5 weeks pregnant to this man who is not going to change. A pattern is a pattern.

Great to learn a few phrases, sure, but most people are going to get lost once the conversation starts to flow in another language.