To not want to cook a full foreign Christmas spread for people I’ve only met once?

Christmas dinner might feel like a small win but you have much bigger problems here. It's not one meal, it's his whole attitude - to relationships, to women, to you. These little battles are going to spring up constantly for the next 20+ years and every single time they do he'll be twisting facts and making you feel like shit for saying anything. You'll either be at each other's throats the whole time or you'll be worn down until you give up.

Your partner is waving his red flags extremely high and you really need to take notice!
If he wants a traditional Christmas from his culture, then he can prepare and cook it. Whilst he's at it, he can prepare the house and entertain the guests that HE invited without any consideration for, or consultation with, you.
From what you've written, I'd advise you to take a step back to revaluate your relationship and future with this selfish individual. He certainly doesn't give a shit about you and your feelings, and is trying to manipulate and emotionally blackmail you into doing his bidding.
Imagine that your potential future daughter was explaining this to you about how her partner was treating her. What would you be feeling/thinking/advising? Personally, if it was my daughter I'd be advising her to walk away, fast!

So you're not running around sorting sleeping arrangements or cooking foreign food then?

Great, sit back and enjoy Christmas with none of the responsibility.

and do you cook meals you've never eaten on demand from people who never cook?

Whoever cooks decides the menu.

She is not his chef - he could cook meals from his culture for her and she could cook meals she is familiar with and enjoys eating (regardless of the cultural background but meals she has seen and tasted in restaurants or people's homes) for him.

Cooking something you've never eaten for someone for whom it's a cultural staple is different from trying out new recipes together or trying to reproduce something you enjoyed at a restaurant or on holiday, for fun.

It'll probably be cheaper to buy gifts and go see your family.

Tell him that, that's nice dear. I'm going visiting and wish him a good time.

I don't have much to add except that he sounds like an absolute prick.

Well start doing them then, otherwise you're encouraging 'pink' and 'blue' jobs 🤷‍♂️

You're a couple living together so you need to share the chores.

Well in the dating stage he used to know how to cook basic meals and then all of a sudden “forgot” when I moved in.

So why didn't you move back out again?

@VikaOlson if you are new to mumsent just an fyi calling people out for being fake isn't allowed you should privately report to mnhq if you have suspicions and the thread is deeply worrying you for some reason.

Also fyi have had many ,probably thousands of threads about my in laws over the years and many have said this or that doesn't seem true it's all been true.

And you thought 'right, I'd better have a baby with this prince'?

He invited these guests. He can cook for them. He has plenty of time to practise until Christmas.

He invited, he hosts. He sounds really awful. Are you sure this is a relationship you want to be in long term?

Yep either fake to generate outrage or totally pathetic.

Does he do whatever DIY and garden maintenance etc. that you tell him to? Or is that his own domain where he gets to decide what's reasonable? (and I don't mean - has he sometimes done what you've asked him to, I mean can you ask him to something he isn't that comfortable with and he will go and learn how to do it, because you asked him to?)

He's not that confusing, he just has utter contempt for you, why have you even stayed with someone who is such a nasty fucking bastard.

This will get worse if you have a baby with him, buy a house and are trapped. Right now you have options. Run.

I took the comment 'on the outside' to mean op will be excluded from conversation as they will natter away in their own language. But either way he sounds revolting.

@KatieBenoiteee he sounds bloody awful. like he wants to show you off as good little wifey. tell him to cook and host himself as he's enjoyed every other Christmas being hosted by your family.

Why are you casting yourself in the role of being the one who cooks in any of these scenarios? Please think about what expectations you are setting here. People treat you how you allow them to treat you. He should be alternating cooking with you as the norm. Don’t fall into the ‘little woman’ stereotype- you will seriously regret it in future.

You're not really taking on board anything people are saying are you?

Why on earth have you not taken your not-so-dear partner to task over this?

Mike, what do you mean you’ve invited them for Christmas?You know we already have other plans! You can’t just invite people without talking it through with me first. You will have to uninvite them, and explain that you were in the wrong in asking them in the first place.

Mike, what on earth were you thinking? There’s no way I’m cooking dishes I don’t know for people who prefer to talk to you in your own language and don’t try and include me! You’ll have to cook for them and do all the entertaining as I’m going to my parents.

You have here a misogynist who sees cookingn and cleaning as women’s work. He’ll be the proud host and berate you behind the scenes for anything not up to his standards.

FFS, how on earth is anyone to prepare a set of dishes they’ve never tasted? Tell him he’s on cooking and hosting as you won’t have time or energy- only 3 days off work and if you’re anything like I was at 12 weeks pregnant you’ll be exhausted and nauseous most of the time.

Your cosy twosome idea was much more appropriate for the circumstances. I’m afraid he isn’t going to want to improve in this relationship.

Because from what the OP has said, when she did offer to cook her husband a meal from his culture he told her not to bother as it wouldn't taste the same.

Hi op I've only skim read the thread so apologies if has already been said but even the most experienced cook would have issues cooking for the FIRST TIME traditional well loved dishes for that nations citizens.
Especially places where more spices and herbs are used.
Even if you were happy to try i don't think it would turn out well In a happy congenial setting.
He's going to be very disappointed .why can't they cook ?