To not want to cook a full foreign Christmas spread for people I’ve only met once?

I can't help but notice that you aren't responding to the 'you need to leave him' comments. Why aren't you? His bad behaviour will only escalate, especially after the baby has been born, you are storing up a life of misery for yourself.

It's not fair though.
The lawn doesn't need mowing every day.
DIY doesn't need doing every day.
Meals need to be prepared and cooked every day.

Jesus wept, he’s a boorish lazy bully who’s shacked up with the live in maid
You have a live of domestic drudgery & criticism ahead of you and you’re already seeing that
When you have a child, his child, he’ll probably get worse.

What do your family & friends think of this lazy boorish bully? He’s a right fucking catch
Get him out your flat, get shot of him. Plan a safe exit, delete your internet history. Don’t want to alarm you, but this is v worrying

He sounds like a sexist selfish twat. Also you may be in the pregnancy pits of hell around that time, if you are unlucky enough to be nauseous and have food/cooking aversions. If you are, there is no way in hell you’ll be cooking anything, let alone a fancy meal for 5. Don’t let him bully you into it. HE made the plans so HE needs to follow through with them.

Exactly. And he invited them so it's up to him to facilitate the visit.

OP, this isn't sounding very idyllic, and particularly as you're pregnant and tired.

So, to sum up...

• He does not cook
• He invited his cousins over infront of you, in another language without any consultation or consideration?
• He then expects you to do all the shopping, prep and cooking for an unfamiliar meal - that you have not agreed to - whilst pregnant and dealing with first trimester tiredness/ sickness.
• When you object he goes in for the DARVO approach and sulks.

Fucking hell, he sees you as property.

OP, I advise you to terminate the pregnancy and the relationship. Its going to get 10 x worse when the baby is here and he does not lift a finger to help.

You deserve better.

did you actually plan to have a baby with this man? are you really sure you want to? (it is not too late to change this situation).

is he going to expect you to carry on being responsible for cooking every single meal he eats for the rest of your pregnancy/ immediately after you give birth/ for the rest of your lives?! and doing all the childcare? and changing all the nappies? and cleaning the house?

you haven't explained why it's considered your job to sort out bedding for his visitors.

or why his guests can't help him with cooking all these traditional dishes they are familiar with and want to eat.... (or - if he's too lazy to do that - why he can't find a UK-based caterer from his home country who can, for a price, supply these authentic dishes he loves so much)
if he was a considerate human being, he'd have already thought about these options and realised that either would: (a) give his pregnant partner a chance to rest and (b) be a nice way to introduce her to his culture and cuisine.

Let him have Christmas with his family, his way and you go to your family. You are pregnant, you don’t need to be cooking and hosting people, let alone trying to make dishes from scratch you don’t know how. Xx

Please, please take a step back and look at the red flags here - there are many and although they might not seem obvious while you’re in the middle of the situation, you are recognising them because you’re writing them out - listen to your gut! I am sadly speaking from experience when I say if you ignore these red flags now, they will just multiply and you will be trapped. Run for the hills!

• He has invited people you hardly know without having a proper, private, conversation with you first - such disrespect.
• He has shown total disregard for how you might feel at that time - you will very likely be really tired. Or what happens if you are unwell/your pregnancy has ended? (I’m sorry to be brutal, but you’re early pregnant and sadly these things can and do happen)
• He is dismissing and manipulating you constantly - including gaslighting you saying YOU have ruined his evening
• He dismissed and belittled you previously when you were excited to try and cook something special for him (but now it’s okay for you to cook?!)

I’m sorry to say that he is showing you his real colours and he doesn’t care about you, your feelings or opinion - this is just going to get so much worse when you have a child. Look hard at those red flags, listen to your gut and think seriously about your future.

He's not only a selfish useless prick, but also odd to the extreme.

I'm Eastern European. If I'm invited to celebrate Christmas with a Mexican family, I'd fully expect to eat traditional Mexican Christmas dishes or anything from Mexican cuisine (or along those lines). I would never even imagine them attempting to cook Eastern European food to please me? That would be the weirdest and entitled thing to expect.

And vice versa, if I'd invite people of other nationalities, I'd cook them my traditional food, because I'd think it might be interesting to them, to maybe try something new, something they might have not tried before. I'd also probably prepare something more 'international', like a traditional roast or something, in case they didn't like EE food.

How dare he and his relatives expect a pregnant British woman to suddenly become fluent in their country's cuisine (whatever it is), cook expertly and single-handedly provide them with a feast, whilst he's sitting there, twiddling his thumbs. The most you could do (if you're feeling charitable), is to give a nod to their culture, serve one single easy to make dish/drink/snack, maybe shop bought if possible, and you don't want to cook.

Could he himself cook - say - Thai/Malay/Peruvian food to a high standard for natives? Or if cooking is a 'woman's job' (VILE opinion), then could his female cousin do it?

Anyway, that was a long-winded way to say - you should give yourself a Christmas gift of dumping this misogynist loser.

I would leave him now.

Do not buy a house with this man.

Your future is only going to get worse if you stay with this man. He's got red flags written all over him and they usually start to change once you're pregnant.

He's giving you a taste of what your future will look like so open your eyes and smell the coffee. In his eyes, you're worthless and only there to serve him. Your feelings don't count and they never will.

Run as fast as you can and don't look back. Your baby will thank you for it.

Tell a friend or family, contact women's aid and start the freedom program course ASAP.

Bloody hell OP! As many others have said, just no.

No I won't cook for YOUR guests who YOU invited without even consulting me!

No, just because I have a vagina doesn't mean I do everything while you sit on your arse.

And frankly no to him as a whole, he has zero respect for you and is a sexist arsehole. He should be talking about how he'll do everything at christmas as you'll pregnant, knackered and possibly feeling sick.

So what if he's had British Christmases, the poor diddums? That doesn't mean you have to provide him with a non-British one! It's very clearly his turn to do the donkey work for the guests he invited. If he doesn't know how he can learn, like he;s expecting you to.

Agree with PPs, go to your mum's on your own where someone else will cook and you can take it easy.

I understand not continuing the pregnancy isn't for everyone but it's something I would consider carefully, while kicking Mr Host with the Most back to the 1950s where he belongs.

He and the visiting relatives can cook the main from their culture and you can do a dessert. Few bottles of wine and everyone is happy. Tell him the alternative is you order a pizza.

Sorry, have I missed something? Do we know it's Polish? (if so, I think you're meant to have your Christmas carp swimming about in your bath already, OP...) Edit: ah, I see, "Central Europe".

Seriously, though. What ARE you doing with this useless, controlling man? It'd be high pressure to cook a Christmas dinner you're familiar with for people you don't know, let alone something you don't have the first clue about with people who will be bitching about your failings in another language. Awful, awful man who thinks it's 1950, wants a little subservient wife and is going to make it as difficult for you as possible at Christmas, so he can have a go at you for not being 'up to scratch'. It really isn't "fair enough", it's abusive. This is not a situation you want to be bringing a baby into.

I would not be having this man’s child or any further Christmases with him. He sounds like a shit.

You know this doesn’t actually make sense don’t you? You need to eat, wear clothes and live in a clean house every day. Every decent human adult pulls their weight in contributing to this- it’s like a baby learning to walk. After that diy etc is on top.

again, if this is real, you should leave. This dick ‘offered to help clean up’ earns zero points. You will have a shit Christmas if you don’t leave, he won’t cook, if you cook british food he will say nasty shit about you to his family, no matter what happens. You will sit there smiling politely while they talk in a different language and ignore you , and I think no matter what happens he will say nasty shit about you to his family. If he cooks he will sulk and make you miserable and say really nasty shit about you to his family, if you cook his ‘helping clean up’ will be worse than my 3yo attempts, and the tantrum if you call him on it will equal my 3yos. That’s an awful awful Christmas any way you look at it and you could iust not accept it and go to your mums. And stay there, baby needs food and you might get sick again- he doesn’t have your or baby’s back.

he invite he cooks

No, he’s from Central Europe, the OP said.

Poland, Romania, Hungary … all have longstanding traditions around food preparation, church and eating from Christmas Eve and into Christmas Day.

Agreed

Am I correct in thinking that your "annoyance" partner does not come from somewhere that traditionally celebrates Christian Christmas?
He needs to step up or you need to go to your family.
If you are not able to resolve this, you need to discard this one.

I think she means she can’t find his country’s traditional recipes translated into English.

Because he can not even do that for her, the treasure.

Abortion. Now.

If you think he's being a bit mysoginistic now, you have absolutely no idea what is coming for you.

er a bit of a red flag? Maybe explain that you're not the house elf and either its 50 50 or its macdonalds?

He didn't do any prep when you had xmas with your folks so it's his turn with his.

You’ve been together 3 years but there doesn’t seem to be any teamwork here. Why do you have to cook all these dishes? He hates cooking but so do a lot of people but they just have to crack on. He has piled on you the responsibility to make Christmas special for him and his whole family. And I’m guessing even if you did do it, he’d be saying it’s not the same as when he was young…What might’ve been nice is to cook together. My parents are from 2 different countries with very different cuisine and they’d sometimes spend time cooking together on the weekend and we kids were roped in too. But your DP is approaching this as he says, you do. If this indicative of other behaviour, I’d suggest reconsidering the relationship. I don’t think this is how a healthy partnership should work.