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AIBU?

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Snapped at husband on Halloween

29 replies

makaila58 · 02/11/2025 18:46

This past Halloween, I was sick with a cold. I was feeling really miserable, so I asked my husband to carve the kids' pumpkins as I really just didn't want to do it. He's not usually involved in holiday activities the way I am, but he happily agreed. I started setting up things outside, came in, and my husband was washing and drying pumpkin seeds. My son was sitting there patiently, but he was waiting for my husband to carve the pumpkin for him. I had told my husband I wanted to go trick or treating sooner than later, and it was nearing 6 pm. When I saw that he wasn't doing the one thing I asked of him, I got really irritated and started carving the pumpkin myself. He tried to calm me down and told me he would get to it, but this is not the first time this has happened where I stated what needed to be done, and he ended up doing some other non-vital task. It's like he loses any perception of time when the weekend comes. I know he doesn't have ADHD, but sometimes he really acts like it. He has no issues completing tasks at work, but when he's at home, he takes forever to do a single thing I ask of him. I may have jumped the gun by reacting to the pumpkin not being carved, but I was so tired. We haven't spoken affectionately in a couple of days as I am still sick, and I don't feel like I owe him an apology. I feel like he doesn't listen to me when I tell him EXACTLY what it is I want or need.

OP posts:
whistlesandbells · 02/11/2025 18:54

It’s fucking irritating watching someone do a task not in the same way as you do it - it really is. I despair watching it all in slow-mo. Sadly, you delegated a task you would normally take care of - and that is what you get. It’s not worth the battle. Leave people to it - “let them”.

chiccachicca · 02/11/2025 18:53

But did you fart as well?

Sillysoggyspaniel · 02/11/2025 18:52

Your son wasn't upset, your husband was clearly in the middle of pumpkin based activity, and you came stropping in and had a huffy tantrum.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 02/11/2025 18:50

You are being a bit unreasonable. You have a fixed idea of what should be done when, rather than handing it over completely to someone else.

I’ve long had to accept that when other people do things, they do them their own way.

They are not extensions of your arms, but autonomous people!

If you have something specific in mind- the pumpkin needs to be ready by 6pm- then you need to be explicit.