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AIBU?

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Original poster

Still waiting to meet DDs boyfriend if 4 months

59 replies

Mossey55 · 02/11/2025 15:47

My DD has been seeing her boyfriend for approx 4 months. They are both in their 30s. I’m delighted for her and I hope it lasts.They recently visited my son and stayed over and apparently the BF is lovely. I’ve asked my daughter a few times if we can meet him , she said they want meet each others friends first. I feel hurt and a bit insulted that he/they think that meeting friends is more important than meeting mum and dad. Tell me honestly do you think I’m being unreasonable and if so what would you do.

OP posts:
CheeseWisely · 02/11/2025 15:56

4 months isn’t long at all. Granted I met my (now DH) not long before covid and we live in a different country to our parents but it was over 2 years until we met each others parents!

FrodoBiggins · 02/11/2025 15:55

Stop asking

dudsville · 02/11/2025 15:55

4 months is to soon for the grand statement that is meeting the parents.

TheBestTimes · 02/11/2025 15:54

Meeting friends and siblings is often far more casual than meeting the parents. Friends and siblings often meet gfs/bfs that don’t last long enough to meet parents. It’s only been 4 months anyway, hardly a serious relationship. You are being OTT which may make her more reluctant to introduce you. Stop asking her to meet him, you sound very overbearing to be so invested at this stage.

Pancakeflipper · 02/11/2025 15:54

I think he sees friends as actually less important. That for him, meeting parents takes it to a more serious level.

beasmithwentworth · 02/11/2025 15:53

I understand you up to a point. It would be nice but it’s not totally unreasonable of them to do the friends thing first.

Ultimately- whilst I’m sure she will want your approval and for you to like him, they will probably spend more time as a couple in the company of their peers rather than their parents, so it’s important to see how that dynamic works. Also I would imagine that her friends will have been openly badgering her about meeting him as they’ll be so excited and happy so will have been more persuasive / vocal where as you quite rightly as the parent have just said it would be nice to meet him.

Meeting the parents is also the big one. It almost cements the confirmation that it’s definitely serious - friends much less so.

So in the nicest possible way, I think you ABU.

GreyCarpet · 02/11/2025 15:52

It's not about those people.being more important. If anything, it's the opposite.

Meeting parents can often signify the next level of commitment or seriousness which makes you the most important.

Friends and siblings just mean another person in the social circle. Parents can be an extra level of pressure and carries all the weight and expectation eg you hope it lasts.

Friends and siblings are only thinking about now and whether they like him. You are already thinking about the future.

Bladderpool · 02/11/2025 15:51

Four months isn’t very long, I think it was around 6 months, possibly longer with both of mine and their partners.

CleanShirt · 02/11/2025 15:49

4 months is no time at all!

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