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Original poster

Still waiting to meet DDs boyfriend if 4 months

59 replies

Mossey55 · 02/11/2025 15:47

My DD has been seeing her boyfriend for approx 4 months. They are both in their 30s. I’m delighted for her and I hope it lasts.They recently visited my son and stayed over and apparently the BF is lovely. I’ve asked my daughter a few times if we can meet him , she said they want meet each others friends first. I feel hurt and a bit insulted that he/they think that meeting friends is more important than meeting mum and dad. Tell me honestly do you think I’m being unreasonable and if so what would you do.

OP posts:
WonderlandWasAllAHoax · 02/11/2025 22:10

DearyDrearyDear · 02/11/2025 20:15

Cruel?

🤦‍♀️

The way you've immediately jumped to being offended about your DD's partner and now yourbsayinf someone is cruel for saying your over reacting...... can you see maybe why your daughter doesn't want to introduce her partner to you yet?

You sound very dramatic

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Ha - thank you! 🥰

WonderlandWasAllAHoax · 02/11/2025 22:10

TheZanyZebra · 02/11/2025 20:28

it was neither "cruel" nor "hugely unnecessary". What post are you referring that was "cruel"
All the poster you quoted said was that you were overreacting, and .. you are.

If you are dramatic about everything that way, your poor DD will dread introducing her boyfriend to you, and will delay as long as she possibly can.

4 months if far too early to be serious and introducing anyone to parents. It would make people run a mile if their boy/girlfriends are already talking about parents so early, let them be.

But when the parent tends to be dramatic anyway, it's 10 times worst.

Show quote history

Thank you! Flowers

WonderlandWasAllAHoax · 02/11/2025 22:10

Mossey55 · 02/11/2025 20:08

Wonderlandwasallahoax
ni one else said I was HUGELY OVERREACTING that was cruel and hugely unnecessary

You are hugely overreacting and lots of other posters agree with me 🫣

2GreatFatSquirrels · 02/11/2025 22:00

They’re in their 30s. It’s only been 4 months. It’s not time to meet the parents yet.

Coffeeishot · 02/11/2025 21:48

I didn't meet my Dds now husband for 6 months, and my other Dd was seeing her now partner long before they were "official" i think we met him at 4iish months,

Let her work it out between them I can't see it being too long till you meet.

Allmarbleslost · 02/11/2025 21:43

My parents didn't even know dh existed when we'd only been dating for 4 months. Be patient!

TheZanyZebra · 02/11/2025 20:28

Mossey55 · 02/11/2025 20:08

Wonderlandwasallahoax
ni one else said I was HUGELY OVERREACTING that was cruel and hugely unnecessary

it was neither "cruel" nor "hugely unnecessary". What post are you referring that was "cruel"
All the poster you quoted said was that you were overreacting, and .. you are.

If you are dramatic about everything that way, your poor DD will dread introducing her boyfriend to you, and will delay as long as she possibly can.

4 months if far too early to be serious and introducing anyone to parents. It would make people run a mile if their boy/girlfriends are already talking about parents so early, let them be.

But when the parent tends to be dramatic anyway, it's 10 times worst.

Greggsit · 02/11/2025 20:19

I don't think I'd even told my parents I was seeing someone within four months, never mind arranging a meet-up!

Jk987 · 02/11/2025 20:17

Too soon and you’re being overbearing I’m afraid.

DearyDrearyDear · 02/11/2025 20:15

Mossey55 · 02/11/2025 20:08

Wonderlandwasallahoax
ni one else said I was HUGELY OVERREACTING that was cruel and hugely unnecessary

Cruel?

🤦‍♀️

The way you've immediately jumped to being offended about your DD's partner and now yourbsayinf someone is cruel for saying your over reacting...... can you see maybe why your daughter doesn't want to introduce her partner to you yet?

You sound very dramatic

Original poster
Mossey55 · 02/11/2025 20:08

Wonderlandwasallahoax
ni one else said I was HUGELY OVERREACTING that was cruel and hugely unnecessary

OP posts:
BigOldBlobsy · 02/11/2025 17:55

shes probably getting friends and sibling to do a ‘vibe check’ first before going for the big guns (parents!) as that makes it feel more real/solid! Don’t take it to heart

DramaAlpaca · 02/11/2025 17:23

My eldest DS is in his early 30s and I've only recently met his girlfriend of 18 months. He wanted it to be a very casual meet up, nothing formal. I eventually met her by accident when I popped in to his place unannounced (something I don't usually do but that day I had a good reason to, before I'm flamed!). She's lovely, btw, we got on great.

Ponderingwindow · 02/11/2025 17:22

DH and i didn’t meet one another’s parents until we were engaged. Admittedly geography was an issue, but it just isn’t something that needs to be rushed.

JHound · 02/11/2025 17:21

You are being unreasonable.

I am VERY selective over who meets my parents and other immediate family (I have never introduced a partner to my mother). But friends can meet anybody. I am not too fussed.

WonderlandWasAllAHoax · 02/11/2025 17:18

Mossey55 · 02/11/2025 17:04

Wonderlandwasallahoax
wow, I know I wanted honest opinions but please try and be a little more sensitive I don’t think I am hugely overreacting at all , in fact I am not reacting, I was just asking for others views but I had hoped they would be respectful and sensitive.
i have taken on board all the comments so thanks anyway even if you could have been a little kinder

Why have you picked on me when multiple other people have said almost exactly the same thing? 🙄

Original poster
Mossey55 · 02/11/2025 17:04

Wonderlandwasallahoax
wow, I know I wanted honest opinions but please try and be a little more sensitive I don’t think I am hugely overreacting at all , in fact I am not reacting, I was just asking for others views but I had hoped they would be respectful and sensitive.
i have taken on board all the comments so thanks anyway even if you could have been a little kinder

OP posts:
WonderlandWasAllAHoax · 02/11/2025 16:13

You're hugely overreacting. Four months is nothing.

Doobedobe · 02/11/2025 16:13

Meeting the parents is a huge step in commitment. (If you aren't in your early teens).
Only should be done as the last step once you have decided you want to commit properly.
Siblings and friends are used early on to sense check you are not blinded by the thrill of a new relationship and actually dating someome completely unsuitable and crazy and they can fit into your every day life.

Dery · 02/11/2025 16:12

@GreyCarpet has nailed it. Meeting you as parents is more significant than meeting friends. Therefore, meeting friends will happen sooner.

Original poster
Mossey55 · 02/11/2025 16:09

I don’t pester her I’ve asked a couple of times but I have stopped asking now. Thank you I have taken in board all the comments on here and I appreciate the advice.

OP posts:
ResusciAnnie · 02/11/2025 16:00

It’s probably not that friend introduction is more important, it will be that it’s more casual. Meeting the parents may be more of a big deal. 4 months is no time for a grown mid-30s relationship!

BauhausOfEliott · 02/11/2025 15:59

Four months?! That’s hardly any time at all. You’re being way too intense.

SaySomethingMan · 02/11/2025 15:58

GreyCarpet · 02/11/2025 15:52

It's not about those people.being more important. If anything, it's the opposite.

Meeting parents can often signify the next level of commitment or seriousness which makes you the most important.

Friends and siblings just mean another person in the social circle. Parents can be an extra level of pressure and carries all the weight and expectation eg you hope it lasts.

Friends and siblings are only thinking about now and whether they like him. You are already thinking about the future.

I agree with this. I’d rather meet bf/gf when dc think the relationship is likely to be/ or is serious.

Original poster
Mossey55 · 02/11/2025 15:57

Thanks everyone for your honest opinions I really appreciate them all and I actually do feel better about it now. I get what you mean, I never thought of it like that. Xx

OP posts: