Still waiting to meet DDs boyfriend if 4 months

4 months is very early to meet the parents. Generally I think meeting someone's parents is a big statement of commitment so maybe they are not ready for that yet even if things are going well. Meeting friends and siblings is much more casual. When I was first dating my husband he met my friends and sister quite early on at drinks/ parties etc but I didn't introduce him to my parents until maybe a year in! I think I met his Mum around the 8 months mark. For context, I am very close to my parents and value their opinion greatly! Dont over think it OP xxx

YABU. Meeting friends first is perfectly normal, meeting parents carries a lot more pressure.

DD had been with her BF for 10 months before I met him and nearly a year before DH met him. The second time DH met him, they announced that they were engaged.

That’s extreme

she wasn’t at your wedding 😢

To be honest OP I've been feeling a bit the same with my 40 year old Dd and her 6 month relationship. She did send me a photo though. She has always been secretive though and we never met her last boyfriend she had for a year over a year ago. She has let him meet some friends and has met his brother
When they get to a certain age you just hope they have found someone that makes them happy long-term.

I would be put out in your shoes, OP.

I think it's quite normal to meet each others friends before parents. Your daughter has only been dating this man for 4 months, it's still early days. She may feel better you meeting him once they've reached the 6 month mark or even longer. Meeting parents is definitely considered more of a sign of a 'serious relationship'. I wouldn't be introducing my parents to a man, I've been dating 4 months, I'd want to see where the relationship goes first. Plus the fact if your daughter suddenly starts saying to her relatively new boyfriend about meeting her parents, he could start thinking that it's going a bit too quick. Your daughter will introduce her boyfriend when she feels ready to do so, and if she thinks enough of him. My parents never met every boyfriend I had!

How have you been when you've met her other boyfriends? I only ask because my mother was very disapproving of one I had when I was 16, so my solution was to never introduce her to another.
She met DH for the 1st time after we'd been married for 3 months

You'd hate me then, I've been with my partner 18 months and one of my parents still hasn't met him, we have a tricky relationship anyway and they immediately put pressure on me to arrange a meeting rather than ooh i dont know, say normal things like 'how nice! What do they do' etc, and continue to make repeated passive aggressive 'gentle reminder' comments. Going to stretch it out for as long as possible, because feeling entitled to meeting someone is honestly just weird self important behaviour, and I just dont want to play the game this time.
They only want to meet them because thats 'the done thing' because they think having not met them will make them look bad in front of their friends, its not out of any genuine interest in my partner.

I do not understand the whole 'meeting the parents' big step thing. Admittedly i haven't had a lot of relationships but my two serious bf's meeting my parents happened almost by chance. My first we used to meet outside but one day it rained so i just took him to my place, I lived with my parents at them time and i knew his already cos i was friend with his sister. My current (now husband) i met at uni and he happened to have an American football game near my home town and i was homesick, so he offered to drive me home for the weekend if we could offer him bed and board. I met his within days cos i came up in conversation with his Mum, he had taken me to his house while his parents were away and he told her that Barney (his cat) made a new friend.

You are just being ridiculous and not thinking things through properly. How can you possibly compare meeting your partner's friends with meeting her parents?
They are completely different situations.
I waited one year until I was ready to meet my in-laws.
Give your head a wobble, lovely.

Meeting the parents is a huge step and signals the next stage. They might not be ready for that yet. It's not personal.

Ask for a pic instead.

Also don't be jealous of your DC who has met the bf. Again, it's not personal.

I mean, you've just proved my point? 🤦‍♀️😅

Cruel?
🤦‍♀️
The way you've immediately jumped to being offended about your DD's partner and now yourbsayinf someone is cruel for saying your over reacting...... can you see maybe why your daughter doesn't want to introduce her partner to you yet?
You sound very dramatic

I didn't comment on your daughters actions 😅

Does she live with you, @Mossey55 ? DS met his girlfriend just over a year ago. We met briefly when we were at the same event, but haven’t spent any time together apart from that! She’s coming for Christmas though.

OP how did they meet? For my generation (30s) meeting online is quite normal but this means that you don’t have shared connections to get to know each other. Meeting friends is the way you see what they are like with other people, do they have a secret personality they have been hiding etc. Meeting parents is a much more symbolic thing so I don’t know anyone who does this without being super serious about the bf/gf.

I think that's a bit unfair. OP felt upset, then she changed her view in light of other perspectives. Then she not unreasonably got a bit fed up of people still going on about it after she'd said she understands

Based on your responses on this thread, you habitually overreact to perfectly normal behaviour by other people.

ooh, a live flounce