All-girls school

My local school is all girls. I was quite anti this when dd1 was your dd's age but mellowed over time and dd1 ended up going there. I think it's actually been a positive for her. She's 14 now and doesn't have any interest in boys (she may be gay but equally may just not be interested yet). There's a lot to come to terms with just finding yourself as a teen and not having to worry about whether you're fanciable to your fellow pupils etc has been a relief, especially with social media heightening the angst around this. She might well go to a mixed 6th form but she'll have skipped over the most awkward teen years by then.

Dd2 is about to go to secondary school and I've put a girls' school as first preference for her too, though would be happy with our second choice which is mixed.

Girls do better academically in single sex schools. They’re more confident in subjects traditionally considered ‘male’ and don’t have to fight to have their ideas heard or use the equipment. Far from handicapping them, I think it gives them a boost.

The idea that all girls who go to girls’ schools don’t mix with boys and are gauche and incapable is rubbish. Many, many single sex grammar schools and private schools have a boys’ equivalent to the girls’ school. We often held mixed schools social events. We also sometimes swapped schools to take advantage of particular equipment or to attend events taking place. Obviously, we also went out to parties, clubs, etc etc, and met loads of boys.

I went to a girls school and I’m very glad I did. It didn’t really matter to me at the time that it was single sex, but afterwards I realised how confident it had made me. It certainly didn’t affect my relationships with boys and men.

There was very little bullying and we could spend the day in peace, not worrying about going to the toilet or sports or anything. There were no stupid, humiliating comments about our changing bodies or sneering or anything like what my friends suffered at their mixed schools.

It was just a really nice atmosphere, with a confidence-building, aspirational ethos. So, I’d say YABU, OP.

For bright girls that are interested in stem, and to avoid the distractions of boys, an all girls school can not be beaten.

We found no bullying whatsoever at our DDs school, none at all. The school to be fair were all over it, so it never had the chance to flourish.

Girls get better grades in all girls schools , especially in maths.
Yes she/you will have to make the effort to socialise with boys. It’s never really been a problem at all for us.

I think of the horrors of up-skirting, social media, misogyny and the total disrespect some teen boys display, not to mention the impact on grades it does make girls schools very, very appealing, great friendships are generally formed too.

You could look at research from the international coalition of girls’ schools to help your decision. https://girlsschools.org/advocacy/why-girls-schools/

Dd attended a girls school from 14 to 18 and she loved it. I think at the age she attended most girls had found their group and there was no pressure to fit in with other groups and you were accepted for who you were- no bullying, no unpleasantness.

Baroness Warnock: "There is an air of sanctuary in a girls'school".

Anyone who has been inside one knows she is right.

I was in an all girls school and even girls college. Had a fantastic experience. No complaints at all. I was a bit shy to talk to guys at first but that has never been an issue or impacted on my social life in any way.

We didn’t have a significant bullying issue / lots of anorexia either, so that isn’t necessarily the case with all-girls.

Depends what "social skills" they're learning.

I went to an all-girls school and although I had some issues with the school itself, I did like that girls were encouraged to do whatever subjects we wanted - participation in science / maths at A level was particularly high for the time. This didn’t always seem to be the case for friends at the mixed schools.

I did have activities outside of school where I mixed with boys, though. I wouldn’t have wanted to go to university / out into the working world with no social experience with the opposite sex.

I went to an all girls grammar school in the mid 1980s. I passed the 11+ (just) & really struggled academically & was bullied as well. Girls can be incredibly bitchy, at any school, but with all girls it really wasn’t nice.

He’s right. He knows what teenage boys are like. They are like that.

What a very misogynistic comment.

Id be more concerned at your DH

He doesnt know "what boys are like" - he knows what he was like and he alone.

Red flag

What is your alternative? I think in mixed-sex secondary schools unfortunately there will always be a degree of unacceptable harassment and "banter" that crosses the line, so the question is - is your local coed school good at stamping down on it and protecting the girls in their care?

I would speak to parents with daughters there to find out about this, otherwise I agree with your DH. Girls should be entitled to a safe space at school to learn and develop in.

Keep in mind:

Single sex education doesn’t mean single sex life. You can go to a girls school, be a Scout, volunteer at the local steam railway etc etc.

Or you can go to a mixed school, do ballet, and be a girl guide.

Girls can be very very nasty. I have 2 daughters and a son none will go to same sex school I think it’s healthy for children to be around both and learn social skills that way

I can only speak anecdotally but the girls schools near us growing up (and which joined our for various social / sporting events etc) had a serious bullying issue and (without trying to sound perjorative) the girls were really odd and absolutely boy-frenzied. Just one example though! Other schools may not have had the same issues.

Academically girls do better at an all girls school.

I went to a coed amd it wasn't usual fir girls to start being sexually active at 13.

So my lived experience is that your husband is right about boys.

Our DD went to a super selective all girls grammar. She loved it and thrived. Most except boys at 6th form. None of the girls seem to struggle talking to boys from what I saw. They got an amazing education and mine excelled in the STEM fields. Would they at a mixed school? We will never know

Single sex settings typically deliver the better outcomes for girls, increased self-confidence, and better performance in male dominated subject such as maths and science. Taking into account earlier sexual initiation amongst teens, earlier exposure to pornography amongst male peers, and body image pressures and the cyber bullying prevalent with widespread use of social media, I would strongly advise a single sex setting for girls.

I did both. Girls schools usually mean better academic results for girls. Mixed is better for boys.

Now I have a DS, I am reminded of the shit that girls have to put up with in the early teens years from boys. I wouldn't wish that on a DC at all and if was in your position I would happily put her in a girls school so she can focus on her education.

I never had any issue with interacting with boys or men but find women trickier. So, it didn't help or hinder with either of those. It just meant that I got an education without fights, boys shouting each other down or just being generally disruptive. Was also pleased that there was no concern about what the girls looked like going to school, whereas stories I've heard from people who went to mixed high schools sounds exhausting with girls judged on their looks and clothing, etc. I wouldn't want DC to be spending brain time on that crap.

Ditto. For most of the time I was at my school there were no male teachers at all. Every teacher there was a graduate, so they were excellent role models (it was a very academic school, most of proceeded to higher education or professional training). There was no sense that science and maths were for boys or that art, languages etc were for girls. In the sixth form about half the year group did all or mostly science A levels. I know from school reunions that the vast majority of us ended up married or in long-term relationships with men, so the lack of boys at school doesn't seem to have held us back in that way.

I went to a girls school. Sciences were taught very well.
It was good not going thru puberty with boys around and the school was more nurturing in general.
I had no problem going into a mixed sixth form and having chosen stem subjects I was the only girl in 2 of my classes and one of only 3 in the other.

I would also caution against conflating parental experiences and current ones. DD and her pals don’t seem to be especially interested in boys at all, and they’re not bitchy or competitive.