Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this greedy?

44 replies

ellie09 · 01/11/2025 22:35

DP and I decided to have a "pig out" night while watching some TV last night.

I went out and bought some snacks - he then was out and about and brought home some chocolate for us to share.

He had commented that he bought this chocolate because he knows its my favourite. It was one of those big share bars.

Now, there was quite a lot of snacks so I said we should save some for another day and it happened to be the chocolate he had bought.

Went looking for this chocolate today as fancied a bit with a cuppa tonight, and couldn't find it, so asked DP had he put it away.

DP tells me he ate it all during the course of the day. Without even offering me a bit.

AIBU to feel a bit hurt by this, as trivial as it sounds, considering I shared all the snacks I bought but he has took the opportunity to eat a whole share bar he bought for us, which happens to be my favourite?

Obviously I can go out and get my own, but its more so the underlying action behind it all? I just find it rather greedy.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
phantomofthepopera · 07/11/2025 11:36

This is a cardinal sin in my eyes. There’s nothing worse than looking forward to something all day, only to find out some greedy bastard has snaffled the lot and not saved a crumb for anyone else.

Idstillratherbepaddleboarding · 07/11/2025 07:30

This reply has been withdrawn

Post withdrawn at author's request

cordeliavorkosigan · 07/11/2025 07:00

Cleaning cupboard. Brilliant. Happily, it's more DH going in there than me. Off to see if there's any chocolate at the back. 😁

Barney16 · 04/11/2025 09:26

If I want chocolate to last more than twenty minutes I buy white chocolate which I love and DP hates. You should have hidden it OP, sometimes you have to be devious.

WellSurely · 04/11/2025 09:22

Arlanymor · 01/11/2025 22:41

I think if it's in your cupboards then it's just a matter of who gets to it first really.

That’s how it works in our house.

ComfortFoodCafe · 04/11/2025 09:20

You both sound greedy.

Walkacrossthesand · 04/11/2025 09:15

When I had teens at home, I found the ideal place to hide non perishable treats was at the back of the cleaning products cupboard - zero chance of them coming across it there!

BauhausOfEliott · 04/11/2025 00:22

It’s just a bar of chocolate. Get a grip.

Mere1 · 03/11/2025 23:13

ellie09 · 01/11/2025 22:35

DP and I decided to have a "pig out" night while watching some TV last night.

I went out and bought some snacks - he then was out and about and brought home some chocolate for us to share.

He had commented that he bought this chocolate because he knows its my favourite. It was one of those big share bars.

Now, there was quite a lot of snacks so I said we should save some for another day and it happened to be the chocolate he had bought.

Went looking for this chocolate today as fancied a bit with a cuppa tonight, and couldn't find it, so asked DP had he put it away.

DP tells me he ate it all during the course of the day. Without even offering me a bit.

AIBU to feel a bit hurt by this, as trivial as it sounds, considering I shared all the snacks I bought but he has took the opportunity to eat a whole share bar he bought for us, which happens to be my favourite?

Obviously I can go out and get my own, but its more so the underlying action behind it all? I just find it rather greedy.

You both sound greedy.

Ilovehighlandcows · 02/11/2025 06:41

When DH inhales snacks before I get chance, he says he's 'saving me calories' 😂

QuizzlyBears · 02/11/2025 06:33

It’s chocolate, go buy some more. Presumably you didn’t have a whole discussion about a portion of it being saved for you if he ate it later on?

Also - not the question, but YABU using the term ‘pig out.’ Language like that is so damaging, just enjoy a treat/snacky dinner for what it is. You don’t need to give it a gross name like that to somehow validate what you’re eating.

Rubyupbeat · 02/11/2025 04:19

Just go and buy another.

cityanalyst678 · 02/11/2025 04:08

I get given lots of chocolate at work. My husband seems to eat most of it. No big deal, I can always buy more. I do actually know of people who hide chocolate, mainly because they don’t want people knowing how much they eat, so if this bothers you, you could do the same!

BoxesBoxesEverywhere · 02/11/2025 03:59

Arlanymor · 01/11/2025 22:41

I think if it's in your cupboards then it's just a matter of who gets to it first really.

Yeah sorry but this
As we say in this house "you snooze, you lose" 😁

JMSA · 02/11/2025 03:58

As a previous poster said, it depends what he’s like normally. Obviously it’s not great if part of a pattern of selfish behaviour. But as a stand-alone action, it’s really not that bad.
We all have our moments of self-indulgence! And I’m sure he can buy you more.

Fivegreenfrogs · 02/11/2025 03:55

I think it's really wierd to morally police other people's eating.
Of course it's fine to want to save something for yourself for later but you need to be clear about that if you share a house with someone. I would always directly say 'please don't eat this I'm saving it' or 'please leave me half of this' etc.
I would absolutely not be labelling anyone 'greedy' as that's such a wierd emotive controlling thing to say.
I'd be pissed off if I'd asked for something to not be eaten and it had been, because my wishes would have been ignored.
But I do think it's odd to have unspoken exodctatikns and values regarding what another adult should or should not be eating.

cordeliavorkosigan · 02/11/2025 03:50

I get it. I like ice cream but only once in a while. DH has some many evenings a week. With chocolate I can just not exactly hide it but put it in a slightly unusual bit of the cupboard so it's more likely no one has come across it and snarfled it by the time I want a bit. But ice cream has to be, obviously, in the freezer.
Have once hidden it under the big bag of frozen cherries everyone hated. Worked well for a time. Then they found it.
I'd feel the same as you op. Especially annoying when it's your favourite and gone in only one day!

FatalCattraction · 02/11/2025 03:43

Yes, it is, this is why I take my share early on and hide it as DP has no so self awareness of eating all the crisps chocolate biscuits. He’s a greedy pig.

Hallywally · 02/11/2025 00:39

Do you only get chocolate once a year? Was it really expensive chocolate? Just buy yourself some more and have it yourself.

CantBreathe90 · 01/11/2025 23:22

There's an 100% chance any chocolate in our house, will be gone by the evening, unless I hide it.

I do sometimes get a bit exasperated. But on those occasions I send DP off to the shops to get more 🤷‍♀️

lalalapland · 01/11/2025 23:21

Non issue. Certainly not one to argue over. Maybe tell him you wanted some and he can pick more up. Not a big deal imo

Splendidbouquet · 01/11/2025 23:08

TheZanyZebra · 01/11/2025 22:58

are people living with others that petty that they must ask permission or at least inform the rest of the household when they are eating something? Who's got time for that!

It's in the cupboard or the fridge, it's fair game, unless someone has said : please don't eat this - for any reason.

Just write down that something needs to be bought if you have finished it, no big deal.

It's not about being petty. It's actually just caring about the people you live with.

If it's bought for 2 people to share - as this was- you eat your half and leave the rest.

No need to ask permission. I'd just say I've eaten my half so the rest is yours.

Eating the whole thing is totally selfish.

jelllyontheplate · 01/11/2025 22:59

Splendidbouquet · 01/11/2025 22:54

It's actually about being selfish and not giving a damn about anyone else but yourself.

Cool.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 01/11/2025 22:59

Splendidbouquet · 01/11/2025 22:54

It's actually about being selfish and not giving a damn about anyone else but yourself.

Well he brought it because it was her favourite and they were going to share it

And she rejected it

Not exactly selfish to me

TheZanyZebra · 01/11/2025 22:58

Splendidbouquet · 01/11/2025 22:54

It's actually about being selfish and not giving a damn about anyone else but yourself.

are people living with others that petty that they must ask permission or at least inform the rest of the household when they are eating something? Who's got time for that!

It's in the cupboard or the fridge, it's fair game, unless someone has said : please don't eat this - for any reason.

Just write down that something needs to be bought if you have finished it, no big deal.