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AIBU?

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Original poster

To kick DH off 'his' TV and watch it?

64 replies

PrincessOfPreschool · 01/11/2025 22:19

DH watches a lot of TV and loves it. For his 50th he bought himself a nice, big TV with money given by family and some work vouchers. We only have the one TV in the house though we do have lap tops/ PC's/ phones where we can access Netflix, Prime etc.

DD and I have been watching Bakeoff and kicking him off the TV for one hour on a Tuesday to watch it together. He is always a bit grumbly and makes us feel bad. But it is the only time we do this so I try not to feel guilty. He just sits there on his phone for the full hour until it's over then takes the TV back.

Anyway, tonight he was out so DD and I watched a film and then Strictly together and it felt so nice to sit in the living room on the sofa and watch something. I realised I don't really like watching things on my mobile in bed but that is what I tend to do when I get time.

So AIBU to watch more on 'his' TV, which just happens to be in the living room? We don't really like watching anything similar. He watches sport, films and reality TV like BGT or quiz shows. I don't like the same sorts of films or reality TV (only Bakeoff and Bee) and prefer watching series. Basically he dislikes 'my' stuff and I dislike his. Occasionally we watch something all together as a family but it's rare.

So, AIBU to insist on watching 'my' stuff since it's his TV? Or is he BU for begrudging me time to watch things in our living room?

OP posts:
sittingonabeach · 02/11/2025 11:09

@GasPanic but he has put it in a shared family space, so has to assume it will be shared

GasPanic · 02/11/2025 11:04

dimension2025 · 02/11/2025 10:56

What a weird take on the whole situation

Show quote history

Yeah. How weird that someone should be able to buy something with their own money and not expect the rest of the world to be able to grab it at will.

Either it's his money and his TV and he can do what he wants with it, or it is family money and it belongs to the family.

What's weirder is that if everyone wants to watch TV, then get a family TV.

Because that's what just about everyone else in the world does.

Coffeeishot · 02/11/2025 10:58

dimension2025 · 02/11/2025 10:56

What a weird take on the whole situation

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I think they are poking us with a "stick "

dimension2025 · 02/11/2025 10:57

The husband sounds utterly ghastly and very selfish, even all the TV watching would give me the ick

Coffeeishot · 02/11/2025 10:57

Oh @GasPanic the poor man eh !

dimension2025 · 02/11/2025 10:56

GasPanic · 02/11/2025 10:54

This is horrible.

You aren't bothered about having a TV.

Your husband decides he does, and buys one with his own birthday money.

You then discover you like the TV, so think it is OK to kick him off his TV whenever ?

What you should do :

If you want a family TV buy it out of family money, and everyone has equal claim to it. You can get a 24" Tv for £69 !

So if you want this, either buy a family TV and refund your husbands money so he can get something else for his birthday. Or he can choose to buy a second TV for another room so you can both watch what you want when you want.

But to unilaterally decide that his birthday present should become a family resource is wrong.

What a weird take on the whole situation

GasPanic · 02/11/2025 10:54

This is horrible.

You aren't bothered about having a TV.

Your husband decides he does, and buys one with his own birthday money.

You then discover you like the TV, so think it is OK to kick him off his TV whenever ?

What you should do :

If you want a family TV buy it out of family money, and everyone has equal claim to it. You can get a 24" Tv for £69 !

So if you want this, either buy a family TV and refund your husbands money so he can get something else for his birthday. Or he can choose to buy a second TV for another room so you can both watch what you want when you want.

But to unilaterally decide that his birthday present should become a family resource is wrong.

Coffeeishot · 02/11/2025 10:38

I can't get over him and "his" tv sitting grumpy that you dare want to watch a bloody programme what a prick ! We watch programmes that we each don't like but either leave the room or just sit faffing on our phones, your poor Dd seeing her father begrudge her a bit of enjoyment for an hour in the week !

rwalker · 02/11/2025 10:35

Buy another tele

I think the fact it was passed off as his 50th present does give the impression it’s his
but that isn’t really practical in family life

Sockdays · 02/11/2025 10:35

Your poor child.
Do you really not get how messed up this is and what a selfish arsehole your husband is?

You are modelling a really toxic selfish relationship.

Is this what you want for your daughter?
A selfish oaf for a husband.

TinselAngel · 02/11/2025 10:34

PrincessOfPreschool · 01/11/2025 22:44

Before he bought one, he was still the main 'watcher' but I think I didn't feel so bad chucking him off every so often as it was just the family TV. I think he watched less too as it was in an open plan space, very noisy, bad lighting etc. With some minor renovations, we switched with the dining room and the TV is now in a nice, quiet room, great lighting. Also, kids were younger, we watched more together. I think we've now fallen into this 'routine' where the TV and living room are 'his' space and we are welcome to join him there. He does share on the rare occasion someone wants to watch, but I feel he is a bit annoyed about it, or feels like he's doing us a favour - when actually, as so many of you have pointed out, it's a family space. I only realised the freedom I felt tonight when he wasn't there and DD and I could sit down and enjoy it 'guilt' free, without him hovering and waiting for us to finish.

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Can you put another TV in the room where the old one used to be?

Fitzcarraldo353 · 02/11/2025 10:30

I assume you had a TV in the living room before in which case this is a replacement/upgrade of the family TV. You say he grumbles a bit but also that a lot of this is you feeling guilty or bad because you feel it's his TV. You need to reframe it for yourself. He upgraded the family TV with the money he got. Hurray for everyone. No guilt required.

AquaForce · 02/11/2025 10:29

My parents didn't like any of the same programs. In 1986 my mother decided she was not sitting through another world cup and bought my father a portable TV. He set up camp in the dining room and never came back.

It's nearly 40 years since my parents sat in the same room. Very sad that TV did this to my family but it's the preferred companion to each other.

Too much screen time hasn't just emerged as a problem in recent times.

PollyBell · 02/11/2025 10:28

So what did you do before he bought the TV, this all sounds too complicated to be worth it

bigboykitty · 02/11/2025 10:26

I think your H's massive TV would go perfectly in a bedsit and that is where he should be living. What a cunt!

Shinyandnew1 · 02/11/2025 10:23

I can't imagining someone 'owning' the main TV and having to throw each other off it to watch a program. If it's in a shared space, surely it's for everyone and you have a normal conversation about who wants to watch what?! If he wants his own special telly, he should have it in another room!

ItIsNotTheDog · 02/11/2025 10:16

Is he happy in life? Sounds a bit depressing just watching tv all the time in his free time.

sittingonabeach · 02/11/2025 10:12

How much parenting has he done over the years?

whatawalley · 02/11/2025 10:12

He's a selfish prick.

CareerCoachingAdvice · 02/11/2025 10:11

Are you financially in a position to buy another TV? You can get them fairly cheaply. I mean he sounds horrible but unless you are going to leave him, I'd be looking to set up an alternative place for you and DD to comfortably watch what you want.

ShesTheAlbatross · 02/11/2025 10:09

He sounds really unpleasant.

deeahgwitch · 02/11/2025 10:01

WonderlandWasAllAHoax · 02/11/2025 09:55

Your "D"H is an arsehole.

Yes he is.
Is there another room you could put a decent tv in downstairs, for you and your dd ?
That’s if you want to stay with the said ars*hole.

WonderlandWasAllAHoax · 02/11/2025 09:55

Your "D"H is an arsehole.

Original poster
PrincessOfPreschool · 02/11/2025 09:55

Sorry, quoted wrong person there! Was replying to person asking how much he watches...

OP posts:
Original poster
PrincessOfPreschool · 02/11/2025 09:53

Topjoe19 · 02/11/2025 09:08

This is awful. My DH got a posh telly for his big birthday, he would never behave like that (mainly because I would divorce him if he did & buy my own fuck off telly).

How much TV? A lot. He works pretty hard, we eat together as a family and he does the washing up. But other than that, he watches TV. He starts work early (mostly from home) so he's often watching from 5.30pm to 10.30pm/11.00pm and then about half of Sat and Sun.

OP posts: