Friend dumps junk on me

Dear Friend,
Please could you come to my house and remove items X,Y and Z that you left me. I have no space for them and I have no use for them. It’s very hard with my baby for me to dispose of them so I need you to come and take them back and dispose of your things yourself.
thanks, OP

this person isn’t your friend btw

When I was with my XH his family would do a whole loft clearance and dump it on us in bin bags telling him to take out anything he wants and then the rest to a charity shop or the dump if he “wanted to”. The whole of his family would dump their junk and his friends. If anyone was getting rid of a sofa, he was their first port of call. We even had mouldy bamboo shelves at one point. He wouldn’t say no, but he didn’t want it either. It became a huge problem. Oh, even broken down cars were often left on our front drive too, waiting to be fixed or taken to the scrap heap.

I would do this. Rope in a sympathetic person to help you if necessary. Dump it all on her doorstep so she's confronted by it when she opens her front door. Don't feel guilty in the slightest, she doesn't feel guilty about dumping it on you!

Once you've done it, if she complains you can say "Now you know how I feel! Stop bringing me your rubbish!" Ditch her if she doesn't stop, friends don't treat each other this way.

(In our borough you can take fridges to the tip for free but you must take it to the correct one, otherwise the tip guys will just tell you they don't take them, Xx is the correct site. And thankful I am, or fly tipping would be worse!)

If you want to keep the friendship I'd just take the fridge back, explain that it would cost you money to get rid of and you don't think that's fair for you to pay to get rid of her rubbish. This is the absolute least you should do in my opinion. If you don't care that much about keeping her as a friend absolutely load the car up with everything else as well and dump it all back.

I’ve heard this referred to as hoarding by proxy, can’t quite bring themselves to get rid of something fully so pass it on and then if the person it’s passed onto does get rid properly it reduces the guilt.
Definitely take the fridge back to her explaining that you don’t want it, never wanted it and weren’t asked if you wanted it therefore you are dropping it back to her so she can dispose of it properly. Then say that you won’t be accepting any more hand downs from her and never let any more items cross your threshold.

It’s not don’t let her leave without it anymore, do not let her in with it

'No, I don't want or need this junk. Stop bringing it to me.'

OP is not to blame for the other woman’s behaviour but she is responsible for keeping a ‘friendly’ relationship with someone who repeatedly upsets and inconveniences her. It’s not a question of person being wrong and the other right.

Just stop seeing her.

I’d really not soften the blow in any way. I think you need to take it all back tomorrow and leave it all on the doorstep without ringing the bell. Leave it to her to contact you.

Do you really need this friendship? It’s very unbalanced - she does not respect you

How is she even getting through the door with this stuff? I would say "you can leave that in the car, you're not bringing it in here". It's odd that you just watch her bring her rubbish (a broken fridge!!) into your house!

Or the Clangers!

Definitely meet up at a park next time. ‘I really can’t manage disposing of all the stuff you bring when it’s at my house so let’s meet at a park.’

You're letting her come through your front door WITH A FRIDGE???

No it’s not, stop victim blaming. This is a problem entirely of the CF’s making. She’s the one doing the actions that are creating the problem. OP has struggled to stick up for herself, that does not make her responsible for this woman’s behaviour.

Take it ALL back to her!!

Take it back to her house and just leave it on the doorstep. If she asks say you couldn't use it and you couldn't get to the tip.

I had a women who used to do this to me. She started leaving it on my doorstep because I wouldn't let her leave it with me. It was particularly annoying as I didn't drive at the time and it was bin bags worth of shit. I do think I just stopped hanging out with her in the end as it annoyed me so much.

I'd get a quote and tell her this is how much I've been quoted to take your things to the tip. Either clear them yourself, or I'll be giving your name and address for invoicing.

I don't think that's legally standing but hopefully will wake her up a bit.

My Mum does this... It goes from - I was clearing the fridge out (having to bin her mouldy fruit and veg) to clearing the cupboards out (at which daughter and I would play - who could find the most out of date tins!) to clearing her out date meds out (fuck off Mum!)
She's still got all her marbles, she had me at 19 and I've only just turned 50.
Another classic - my Aunt had bought a btl flat... Mum took all the carpet scraps off her in case I wanted them and dumped them all on me!

My Mum lives in a 500k house and retired early because she can afford to. She looks back on when she was brassic in the mid to late 70s and assumes I want any old shite!

I'm free cycling furniture that was free cycled to me that is better quality than the stuff she dumps on me.

Plus she drives a new Kia Sportage.

I can't drive because I'm disabled, so I'm just left with it 😭

@MyameVyce Tell your friend you've fucking had enough now and she's being a cheeky bitch. Don't take - I was only trying to help as an excuse. Go nuclear.

Put it in a bag, leave it on her doorstep. Send a text saying “Thanks for the things. Sorry but I really couldn’t use them so I dropped it back to you on my way out today.”

Yes, take it all back and stop inviting her round 😅. If you do end up having her round again make it clear she’s not to bring anything with her. If she does then that would definitely be the last time. Please update when you have delivered the items

This. I agree she is not a friend.

Drop it back at hers, and in future don’t meet up at your home.

Don’t let her over your threshold with stuff. When she knocks send her back to her car with her junk before she comes in.

Do this. If your council has an online flytip reporting thing, I'd use it. As she basically refused to pick up for three weeks and has done this against your will.

Horrible woman, don't let her back in, I hope you never see her again.