Should guising/trick or treating have an upper age limit..?

Kids aren’t that daft. Plus, the conversation has long moved from “stranger danger” only to, and rightly so , when most children are at risk from people they know.

My daughter and her teenage friends went out with me and then another parent swapped in. We talked about if she could go out without an adult and then she decided she wasn’t ready which was a relief to her friend as then she could say she wasn’t ready either.

Probably relevant that my daughter is autistic and is a young 12, but I don’t need to see proof of disability if other teenagers want to enjoy being silly. The rest of the year I navigate endless hordes of vaping, drinking, aggressive teenagers so having one night of silly children dressed up in funny costumes is a great break.

Are there many instances of children being attacked/kidnapped/assaulted during trick or treating?

My 14 year old went with 2 friends, they all dressed up. I think it’s partly the novelty of being allowed to go without a parent! They are respectful and well behaved so I don’t see an issue with it. I’m just grateful they are still happy to be kids. So many teenagers want to be adults!!

I get very nervous around groups of older teenagers at night, especially when they're hooded and masked! This is because I have been attacked by teenagers in the past (not Halloween related) and received verbal abuse from them on many occasions. I know there are lots of nice teenagers in the world, I spend time regularly with many of them. But out at night I can't tell if a group is nice or not and I'd rather feel safe just walking home in my own neighbourhood, you know?

I definitely won't be the only person in this category. This must be a very stressful time for a lot of vulnerable people.

Re. “Stranger danger” I kind of feel children should have adults with them at all times for trick or treating, so they’re not talking to these strangers alone.

And if they think they’re too old to dress up and have their mum or dad trail around after them, then they are too old for any of it and can sit trick or treating out.

I don’t mind older teens out with their younger siblings if the parents can’t do it though. That tends to have a very different vibe from groups of 13 year olds trick or treating for themselves.

I think it is behaviour rather than age.

Properly dressed up, keeping in the spirit, being polite and friendly - no problem.

Wearing just a mask, being grabby - no thank you.

Groups of large teens can be very intimidating, I'd rather have 2 groups of 4 than 1 group of 8.

My youngest really enjoyed it when she was 13&14 as she finally had some friends to go with, but they were all small and young for their age so didn't look at all out of place.

Would you teach them to cross the road with exceptions - ok look left look right wait for no cars then go. Or look left look right but if there’s a red car you can just run into the road beachside they’ll probably stop in time

It’s also a confusing message for kids and undermines the don’t talk to strangers, don’t got to a strangers house, don’t accept sweets from strangers. Ok they put out a pumpkin forget all of the safety stuff and crack on. Putting exceptions into safety advice defeats the purpose of the advice

I think once they are old enough to go without their parents they are too old.

What? My youngest is in Y8 and went out with friends, all dressed up. I saw half her class across the evening - all very smiley and polite.

Autistic DD and her friend (Y10) also went out - I’m so glad they were treated well by our neighbours too.

Your little kids will be young teenagers eventually. What would you want for them? Childhood doesn’t have to stop at 11…

I agree. How devastated would you be if something serious happened to your child... and in the investigation report, you began by saying "Well, I sent my child out and told them to knock on lots of strangers' doors to ask for treats...' ?

I'd assume that, considering that paedophiles will often go to great effort to try to get themselves into jobs or volunteering roles where they will have access to children, they probably gleefully look forward to Hallowe'en as their very favourite night/weekend of the year - when the children will actually come out to them in their own homes.

Obviously, the vast, vast majority of people are harmless and just see it as fun; but how can you possibly know which one isn't?

Do you just mean outside lights or ALL of your lights?

Surely you aren't expected to sit in your own home all evening and grope around in the dark, just to indicate to passing children that they won't get any treats from you?!

Tbh I think it’s time it died a death. What other night of the year would you actively encourage your child to a knock on a strangers door or take sweets from a stranger seems mad to encourage kids to do this given the number of weirdos out there

We had them empty the bucket we left out last year but by then the little ones had already been round and its none of my business who takes it, as long as it goes. Taking the whole thing in one go is just how some kids enjoy it 🤷‍♀️ once it's gone, it's gone.

That makes sense if you have a bucket of sweets for each caller, and they then enjoy their own bucketful either by wolfing the lot instantly or ekeing them out over a week or two; but surely the bucket of sweets is for everybody?

If you're happy to say that it's a legitimate way to enjoy yourself - by taking everybody else's share too - does that apply in other circumstances? If a child/teen were at a party and decided they would enjoy themselves far more by taking the entire cake and scoffing it, rather than just a slice, is that OK? Are the others just expected to want to enjoy themselves by having no cake at all?!

What is T&T?

Goodness, Halloween when I was sixteen involved nightclubs (heavily costume makeup meant less likly to be ID'd) and MDMA. If their biggest sin is being greedy with the haribo, let them have it.

I’m kind of on the fence. We go to a different area of our city to trick or treat, but that’s because there aren’t many young families on our street. It’s mostly old ladies who live on their own, so we go to the street I grew up on because almost every house is a ‘pumpkin house!’. My children are 6, 4 and nearly 2, so still little. But my sibling is autistic and he absolutely loves Halloween. He comes trick or treating with us and people don’t mind him taking a sweet as he’s with the children. Me and my husband never take any (I imagine if it looked like the adults all wanted one too people might be less friendly!) but people are really nice about it. We only ever knock on houses that are decorated for Halloween, and I make sure my children always say thank you and happy Halloween. It makes me wonder what it will look like in less than 10 years though :( Childhood seems so short.

That's what I was wondering. Are we going to dish out fines? Make adult Halloween parties illegal?

It's so hard to say what the morivation was, isn't it? Stupid pranks by a still developing brain or consciously malicious. Maybe a bit of both. Regardless, it sounds awful. 💐

I felt very sad when DD no longer felt able to go out guising. She clearly wanted to, can’t remember what age exactly but early secondary school.

i would quite happily give sweets to older kids as long as they are polite.

I said that to her. She's far too soft. She just turned all the lights off and went to bed at 8 pm but didn't sleep. And the mess in the graveyard today was so sad to see. Especially as tomorrow is All Souls and lots will be coming to put flowers on the graves.

I'm sure they were just stupid teenagers messing about and wouldn't have harmed her in any way, but a big gang of them dressed up and invading someone's property isn't funny.

I don’t mind teens at all. I live in an area that is “up and coming” so I much prefer the teens knocking on the door than the mayhem that goes on later in the night,

it’s very hard to tell what age kids are anyway. Some of them at 12 are just very tall. There is a lovely girl with additional needs who is 16 near us and she loves it, I always keep her favourites. We have had no bad experiences.

My dc stopped at 12 of their own accord.
Rude teens pushing away children that hasn't happened here, where we live. Some teens (polite and giggly) come later on, about 8 pm, not when younger kids are out. I have no problem with teens trick or treating.

We trick or treat in our own neighbourhood, and many people will sit outside with a tray of treats to hand them out.

I personally told dd the cut off age is 12yo, I don’t like older teens knocking on the door 🤷‍♀️