Feeling a bit shaky after an encounter in Sainsbury's

Most people who work in hospitals dont its mainly only drs so they usually use fake names on social media or don't use social media. As retail staff do not give full names we don't need to name change or not have social media so where not prepared when that one weirdo comes along. Also the hospital know exactly who there patients are customers are complete strangers they could be anyone Do you honestly think its acceptable what op did?

That is odd. People that work in hospitals always have their full names displayed. Police don't have any at all.

I was with the OP at the start, sounds like the staff member was horrible and I've experienced similar adrenaline responses before with the shaking!

But the looking her up is weird! If she has such an unusual first name that she was easy to find then surely if you complain to Sainsbury's they'd know who was working that night even if it was a more common name? And if she graduated in 2020 that hardly shows she's inexperienced, she could have been there 5 years (or longer if she was working whilst studying) - how long would you have to do a job for you to deem someone to be experienced?

And this is the exact reason why we don't give surnames there is some scary people out there. I remember once serving a man he was clearly extremely mentally unwell and he was telling me he dreamed of me hanging from a tree naked. So why people are sticking up for op for looking up personal details of this employee just be considerate of the safety issues and fear that goes with that with working with the general public.

Firstly we have one side of the story secondly im not excusing the staff member if op felt unfairly treated absolutely complain but don't spend time searching her up on the internet finding out her full name and linkden and god knows what else. That crosses a massive line.

I imagine she was having a tough day. Just for context about what retail workers go through my teenage daughter who works some overtime shifts in a town centre local Sainsbury’s was threatened with r**e the other day when she asked a man to pay for his shopping. She was crying for quite a bit of her shift. Another colleague has refused to come in after having his life threatened. They literally can’t get the staff to stay as it’s a really challenging location.
Not excusing her attitude to you OP but perhaps helping with perspective?

But if staff did their job and weren’t aggressive - what’s the problem??

why are people excusing the staff member?

Good job.

Write a bad review on Google reviews mentioning her personally.

So why did you search her i thought it was to get her surname?

That's insane I've worked in retail for over 20 years and its always been a big thing never ever give out surnames. To many crazy people about.

I worked in retail pre-LinkedIn etc, was incredibly pissed off even we went from just first names on our badges to being told we had to have surnames as well. It wasn't considered safe then, the Suzy Lamplugh Trust advised against it, but management was more concerned about making it easier for staff to be complained about than our safety.

Yep i had a very similar thing happen to me just over three months ago.

But as of last week she was still working there. They dont seem to give a shit
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/legal_matters/5394731-wrongly-accused-of-shoplifting-and-harrassment

I have had very rude staff at my local and on one occasion is I was accused of not paying on a self-service checkout. The staff member yelled that I didn’t pay and a few customers turned to look at me. Very quickly it was proven I had paid as I had my online transaction and they saw the register history. I received no apology. I asked to speak to the manager and the manager backed up the staff member that yelled. I was shaken from that. Since then I always get a paper receipt, in case I get questioned or accused again.

I put in an online complaint and as far as I am aware, it went nowhere.

Don't be ridiculous, Mumsnetters never fart

So I'm silly and nasty for pointing out what you did was wrong are you sure the manager really had a go at you, you seem to be highly sensitive to people pointing out when you are in the wrong. Can you honestly not see how its not normal to go online and search up a strangers details in this situation. Did you also go on her Facebook, see what school her kids go to. This isn't normal behaviour and using her surname in your complaint will set of alarm bells as retail staff do not give out surnames for this exact reason

Apparently if a reaction seems disproportionate to the situation, it’s because it’s triggered a response to a different event (often but not always from childhood) which was, or felt, really genuinely threatening. Maybe you were triggered, or perhaps the manager was and your response was a reflection of her emotional state?

Shes sounds like a bellend having a bad day. Not your fault at all x

But why did you need to check? Surely if you’d complained with “I spoke with Lucy* at the X road store” that would be enough?

*other names are available

Maybe just complain to the store, the world is full of rude people, you're going to have to be much thicker skinned to get by.

Ffs! I still can’t believe Sainsbury’s is still getting prices and deals wrong. I worked for them nearly 30 years ago and it was a massive problem then.