To find DDs in-laws level of wealth overwhelming at times

This children with absolutely cherish the Centerparcs holiday memories! I bet they have more fun at them. I would probably feel uncomfortable around this too though. Just remember than money really isn’t everything!

If you can’t have a moan to your mum, who can you moan to?

Very British way of thinking though OP, crab-bucket attitude at its best!

In terms of the grandchildren, you absolutely should not worry. My parents are relatively wealthy, and my MIL is very much not. But my children very much love them equally, and have lots of rituals they love when they are with her (eg baking and decorating particular cakes with her, or doing a day trip to a theme park together, but also going to a 'pick your own' farm every year, and going to the woods to pick daffodils and build huts), and when we are with her, she spends hours actually playing with them (eg reading when they were younger, but now they are older she will literally spend hours playing various board games, hangman etc). And they are very much aware of this, and absolutely love it - no less than my parents who are also good grandparents, and much wealthier. There are also some 'money can't buy things' they get with her, like they play with the kids who live on her street, and she has other nephews and nieces they like to spend time with at her house.
So you need to stop comparing, NOT be apologetic, but focus on building rituals and traditions. I read somewhere that this is what children remember most about their childhoods. It's perfectly possible that the other grandparents take everyone to the Caribbean but then spend most of their time their at the bar or reading the paper.... !

And as concerns the holidays, my children have travelled a fair amount, and out of everywhere they have been, their 2 favourites are : South Africa (hard to beat safari, to be fair) and.... Wales!!! (we went during Covid, when we couldn't go elsehwere!). So the exotic destinations are not necessarily the best, it's about what you do there!

Finally - I agree with the other poster who says wealth is and feels relative. If your DD is surrounded by even wealthier peers, she may not feel that well off - in London, amongst prep school parents, a 2 million pound house is nothing out of the ordinary. Though if the mortgage is paid off, if they have decent jobs, I am surprised she is feeling the pinch that much!

I find this a bit shitty. You feel overwhelmed by the wealth but can’t imagine your daughter may feel the same? And they probably feel less than for not affording the more expensive prep, just like you do for not affording the Caribbean. Honestly going to CentreParcs and taking them all is fairly privileged so maybe she’s similar to you?

You can't help how you feel, it's natural to be overwhelmed sometimes but hang on to the important thing - you said yourself they are lovely people. That's what matters. So are you!

It’s time to feel a bit overwhelmed, so long as you’re not jealous. Your DD’s in law sounds like lovely and friendly people (my db would NEVER invite my in-laws to dinner), your grandDC will love you for who you are, DC are not bought by expensive holidays – they will love both sets of grandparents.

I’d just be happy my daughter and grandchildren were benefitting from it.

This is what I was about to say - everyone makes different contributions to their grandchildren's lives. Perhaps one side of the family is very sporty or the other very arty or scientific. Perhaps one side is gorgeous looking and the other very clever. Or one grandma or grandpa has time to spend with the children or gives money to start them. Everyone has something to add, something to give.

At least you can afford a holiday to Center Parcs OP. Just adding a wee bit perspective.

Three things in life are certain; death, taxes, and that nobody ever thinks they have enough money.

My brother married into a wealthy family and has benefited hugely from it. So have a couple of friends.

What’s hard from the outside is how quickly they forget that, frankly, luck (as well as love) have put them into that position. My brother in particular seems to think he’s made it all on his own, conveniently erasing the significant help he’s had, and looking down on people who have less.

Well, to be frank my darling, some people can only dream of holidaying in centre parcs, so, you're doing ok, relatively speaking x

If I started bemoaning the lack of a skiing trip or private school fees my Mum would be telling me to get a grip, she grew up in poverty and we certainly didn’t grow up in luxury, my parents worked hard and provided everything we needed but there was no holidays bar the odd trip camping.
In my experience my children have always liked doing the cheaper things, their favourite holiday consists of a cabin on the beach where they spend their time rock pooling and rummaging. They ask to go every year and yet there is no mod cons or tons of money spent on it.
Money doesn’t buy happiness, I would try not to be intimidated by it and hopefully your DD will stay more grounded.

I come from quite a prosperous family, not in the league you describe but we went on holiday to America in 70s as young children which wasn’t the norm at all. We also went to private schools including boarding schools.

We did love Disney etc but my brother and I both treasured our Whit week holidays with a group of mums and children at Butlins Filey. Honestly it was just the best! Our accommodation was determined by the budget of the least well off that year so one year we had a chalet with no toilet or bathroom, there was a communal sanitation block for those rows 😂. We never reached the dizzying heights of the chalets with colour TV, central heating and carpets even though we knew of their existence, as children we couldn’t give a shit.

I bet your grandchildren will adore Centre Parks, although as an aside, are you sure it will be cheaper than the Caribbean? 😂

I’ve never been because I nearly fainted at the prices.

No matter how rich you are, there’s always someone richer. We have a lot less money than my son’s in-laws, but a higher income than my daughter’s. It doesn’t bother me either way.

This sounds tough, it’s hard to not constantly compare yourself to wealth if it’s very close to you.

we are lucky to be able to take our kids on multiple overseas holidays a year. Without fail, they ask every summer when they are off to Haven with their grandparents, and the Isle of Wight with their cousins. Destination is irrelevant- it’s the time and the bonding that matter, promise!

Focus on doing the things you love with your grandkids and don’t overthink it. Comparison is the thief of joy!

My DiL comes from a wealthy family. We are solid WC, comfortable only due to getting on a bit and having fewer expenses. I'm Nan. Dils mum is Granny. Granny buys lovely gifts, has started savings accounts for DGC and takes them on expensive days out. I see them every day, collect them from school and hear them read, look after them when they're sick, watch Peppa Pig on repeat and take them splashing in muddy puddles. They love us both.

I know you think this is really easy to say but I promise you the grandkids will love CP as much as the Caribbean. My ex husband family are incredibly wealthy and my children love the things they offer them, but they love visiting my family in Cornwall too in a little cottage! The holiday they talk about the most when they were younger is when we camped altogether with our NCT lot for the weekend in Hertfordshire! And they had been to Barbados and Cannes and lots of other abroad holidays! It's about people not things I promise x

This. My kids absolutely prefer the cheaper low key holidays we've had. And when it comes to family relationships they remember how their grandparents made them feel more than what they did. My kids fondest memories of their grandparents are of picking the tomatoes from the garden, trips to the beach, making jam tarts walkimg up a hill. They've had some high octane days out too but those ones never get a mention.

Every year we all stay in a bunk barn type place with cousins and grandparents, go walking, maybe kayaking and play games. They LOVE this so many memories.

We went on a European beach holiday this year, theme parks etc - they loved it but it 100% wouldn't trump a family holiday with everyone larking about together. The memories of the sheep chasing grandad, someone falling in a river etc always stick in your mind more as a kid than a nice hotel ime and money can't buy that.

I do understand what you mean tho, that level.of money is really something else and is bound to be divisive, sadly.

We're not wealthy but have lots of different holidays, from a weekend in Haven, two weeks in the Maldives all inclusive or just a bog standard all inclusive in Spain.

The destination my DC who are now teens talk the most about is Centre Parcs.

I wouldn't worry about comparisons.

Don't be silly. Comparison is not going to help and just sounds like u have a massive chip on your shoulder.

I can tell you those memories are held dear and will be a constant reminder to give balance to her life

Spending time with your grandchildren is all that matters and what they will remember.

My DHs family are very well off, and we outright own our own home because of it. My side of the family is not so well off. But my children are just as happy at a caravan or a cheap Airbnb with my side, as they are going to luxury villas and extremely fancy restaurants with my SIL or MIL. They understand one granny buys them extravagant gifts and one granny buys them lots of little things, but they love both equally with no judgement

I think money can easily destroy peoples relationships. No one needs therapy to cope with their feelings if wealth and the trappings make people uncomfortable. My own in law family I have experienced it with comparisons about a London life with private education second properties exotic overseas holidays etc etc. Moaning about being skint because they can’t afford extra weekend to New York when owning multiple properties. Most people who are wealthy don’t make others uncomfortable by bragging by pretending to be skint in that sense. I cope with it by distancing myself.

That's really unattractive and tone deaf to the realities of 90% of the population. I'd be so disappointed if that was my daughter.