To think women have double standards

As a pp said, people are dicks. Dicks attract other dicks. Hence the group of women you come across. I cannot imagine sitting with a group of my friends talking about how sexy and phwoar certain men are. We have much better things to talk about and laugh over, than objectifying men.

I think it's a bit much to make a generalisation about an entire sex based on one example.

It was a group of women on a train so how on Earth can it have been private?!

If you’re more concerned about women talking about males committing 98% of sex crimes than you are about males committing 98% sex crimes, then you’re part of that male violence issue.

A divorced father who suffers with access to his children is a father who just hasn’t tried. But will tell the world how hard he’s tried. How he’s not paying anything for his children because he doesn’t want to be funding the mother’s lifestyle, but will have a savings account for them. (Which is obviously no use to anyone)

He will also have a just as stupid woman there listening and believing him. But I feel we are digressing from the point.

I agree both sexes should speak respectfully about the other. And sexual harassment is never ever ok.

But there is a power imbalance to be considered.

A man listening to a group of women having that kind of discussion might be uncomfortable, but he’s not going to be frightened. He’s not worried they might overpower him. He’s not worried he’ll be raped or killed.

Being worried that people are laughing at your sex is not the same as being worried about predators.

As I said, we are unwilling to acknowledge or take responsibility for our double standards.

Poor divorced father, at least he hasn't got discrimination ,oppression and prejudice against him, pretty much all the time, compared to a mother, divorced or "happily" married.

Some people are just arseholes. Male and female.

Completely agree.

Said no divorced father ever 🙄

You are an idiot, and I'm being generous. That talk isn't comparable in terms of harm to years of oppression and hatred of women at all levels, from every day to states and institutions. Plus women have no power to act on their objectifying behaviour because has this escaped you but men almost always are stronger than women and also did you notice how they literally do not go around being violent and assaulting women while men do all the time.
Unless you are in white middle class bubble like most of mumsnet I'm sure are every time a woman is outside she's worried about her safety and men's behaviour towards her. No man leaves the house getting worried he may get raped or assaulted by a woman.
How old are you? Can't be older than 4 surely?

I think it's different because men as a group don't generally suffer serious issues as a result of women talking shit about them, and all women are impacted by men talking shit about them against a patriachal backdrop that paints women as slags, shallow, liars, golddiggers - the sort of stuff that men talk about women and then gets weaponised against women as a whole in the press, in courts, by the police.

So a more accurate title for the thread would be "AIBU to think that these four random women I heard on the train have double standards?"

In which case my answer would be yes probably but who cares

By "power" do you mean physical strength?

Oh come on, they are on PUBLIC transport..no such thing as an expectation of privacy.

Agree, though I'd add the word 'can' in beford have.

It’s about how oppression and power works. It has a massive amount to do with this.

And what percentage of me are that 98%?

The difference is ( for me) very few men would be in fear for their lives by a group of women on a train, but if you're a lone woman with a group of men being leery, it's a different story. HTH.

Yes, this is very well put.

I would also be interested to know how often your DH has personally shut down random men talking in public talking in a disrespectful way about women?

Because if he has never done this then isnt HE the one being rather hypocritical here....

She's making the point that when one overhears men talking like this, it has extra edge

Both men and women do this - so I suppose they can both have double standards

What do sex crimes have to do with this?

I'm not entirely sure how to phrase this, but I want to clarify what you meant. You wrote: "If men discussed women the way women discussed men, the men would be accused of misogyny." You said this because you witnessed women objectifying men and talking about them in a sexual way, and you felt that was hypocritical — well a "double standard" - as though it's considered acceptable for men to be discussed like that. Is that right?

However, imagine the reverse scenario: a group of men loudly objectifying women in a public space and talking about them sexually. Most people don’t have to stretch their imagination — it's a situation many have seen. And yes, in that situation, many around them would see their behaviour as misogynistic.

So here’s the point I'm trying to make: what exactly is different about these two situations? In both cases, there's a group of people speaking disrespectfully about another group, while others nearby think their behaviour is wrong and inappropriate.

It's not as though men who speak poorly about women are always confronted or shut down, but women who speak poorly about men are always praised or encouraged. Neither of these is universally true.

Ultimately, it sounds less like you're objecting to loud, disrespectful behaviour in general, and more like you're uncomfortable seeing women behave in ways you associate with men. The core issue isn't a "double standard" — it's that objectification and disrespect are wrong regardless of who does it.