Certainly:
- You present a false equivalence.
You compare women’s talk about men’s looks to men objectifying women as if they happen on equal footing. They don’t.
Women live in a world where being objectified can lead to harassment, lost opportunities, and serious safety concerns- like rape and even death in some cases. Men generally don’t face systemic disadvantages or threats to their safety from being “talked about” in this way.
You are flattening a power imbalance into a supposedly symmetrical/ equally "unfair" issue, which erases women’s lived experiences.
- You and your husband argue women are hypocritical.
By saying “some women think it’s unacceptable to be objectified but it’s ok for men,” you are painting women collectively as inconsistent or unfair — a classic and tired old misogynistic trope suggesting women are irrational or can’t be taken seriously.
It shifts attention away from the real issue (objectification and sexism) and makes women the problem.
- You are using* *the “double standards” argument to minimise sexism.
The phrase “double standards” is often used by people who feel threatened by discussions of sexism. It tries to reframe gender inequality as women being oversensitive or men being victimised — again, ignoring the vastly different historical and social realities between the sexes.
4.* Your entire argument centres men’s feelings instead of women’s experiences*.
You argue around how men feel unfairly treated rather than how women are routinely objectified. It redirects empathy toward the privileged group — a hallmark of misogynistic/defensive rhetoric.
5.* *You assume that women’s conversations are equally “sexualised” or harmful.
There’s no acknowledgement of tone, context, or intent — just a blanket assumption that women are doing the exact same thing. In reality, when women talk about men’s attractiveness, it’s rarely physically threatening or linked to any kind of violent sexual entitlement. Sure, it might piss men off but it doesnt make them worry for their physical safety or instil a fear of actually being raped. You deliberately blur that distinction to create a “both sides” narrative.
- You ignore who usually gets punished for speaking out.
In real life, men rarely face serious social consequences for objectifying women when talking either in the work place or out in public spaces. You even admit above that neither you nor your husband would call out men for such behaviour.
Meanwhile, women who speak up about sexism often get mocked or dismissed — which is exactly what YOU are doing in this very thread.