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Original poster

Awful neighbours or me? Finally moving

114 replies

finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 07:38

Have lived in my HA house for a little over a year now.
Nothing but nuisance of the children, I'm talking about playing out at 6:30am, shouting and screaming waking my kids up.

Trespassing on my driveway, throwing things at my car, chucking mud at my house, footballs being kicked at my windows, the list is endless.

I brought planters and fencing to block it all of and that caused the parents of these kids to take issue with me and stopped talking to me.

I spoke to the council who were pretty useless and advised me they couldn't do an "arranged move" as "these issues court occur anywhere".

The final straw came when one of my neighbours made me aware that she was watching me and who visits me on her Ring door bell and as I have previously been a victim of DV and stalking this started of some anxiety issues for me as she would constantly watch and then proceed in asking intrusive questions after.

Me and OH have saved some money during the last 10 months this has been occurring and family will also chip in when we finally leave here December before Xmas and give the home up.

There is a Facebook and WhatsApp group chat and I have never been invited to join either (older lady I am friendly with told me about it).

I was putting up Halloween decorations yesterday and my NDN came out and asked me "if everything was OK as she had seen a HA rep attend the property on Thursday and it looked very formal" (was our HA officer who had come to inspect the property before giving our new landlord a reference).

I basically told her to mind her own business and to never question my visitors again and she walked off.

I have pretty much bene ostracised here just for putting up a fence and not allowing kids to damage my car etc, I have never been rude or nasty and I just feel awful like I am the problem here.

I used to take in this neighbours parcels and bins whilst she was at work and she created a WhatsApp group and didn't even invite me, despite us never having issues but she sided with the other parents here.

AIBU to feel like this?

OP posts:
Soonenough · 01/11/2025 10:03

It seems very risky to give up new ! HA property for minor infringements . There is no guarantee that anywhere you move to might have the same problems . Your tolerance levels seem very low and I hope you develop a bit more resilience as unfortunately urban communal living is going to be challenging for you.

Remember kids grow up , patterns change . They will not always be primary age and when teenagers will be inside on devices ! While it's annoying to have nosey neighbours it's not harmful is it really . Really think about what you are giving up .

Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 10:01

I have never told off anyone's kids.
I didn't want to cause a confrontation so I put up fencing and plant pots to avoid a confrontation.

I do keep myself to myself it was my neighbour who was always approaching me for chats, favours etc.

But moving onto my new home I will keep myself to myself which I do anyway.

OP posts:
Catpiece · 01/11/2025 09:56

Sounds like you’ve approached living there the completely wrong way. This is what you do: go in and shut your front door. Keep yourself to yourself. Don’t get involved in WhatsApp groups. Don’t get involved with anyone. Don’t engage with the kids (although I find 6.30am screaming hard to believe). Once you’ve put your head over the parapet and told the kids off you’ve put a target on your back. You don’t like them. They don’t like you. Move on taking the advice I’ve given.

Flameup · 01/11/2025 09:50

finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 09:49

She invited everyone but maybe some people didn't want to join.

I was not invited and when I asked to join she didn't add me, this is despite me going out of my way to do her favours.

How do you know she invited “everyone”??? If covering 4 streets

Flameup · 01/11/2025 09:50

So in the space of a year she’s set up a large community WhatsApp group and is the administer of it. Wow, good on her

Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 09:49

She invited everyone but maybe some people didn't want to join.

I was not invited and when I asked to join she didn't add me, this is despite me going out of my way to do her favours.

OP posts:
Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 09:48

No we all moved in last October as these are new build properties on a new estate.

She didn't say it out of the blue that she was spying on me, she slipped it into conversation that on one particular day I had visitors, visitors that she had not seen before and wanted to know who they were.

She had also commented on various other things that she would only know by her Ringdoor.

@LeavesTrees - thank you, yes that is how I feel, very isolated despite not doing anything wrong to anyone. It is an awful feeling and people that haven't experienced it won't understand it.

OP posts:
LeavesTrees · 01/11/2025 09:36

I understand how you feel OP, I’ve had neighbours who behaved very similarly. I think people can’t understand how invaded and violated it makes you feel until it happens to them. It takes away your peace of mind and feeling of safety in your own home and you end up feeling anxious waiting for the next thing to happen. The WhatsApp groups then get joined by people who are not directly effected by the persons behaviour and then you end up looking like the problem which then leaves you feeling frustrated and a bit isolated.

When you move out and the new neighbour moves in and encounters the same problems that will be when she is exposed for who she really is to others.

CosySeason · 01/11/2025 09:35

finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 07:51

There are 4 streets on this estate and every neighbour was invited apart from me.

She is the sole admin of the groups

I don’t believe everyone would be invited. There’s so many who won’t want to be part of neighbourhood groups.

CosySeason · 01/11/2025 09:33

You’re crazy to give up a secure HA property for the sake of petty drama like this.

Flameup · 01/11/2025 09:29

So out of the blue she said she spies on you using her ring cam?

Flameup · 01/11/2025 09:26

She started the neighbourhood group

I am guessing she’s lived there for a long time

whereas you… less than a year

I imagine she’s a well respected and involved member of the community

Rexinasaurus · 01/11/2025 09:04

Sounds dreadful. Sooner you’re out the better. Good luck with your move!
Why can’t people control their own kids. Pathetic. Poor teachers, they have to deal with them at school.

Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 09:00

Yes they were as I assume the kids go to breakfast clubs etc before school as they would be playing whilst waiting for their parents.

I only told her to mind her own business as again despite me being friendly to her and doing her favours she didn't add me on the groups and then has the cheek to still question me about the housing officers visit the other day so she can get the business and tell everyone (this is what she does, I have heard her myself talking about neighbours and their business etc".

OP posts:
Izzywizzy85 · 01/11/2025 08:56

You do sound a bit highly strung OP. I also doubt the kids were playing out at half six every day.
Anyway you’re moving now so don’t stress over it.

Ratafia · 01/11/2025 08:51

I'm a little surprised you claim never to have been rude when you've just been telling us how you told a neighbour to mind her own business.

ClockworkGiraffe · 01/11/2025 08:49

Haven’t you posted this multiple times now in slightly different ways?

Azandme · 01/11/2025 08:41

Ring doorbell won't show her "everyone" on four streets...

Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 08:37

I'm not sure how I come across as petty?
I used to take in parcels for neighbours
Collect bins.

I am not loud and I am respectful to neighbours and don't bother anyone.

She sounds community minded as she is a nosy woman who is always watching everyone on her Ring door and then proceeds in questioning people
about their visitors, I am not sure in what context I come across as petty.

OP posts:
Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 08:06

@FlameupSorry misread that, yes I did ask to join the groups and gave her my details and she never added me, this was back in August.

In relation to the kids, it really is that bad. I have young kids myself and so I am aware that kids are noisy but these are really loud, used to shout running across my living room window every day etc.

OP posts:
GeminiGiggles · 01/11/2025 08:04

Anyone else get perfect neighbour vibes....?

Just move and stop ruminating over it. There's a whole world out there so you're bound to find somewhere suitable for your needs.

Flameup · 01/11/2025 08:02

Team Neighbour here

She sounds very community minded
and the OP sounds petty
you’re moving op . Focus on your new place

Squiggles23 · 01/11/2025 08:00

OP you are being dramatic. How can you possibly know that every single house except yours got invited?

I highly doubt that's the case. More likely one person add everyone they know, they invite the ones they know etc. Ultimately no-one thought to add you - either because you aren't friends or they don't think you would want to join.

The issues from your perspective sound like badly behaved kids & bad parenting. However, there may be another perspective. Is it really all the time these kids are out playing at 6.30am? Even in winter when it's dark? Do you think you might be thinking of a few incidents and ruminating on them?

Just playing devils advocate for you.

Ultimately it doesn't matter as you are moving. Try not to worry about it and look forward to your new home ❤️

Flameup · 01/11/2025 08:00

finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 07:56

No I wasn't asked ask to join even after I heard about it.
Yes she is very over bearing and in everyone's business and everyone here knows her.

That is not what I asked

I asked if when you heard about the group, you asked to join

There is more to this and I suspect in everyone’s interests you are moving.

how long until you do?

Kingoftheroad · 01/11/2025 07:59

Oh for goodness sake you’re moving because you haven’t been added to social media groups that your neighbour admins.

She doesn’t sound too hostile as she struck up a conversation with you. You rebuked her.

Probably best that you leave as it sounds like the problem is you

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