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Original poster

Awful neighbours or me? Finally moving

114 replies

finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 07:38

Have lived in my HA house for a little over a year now.
Nothing but nuisance of the children, I'm talking about playing out at 6:30am, shouting and screaming waking my kids up.

Trespassing on my driveway, throwing things at my car, chucking mud at my house, footballs being kicked at my windows, the list is endless.

I brought planters and fencing to block it all of and that caused the parents of these kids to take issue with me and stopped talking to me.

I spoke to the council who were pretty useless and advised me they couldn't do an "arranged move" as "these issues court occur anywhere".

The final straw came when one of my neighbours made me aware that she was watching me and who visits me on her Ring door bell and as I have previously been a victim of DV and stalking this started of some anxiety issues for me as she would constantly watch and then proceed in asking intrusive questions after.

Me and OH have saved some money during the last 10 months this has been occurring and family will also chip in when we finally leave here December before Xmas and give the home up.

There is a Facebook and WhatsApp group chat and I have never been invited to join either (older lady I am friendly with told me about it).

I was putting up Halloween decorations yesterday and my NDN came out and asked me "if everything was OK as she had seen a HA rep attend the property on Thursday and it looked very formal" (was our HA officer who had come to inspect the property before giving our new landlord a reference).

I basically told her to mind her own business and to never question my visitors again and she walked off.

I have pretty much bene ostracised here just for putting up a fence and not allowing kids to damage my car etc, I have never been rude or nasty and I just feel awful like I am the problem here.

I used to take in this neighbours parcels and bins whilst she was at work and she created a WhatsApp group and didn't even invite me, despite us never having issues but she sided with the other parents here.

AIBU to feel like this?

OP posts:
Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 14:11

ForFunnyOliveEagle · 01/11/2025 13:22

So a neighbour starts a regular normal friendly conversation with you and you’re moving because of it…. Fuck me you need help OP

And kids being uprooted as well

I would bet that the OP is being moved. Rather than it being her choice.

Overdonecabbage · 01/11/2025 14:10

“Finally moving”

after 1 year in a brand new spanking flat provided for by HA
due to what seems like the most innocuous of interactions

To say there will be more to this is an understatement. Either way, OP you’ll be off soon, so it’s quite interesting you are spending so much time thinking both this 😵‍💫

GehenSieweiter · 01/11/2025 13:25

BauhausOfEliott · 01/11/2025 13:20

None of these questions sound like anything other than a neighbour trying to be friendly.

I would consider myself to be more private than most, but if my next-door neighbour asked me where I was from (I also have a London accent but I live in Manchester) or where I worked I wouldn’t think that was even remotely inappropriate. No wonder she hasn’t added you to the bloody WhatsApp if you bristle at being asked “You don’t sound local - what brought you to this part of the country” type questions.

You don’t actually know she’s monitoring you on her Ring doorbell at all. I know my neighbour on one side has a dog walker go in twice a week, I know the bloke works from home and the woman has a hybrid job. I know their son plays football a couple of nights a week and supports Manchester City and I know they have elderly parents who visit a few times a year and one of elderly parents started using a stick. This isn’t because I’m monitoring them on a Ring doorbell - I don’t even own a Ring doorbell. This is just literally stuff I notice in passing because their front door is next to ours and everyone who goes in and out of their house is very bloody obvious when it’s happening by my front window every day.

Show quote history

Eh, what?
Those all sound like someone trying to be nosey!

ForFunnyOliveEagle · 01/11/2025 13:22

So a neighbour starts a regular normal friendly conversation with you and you’re moving because of it…. Fuck me you need help OP

BauhausOfEliott · 01/11/2025 13:20

finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 11:57

No what will happen is I will be out sorting out the plants etc or on my way out with the kids and she will be leaving her house, or coming back from a walk etc and start a convo with me first.

She always starts the convo first.

When I was on friendlier terms with her she would just causally ask questions into the convo.
"I notice your husband is works away a lot, what does he do for a job?"

"He as a London accent why have you guys moved here?"

"So I notice you have had some older relatives visiting? Grandparents?"

"I notice you must work from home, which company do you work for"?

She is always up on everyone's business as she used to try and gossip with me about my other neighbour but I cut her short.

None of these questions sound like anything other than a neighbour trying to be friendly.

I would consider myself to be more private than most, but if my next-door neighbour asked me where I was from (I also have a London accent but I live in Manchester) or where I worked I wouldn’t think that was even remotely inappropriate. No wonder she hasn’t added you to the bloody WhatsApp if you bristle at being asked “You don’t sound local - what brought you to this part of the country” type questions.

You don’t actually know she’s monitoring you on her Ring doorbell at all. I know my neighbour on one side has a dog walker go in twice a week, I know the bloke works from home and the woman has a hybrid job. I know their son plays football a couple of nights a week and supports Manchester City and I know they have elderly parents who visit a few times a year and one of elderly parents started using a stick. This isn’t because I’m monitoring them on a Ring doorbell - I don’t even own a Ring doorbell. This is just literally stuff I notice in passing because their front door is next to ours and everyone who goes in and out of their house is very bloody obvious when it’s happening by my front window every day.

Cherrysoup · 01/11/2025 12:49

And this is why I don’t want neighbours when I move. My Dh showed me the ideal house yesterday but it’s in a tiny hamlet of several houses. I can imagine someone being the neighbourhood watch/Whatsapp person, checking on the comings and goings, just horrific. And I’d be very anxious about noise: had appalling druggy noisy neighbours before now.

Glad you’re getting out, OP.

Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 11:57

No what will happen is I will be out sorting out the plants etc or on my way out with the kids and she will be leaving her house, or coming back from a walk etc and start a convo with me first.

She always starts the convo first.

When I was on friendlier terms with her she would just causally ask questions into the convo.
"I notice your husband is works away a lot, what does he do for a job?"

"He as a London accent why have you guys moved here?"

"So I notice you have had some older relatives visiting? Grandparents?"

"I notice you must work from home, which company do you work for"?

She is always up on everyone's business as she used to try and gossip with me about my other neighbour but I cut her short.

OP posts:
Flameup · 01/11/2025 11:46

A brand new HA property
and you are uprooting your children in the space of a year because of a… nosy neighbour? And noise at… 6.30am?

are you moving to private?

Flameup · 01/11/2025 11:44

finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 11:30

Sorry how am I rude?

I leave neighbours alone, I don't sit there watching my Ring door bell and noting who visits and then go up to the neighbour and question them about it..

I don't order parcels to my neighbours address either.

I told her to mind her own business as I am fed up of being questioned about my visitors and comings and going's.

you gave one example

so it transpires she comes to your front door or corners you as you leave your property and says that she saw xyz visiting you and who are they?

Nanny0gg · 01/11/2025 11:33

Catpiece · 01/11/2025 11:24

I do believe her, trust me. It’s the 6.30am start that I questioned.

Show quote history

I know. That was what I was responding to.

It's not unheard of

EvelynBeatrice · 01/11/2025 11:33

I’m not sure why people are so disbelieving about the 6.30 am start. Many children wake up at 6 or earlier. It’s not hard to believe that some types of parent would be happy to tell them to go outside with their noise rather than listen to it close up in the house.

thankgoditssaturday · 01/11/2025 11:33

I used to live next door to a manipulative nosey old boot too. Moving house was the best thing we ever did. Our neighbours are lovely now.

Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 11:32

Leave my poor neighbours too it?
It their kids that have been causing me a nuisance.

Their kids had been trespassing on my drive for months until I had to fork out on fencing and planters.

I don't approach neighbours either it's the other way round actually.

OP posts:
Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 11:30

Sorry how am I rude?

I leave neighbours alone, I don't sit there watching my Ring door bell and noting who visits and then go up to the neighbour and question them about it..

I don't order parcels to my neighbours address either.

I told her to mind her own business as I am fed up of being questioned about my visitors and comings and going's.

OP posts:
Daisymay8 · 01/11/2025 11:27

Kingoftheroad · 01/11/2025 07:59

Oh for goodness sake you’re moving because you haven’t been added to social media groups that your neighbour admins.

She doesn’t sound too hostile as she struck up a conversation with you. You rebuked her.

Probably best that you leave as it sounds like the problem is you

I could swear there are ‘let’s stir it up and be nasty’ bots on mn

Catpiece · 01/11/2025 11:24

Nanny0gg · 01/11/2025 11:15

Why do you not believe her about the children?

There have been many posts on MN about that exact problem

Show quote history

I do believe her, trust me. It’s the 6.30am start that I questioned.

ForFunnyOliveEagle · 01/11/2025 11:23

OP is rude, neighbour is probably fine. OP it sounds like you have wayyyyy too much time on your hands. Maybe join a group, make friends and leave your poor neighbours to it.

DaisyChain505 · 01/11/2025 11:17

It all sounds very petty and you’re all far too involved in each others lives.

The most I say to my neighbours is a passing hello and small talk about the weather. It’s the best way to keep it. Friendly enough but not in each others pockets so there’s a risk of falling out.

Nanny0gg · 01/11/2025 11:15

Catpiece · 01/11/2025 09:56

Sounds like you’ve approached living there the completely wrong way. This is what you do: go in and shut your front door. Keep yourself to yourself. Don’t get involved in WhatsApp groups. Don’t get involved with anyone. Don’t engage with the kids (although I find 6.30am screaming hard to believe). Once you’ve put your head over the parapet and told the kids off you’ve put a target on your back. You don’t like them. They don’t like you. Move on taking the advice I’ve given.

Why do you not believe her about the children?

There have been many posts on MN about that exact problem

GehenSieweiter · 01/11/2025 10:57

Flameup · 01/11/2025 09:26

She started the neighbourhood group

I am guessing she’s lived there for a long time

whereas you… less than a year

I imagine she’s a well respected and involved member of the community

Or people are scared to upset the self appointed leader?
I personally cannot stand apparently community minded folk who are actually just nosy busy bodies!
Good luck @finallymoving22, regardless of the absolute right or wrongs of everyone's behaviour, it sounds like a move is the right option for you

Flameup · 01/11/2025 10:46

You got a brand new HA property
and because of what would appear very very mild situation - you’re uprooting your family after a year. Your children too.

And the property you’re moving in to…. No longer HA?

maudelovesharold · 01/11/2025 10:26

Flameup · 01/11/2025 09:26

She started the neighbourhood group

I am guessing she’s lived there for a long time

whereas you… less than a year

I imagine she’s a well respected and involved member of the community

…or she’s a loudmouth ‘forceful’ personality (we’ve all met them) who no-one wants to cross, so they’re all cheery and compliant with her. The op obviously made the mistake of trying to (non-controversially) protect her space with fence snd planters and in doing so, riled the NDN. You’re better off out of it, op. Hope your next neighbours are more amenable.

Original poster
finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 10:24

There is stuff that is posted on the group chats such as missing parcels, lost cats/dogs, recomendations that kind of stuff etc.

It would of been nice to be on it for those reasons but still keep myself to myself.
I don't bother or trouble anyone.

OP posts:
Catpiece · 01/11/2025 10:21

finallymoving22 · 01/11/2025 10:01

I have never told off anyone's kids.
I didn't want to cause a confrontation so I put up fencing and plant pots to avoid a confrontation.

I do keep myself to myself it was my neighbour who was always approaching me for chats, favours etc.

But moving onto my new home I will keep myself to myself which I do anyway.

Mmm you’re not striking me as someone who keeps themselves to themselves. The asking to be on the WhatsApp group is a bit of a giveaway. If you want to be left alone you really do have to go under the radar. You usually find that others follow suit which creates a quieter environment.

JollyLilacBee · 01/11/2025 10:11

Crazy to give up a HA property for a private rental. Why don’t you advertise for a mutual exchange?