Would this have bothered you

It looked like practically the whole of my DS class showed up at our house together trick or treating. I just assumed lots of them are tagging along for together for safety (not every parent can take them/ they saw each other out and about and decided to stick together. I admired their costumes and gave them their sweets, it's almost definitely not a personal conspiracy against your family or your kid

I lost the plot halfway through reading this. Honestly just move on.

If you are thinking like this, you’re going to find the coming school years very difficult. Not all children have to do everything, be invited to everything, be even thought about when stuff is being arranged. Let it go.

No it wouldn't bother me at all. Your children's classmates are allowed to make arrangements with other friends that don't include your child. If you wanted your child to go trick or treating with friends, you could have invited some to go with you.

Agree. Need a Venn diagram to work it all out 😆

Next year organise something yourself and invite who you want. Often kids activities eg trick or treating are more to go with who the parents are mates with rather than who the kids are. Your DH is right. You are overthinking.

I can’t tell where your DC was. This is really hard to follow.

Did you ask if they were going, they said no, then turned up in a group at your door?

it's outrageous for them to have the cheek to turn up at our house wanting sweets

That's the whole point of Halloween, for heaven's sake.

You are massively overthinking this, OP. You're overreacting and frankly sound bats. Children get together in endless permutations. It's perfectly fine for not everyone to be invited every time. Unless it was 29 out of 30 getting together, this is not something to get aerated about.

Are you hyper sensitive to bullying or being excluded because of your own experience? Because otherwise I can't see why some classmates trick or treating would get you so worked up.

I can’t understand all the ins and outs but you’re basically asking if it’s ok for them to be trick or treating without your child. Yes.

This is mad OP, are you like this IRL? Just chill out a bit. Your son could even have tagged along with the group after they came to your house surely? Trick or treat is a really casual affair not a guest list only party with bouncers on the door.

Maybe that group of kids has always gone out trick or treating together. Whereas you usually go to the party.

I couldn't concentrate on your post. Forgive me, who are you calling a 'Bit of a B**'?
One of the mothers, or a junior aged child? 🤔

Crikey that is a long convoluted post OP - what has them being super sporty got to do with anything?

Yes I think it is mean for them to knock if they knew it was your house but honestly it reflects on them rather than you. Sometimes groups of Mums are more friendly maybe this group are. Just forget about it now.

Were they not knocking for treats but also to ask your DC if he wanted to join them?

Well even if they weren't you're being ridiculously OTT and need to stop obsessing. You don't know everything about who other people's children are friends with.

Calling people cheeky for trick or treating at your house when you celebrate Halloween is absolutely laughable.

Year 3s have WhatsApp and are communicating independently?

Wouldn’t bother me at all. I think it’s nice that they knocked to see him and wanted to say hello. Would be odd if they skipped your house.

I know it’s horrible thinking your child is disappointed but they’re too young to think about these things. He probably wanted to get out so he could bump into them or maybe join them.

I would feel pissed off but you have to train yourself and your dc to think you can't be invited to everything and it doesn't matter. I think it stems from a sort of rejection fear in some. But they have just done what they fancied doing. It isn't an attack on you. They thought it would be nice to visit you. It was a bit thoughtless but there was no malice there. In fact they liked you enough to visit.

Given the unintelligibility of op's post i would say massive miscommunication is likely!

And this isn't mean, as they are likely to be asking if DC was there as they are likely to have believed they were at the Halloween party they normally go to, so a pretty normal question 'hi is DC in' (meaning are they back from the party to say hello).

But you didn't say to them either about doing anything. How are they supposed to know you are sat waiting for an invite?
You say your child normally goes to a Halloween party but changed their mind last minute. Maybe the other kids know that's what they normally do so didn't consider they would be available. When your child changed their mind why didn't you message the parents that live in the same village and say to them DC has decided to miss the Halloween party this year and would like to go trick or treating, wondered whether you were around to go together?

But the fact that they knocked showed their intent was not ‘mean’! If they’d been deliberately ostracising you or your child they would have avoided your house 🤦🏻‍♀️

We bumped into quite a few little sub groups of my child's friends out trick or treating, it didn't for one second make me annoyed!