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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if you would agree with a law forcing absent parents to step up?

159 replies

LisaSimpsonsHamster · 31/10/2025 22:30

I was reading a post on another group and wondering what other people thought. Should there be laws forcing absent fathers to step up and parent their children? (I’m more referring to absent fathers who have multiple children with the same person/ planned children rather than ONS where father disappears completely before the child is born but can include those if you want) but the post I seen was referring to the former type. I don’t mean financially but should they actually be forced to be a parent? Aibu to say I can’t see how this would work out and I don’t think it’s beneficial for the children which is why there isn’t a law forcing this but people were arguing that they have been forced to be a full time parent.

OP posts:
JLou08 · 01/11/2025 00:25

No. I think a child would be more damaged from having to spend time with a parent that doesn't want them than they would be from having an absent parent. I do think they should be made to contribute financially.

OllyBJolly · 31/10/2025 22:47

I'd say no - nothing worse than forcing a child to spend time with someone who resents their presence and would rather be gaming, cycling, watching football, drinking.

I do think maintenance should be enforceable. I was a single parent. When I was made redundant I still had to buy food, pay the childminder, pay the mortgage, utility bills and find the spare change for no uniform days. XH redundant and all money stops. Paying for children shouldn't be optional for one parent.

QwertyAtThirty · 31/10/2025 22:39

No. My DB is the de facto dad to his stepdaughter because her bio dad is a feckless piece of shit. She has a caring, responsible, sober father figure in her life and definitely doesn't need some uninterested waste of space hanging around because he's been told he has to. Everyone in that family is better off with the current arrangement.

Original poster
LisaSimpsonsHamster · 31/10/2025 22:38

Please can we not make this about maintenance that’s an entirely separate issue. I’m wondering purely relating to physical contact.

OP posts:
Original poster
LisaSimpsonsHamster · 31/10/2025 22:37

WhateverMate · 31/10/2025 22:32

Of course I wouldn't agree to that.

Surely you can see the myriad of reasons it could be both damaging and ridiculous?

I'm surprised you're even asking.

Read my post it isnt my opinion I’m wondering what people think as lots of people were saying it should be a law on another group!

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 31/10/2025 22:34

No. Some people are not fit to be around children, let alone be parents. However, the cost of outsourcing your parenting should be higher and unavoidable except in extraordinary circumstances.

TheLivelyRose · 31/10/2025 22:34

No. Think of the child. Being forced to be around an uninterested parent.

They should be made to pay though.

WhateverMate · 31/10/2025 22:32

Of course I wouldn't agree to that.

Surely you can see the myriad of reasons it could be both damaging and ridiculous?

I'm surprised you're even asking.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/10/2025 22:32

I don’t see how you can force them, but there should definitely be much stricter laws around paying maintenance - with a decent amount as minimum that has to be our come what may. With prison time as a penalty and the debt is still there when they come out!

(This hasn’t actually happened to me personally but I feel strongly about it!)