To ask if you would agree with a law forcing absent parents to step up?

Forced to work step up and pay towards their child's life to make sure they are OK.
Not made to have contact though imagine an uninterested parent with a child how unfair on the child how would that help a child grow up to be well balanced.

Step up or step away and lose all rights

No. And the parent should lose their parental responsibility after x amount of years absent

No, having in a child life an adult that don’t give a damn and shows it is a terrible idea. Probably they separate because they realised that so what on earth would that give to the child??

Law can’t command Love. If someone don’t love their children, they are better out.

Depends if the absent parent is making choice to be absent or has been pushed out I guess. Over the years I have know both scenarios.

You cannot force someone to be a parent. A solicitor told me that not long after I left my ex husband and it really stuck with me - often have to remind myself when he doesn’t see the children for weeks, let’s them down at the last minute or makes promises that never materialise.
It’s an absolutely ridiculous suggestion that a law would be passed to make parenting legally enforceable - who in their right mind would want their children to be brought up by somebody that doesn’t want them?!

The problem with this idea is that it will then just punish the next woman and children these feckless fuckers will inevitably end up with. And MN is already full of posts from second partners complaining about the maintenance their man has to pay to his previous children.

The only workable and credible answer to all this is to cut off their goolies.

Thankyou. My exH and I have been friends for more than 20 years and together for 15. We went through fertility struggles to have our daughter, and he was a loving and committed father and husband right until the point he left. It was completely unexpected and neither of our families can make sense of it. Not really sure how else I could have vetted him better.

Is it some US states where parents get arrested for non payment of maintenance? But I don’t think trying to force absent parents to step up is ideal: what if it was a blessing to get them out of the picture?

I understand what you mean. But many exes are not local to their children (mine moved more than 1000s of miles away!). And trying to force someone who doesn't want to be present causes animosity, which then creates a negative relationship for the children. Money, on the other hand, creates a more comfortable and less stressful life for the present parent and children.

No.
Forcing anyone usually doesn't produce the desired result.
Glad I don't have dependants.

They should definitely be forced to pay much more than some absent parents do. A real cost that actually covers necessities, even if it makes them poor. For instance, at least half childcare costs, to enable the present parent to work more easily, including if the shifts aren't weekday 9 - 5.
Being forced to be physically present, I don't think it would work. It could create a negative environment which children are forced to be in.

Agree with others, no, a law “forcing” someone to be a parent would be a disaster for the children involved and absolutely wouldn’t work or be in their best interests.

BUT the maintenance side of things should be a lot tighter and stricter so that the parent left holding the reins has at least got the money to buy themselves some help- whether that is childcare, a cleaner etc.

Wanting an absent parent to step up so the active parent gets a ‘break’ is missing the real point. That is a conversation about the parent’s needs, not the child’s needs.
Does the child need a shitty uninterested parent? No.
Does the active parent need a break? Yes.
Answer = absent parent is held financially responsible for up to 50% childcare (to include holiday clubs, childminder / aupair etc, as required)

Oh do sod off with this. Every bloody time. How many testimonies would you like from those of us who were in years long, married relationships with planned children who were very suddenly left high and dry? Or can't you hear us from up on your pedestal?

You've had your answer....you cannot make an unwilling person effectively parent. The only thing you can enforce is financial support. Whilst I agree in theory that a parent who chooses not to be physically present ought to do more in terms of paying for childcare, you then run the risk of uninterested and neglectful parents "stepping up" to avoid that.

People are mentioning maintenance as a caveat to saying No.

But if all you want is a blunt answer: No.

I don't think they should be forced to have contact. As PP have said it's damaging to a child to have contact with someone who resents their existence or does the bare minimum in their contact time.

I do however think that all fathers should be forced to pay for their children - as PP said, a minimum amount that does not take income into account - so many feckless men decide to work the bare minimum or manipulate their finances so they only have to pay tiny amounts of maintenance. My friend has a child with such a feckless man - he is currently cocklodging with a woman, working 8hrs a week (previously worked full time before splitting up with friend) and sees his son for 30 minutes every month under duress from his own mother. Instead it should be a minimum of £x a month regardless of income. Then income based cm on top. In cases of ONS or disputes DNA tests would be required but ultimately once it is proven the child is yours, you have to pay for them. It would make men take responsibility for contraception if they think they will have to pay for any offspring created. So many men "hate" or are "unable" to wear condoms, however if they thought they may have to pay for children created, I imagine they might suddenly have a change of heart regarding condoms.

Nobody should be forced to care for a child male or female its extremely dangerous for the child.

No. Aside from the fact that I don’t see how anyone could physically force anyone else to parent the way they should, children deserve better than having to be parented by people who are only doing it because they are being legally made to. The law already exists to give parental responsibility. Perhaps more consequences for not fulfilling them?
There could be tighter laws around things like contact and better legal processes. So for a kid whose parent is in and out of their lives as they please with no consistency, a parent should be able go to court quickly to put something in place to take away their right to contact unless they can evidence that they are able to stick to something regular. Even it is only monthly or whatever, better than a child being dicked around by someone who pops up when they fancy being dad.

I bet there are enough council jobs like cleaning the chewing gum off streets, graffitti off walls for these men to do and earn. We should be getting the ones without jobs out to do community work.
I actually think most are lying about income anyway so they might cough up if the option was to do so or do litter picking for the week.

No, because it would be harmful to the child, and the child should always be the priority.