To ask if you would agree with a law forcing absent parents to step up?

No. My donor deserted us. I refused to put his name on the BC as I didn't want him to have anything to do with her in later life. A bit of maintenance would have been nice, but, because she had problems at school, I couldn't have a job, and they would have just taken it back off any benefits.
I can think of nothing worse than any absent parent being forced to parent a child they're clearly not interested in

You can't force an emotional relationship.
Statement of the blindingly obvious

Unwilling parents who were able to abandon their children would simply abuse, neglect or otherwise psychologically damage a child.

No but there should be a law that would make parents who never see their children contribute a much bigger child maintenance . You cannot make someone be a parent but you sure as hell should be able to make them pay financially. The U.K. is absolutely ridiculous. I should add I say this as a solicitor of ho see all sorts of excuses and ways man make to nit pay child maintenance or pay a pittance .
People who don’t pay should have their wages garnished, if they have no wages they should have their savings and property garnished. No excuses

It needs to become not socially acceptable for a man not to parent. An uncomfortable truth is that it can suit future partners if a father is not involved with his children or is a 'every other weekend father as they - and their future children - benefit from more attention and time for their children ( although often the pattern repeats)

No. An unwilling male parent could be a danger to their child.

It always shocks me on here how much some women judge others who they deem to have been "feckless" with who they have as a partner and co-parent.

A lady I know got married and everything was lovely. Then she fell pregnant (planned) and her husband turned abusive. Apparently, this is not an unusual thing to happen (men turning abusive once their partner is pregnant). How can woman predict that?

People also lie and cheat, sometimes after years and years of everything being fine.
But it seems women are expected to have a crystal ball, and know that they will be a single parent 8 years after having a baby. Saw one woman be berated on here for just that. She should "have picked better".

And I understand where you're coming from with this.
When I first became a solo parent I was so mad that he got to just opt out. He wanted to start going out so he did, and I was left doing it all. I would have very happily given up any amount of money from him for him to have taken some of the burden and so I could get some sleep and rest.

And someone like my ex H would have stepped up if he had been accountable to someone in an authority figure. If it had reflected badly on him at work etc he would have dine 50/50 just to make himself look good.

As no one gave a shit though and he was never asked why he didn't bother, he didn't care. He just told people I made it too hard and everyone just nodded and believed him. Had it been made into an official document or something others could see and shame him for, someone impartial assessing him doing nothing, he'd have hated that and would have done 50/50

I bet a lot of men would do more if it was made public knowledge and the mum wasn't the one being made to look controlling or 'being difficult'

You can take a horse to water but you can't it drink; in short, mo.

Fucking judgemental much. I'm so sick of the whole 'women should choose better' bullshit trope.

My sons dad was a head teacher. Respected, well liked, doting father that desperately wanted a child.

Until one day 6 years later he didn't.

Please tell me how I should have consulted a crystal ball to find out he would have a personality transplant in 6 years time

So sick of this being put on women

Do better yourself...

Are you a single parent? Or is that I hypothetical "id rather have 50/50"?

Because 50/50 wouldn't work if one parent was being forced into it. Would I want my DC to spend half their time with someone who doesn't want them there? Of course not.
50/50 only works with 2 involved parents.

I'd rather have had the maintenance. As it was I had neither.

Well, they need to use some of their maintenance for a babysitter then!

My DD is 6, father said he wanted nothing to do with us as soon as I told him I was pregnant, and he's stuck to that. Do I need a break, absolutely! Do I want him to be the one giving me the break, absolutely not!!!

Also it places such pressure on housing.
Often its mum looking for housing from the council with kids. Where are tge father/s?
They walk away and aren't worried about the kids housing. It's very unattractive.

You mean ensurkng they dont breed.

How on earth can you force people.
They shouldn't need forcing anyway.

Agree about having to pay though.

I think all fathers should be made to pay and maintenance should go towards mean testing of benefits. Too many people play the system and say they are single parents just because dad is registered to live elsewhere but actually lives with mother and children. I say this because I know of 5 women who have the dad living with them but claim the full UC FSM etc.
I just think they should be made to pay and it then come off the benefits, there would be a lot less people claiming

Forcing people who have already neglected and abandoned their kids with childcare against their will? Nothing could go wrong there

Have to agree with this, it would be a disaster

If an absent parent is so disinterested in their child, then it makes no sense to force them to be a parent to the point that social services then have to step in. That is not fair on the child.

No one is forced to be a parent.

The sort of people who are absent and irresponsible parents are unlike to be able to be forced to do this, also may not be in child's best interests. For maintenance absolutely.

I do feel strongly about the ones who want to be present but the Mums hold the cards and power. A friend, split up with his partner, adores his child and is a wonderful dad. However the Mum can be dysfunctional and a control freak and a hypocrite. She will lay demands, blow hot and cold, use the threat of not allowing access, when of course she has no right to. There doesn't seem to be enough support for this kind of situation without going down the expensive legal route with courts and solicitors. Mums who abuse their position with no care about the child's welfare and use them as a parent.

Other side of the coin, equally as unfair. Xx

Yes I think men should be forced to take responsibility for their children.

If they are disinterested and/ or neglectful then there should be social work intervention and child neglect charges.

Women aren't automatically excellent parents just because the father is a selfish feckless sack of shit. Plenty of mothers also just want an easy life, but they wouldn't be allowed to just stop being a parent, so nor should men.

It shouldn't be optional; there should be harsh consequences on men who are not parenting adequately.

Women shouldn't be the default parent.

I have to say that when I see single parents, almost always mums, struggling financially with children, my first question is, where are the fathers? The state pays a fortune to support these parents and the absent parent should be made to contribute whether in money terms or parenting.