Colleagues missed my birthday

Turns out it seems that it's OP's own business, which puts it all in a different light.

You're doing way too much.
Gift vouchers for work anniversaries is far too much, as is "topping up" the collection when you decide it isn't enough money.
These people aren't your family. They're just people you've been thrown together with by pure chance. You owe them nothing apart from being polite and professional.

By them not reciprocating for your birthday, tells you they don't value the "work colleague birthday" thing as much as you do. Please take this as your sign to stop, or at the very minimum, dial it right back to cards only, and/or just do it for "big birthdays" only (although that still relies on someone to keep track).

We only did collections for Milestone Birthdays or special occasions such as weddings , leaving gifts etc .

Sorry OP but if I was your colleague I would be annoyed to have to give £10 towards my colleagues' birthday presents.

nah. They are all happy to do that, and OP said that nobody has any issue if less than a tenner goes in. They are happy to get presents, and ok to give if someone else does the gruntwork. They are all adults. At any point in the year they could say "this is too much". If they really left it for OPs birthday to make their protest they are mean fuckers. If they genuinely forgot they are lazy fuckers.

Either way, OP just needs to shrug it off, and then ignore everything to do with birthdays going forward. Either they will notice, or they won't. Either way they are fuckers.

Don't do more collections they don't bother, why should you?
Stop making favours if they are not convinient to you. That is all.

Looks like exploring why you go to such effort with gifts and helping out in therapy might be a good idea.

OMG no! Totally (I’m the boss).
If this is the case OP you should just be buying the gifts, no whip round

Ah that is a real shame. You sound very thoughtful and it is a lovely gesture to mark everyone's birthday. Maybe financially it was getting a bit much to be always contributing to a colleague's birthday. However, if it was, it needed someone to say it out loud rather than stop cold missing out the person who put in all the effort.

Over my work years I have twice had a sharp reminder that not everyone has funds available that others may consider loose change. One was a colleague who said no thanks to heading out for a coffee at Costa. He went on to share with me that the cost was the same as a stocking filler towards his young daughter’s christmas and he simply couldnt afford both. The other was a colleague who bought nothing when we all ran into a sandwich shop to grab something on way to a team meeting. She said she wasnt hungry, it was clear later she was starving and I gave her my crisps. I learned much later than she was in severe debt. We work in an industry which pays well and would probably be perceived as affording nice homes and cars! I only mention this as I think you have assumed that 1) eveyone loves celebrating birthdays - they dont. 2) everyone can afford a few pounds even if it’s not the standard £10 - that’s just not the case. I get the hurt but it’s just too much to expect.

Maybe when you go in next week there will be a belated gift. If you do everyone else’s it’s just not in their minds. I’m low key about this stuff anyway . Sometimes colleagues remember but I don’t know their birthdays either. If I do I’ll wish then a happy birthday but otherwise I wouldn’t know.

Oh. That would explain it to me. I wouldn't buy my boss a gift, at all.

Time to hand over the birthday collection mantle.
Tell eberyone from new year you will hamd over thr birthday collection if anyone wants to take it on. If not then the tradition dies out.
10 quid each is a lot for a work birthday collection. Everywhere I have worked its about 2 quid and a manager might top it up with a tenner. But actually since covid I havent worked anywhere that even acknowledges birthdays, unless its a big one but even then its a verbal happy birthday and thats it.
Time to let this bitthday tradition go in your workplace.

Honestly, I'd be annoyed at the expectation that I should pay out for colleagues' birthdays at ten quid apiece. It a lot.

I agree, just stop doing it without saying anything and see what happens

even things like if someone’s work anniversary eg they’ve been here a year I get them Starbucks or cinema voucher.

You're doing it to be kind, but this seems intense to me. These people are not your friends, you're just working in the same place.

I'm sorry you're hurt, but this is your cue to stop the gift giving.

I do things for them outside of work like help with lifts and picking up items they need if I pop out to the shops.
im often told I’m a kind and considerate person.

They seem to look upon you as the one that does the doing...clearly happy for you to continue as long as it suits them.

I'd also be one that stops doing these things, I wouldn't say or ask if anyone needed anything doing if I was going that way and if anyone did ask I'd reply with a "sorry no, not going that way"

I'd also stop with the collections for birthdays, don't mention before hand just let the build up to the birthday and day itself pass.

Just continue being friendly and professional at work and if any colleagues mention that you haven't done xyz just look upon them as being a cheeky shite agree and change the subject, I mean who's going to moan to you that it's unfair that you've stopped being their skivvy.

Hardly anyone likes work collections and celebrating team birthdays. The best gift you can give them and yourself is to stop. They will appreciate it and you don't need to feel hard done by.

Based on your posts on this thread - including this charming response to a woman whose mother died a year ago - she isn't the only one.

Stop doing them, maybe £10 each time is too much for some people anyway.

I never put into collections that demand a specific amount having seen a colleague crying in her car and the reason being contributing to the latest collection had tipped her into her overdraft but she understandably didn't want to share her financial position with everyone in the office.

Did you start the whole birthday collection idea? If so, and you're more senior (or even the boss) maybe everyone else went along with out of politeness. Most people don’t actually want to give money for workplace birthdays, but they do it because saying no feels awkward. If you’re the one leading the team, part of your role is to set tone and morale, but what you've done has drifted into something more personal than professional, like you’ve been trying to make work feel like a caring family. That kind of closeness probably belongs somewhere else. In a workplace sometimes that kind of connection grows organically, and I think that's the only way it can work, when it’s mutual and easy, because otherwise it turns into obligation dressed up as kindness.

Are you their boss? They may find it a bit weird organising a collection and gift for you if so.
I understand why it is hurtful, but I would chalk it up and accept the lesson that actually no-one is that fussed about colleague birthday gifts if you aren't there asking them for contributions. And stop doing it. If you want to give a colleague a card or cake on their birthday, do it, but stop organising the collections. I wouldn't want to spend £80 a year on birthday gifts for colleagues. Maybe they don't either but haven't felt able to say.

People probably don't want to do it but feel too awkward to say no. I wouldn't contribute to these collections most workplaces only do something for big birthdays if at all. Ive never heard of anyone getting a gift card just for working somewhere for a year either you sound like a kind person who enjoys gifting not everyone feels the same way

Stop doing it , if colleagues comment just say no-one bothered for yours so you won’t be doing it anymore. Then next birthday take 8 fancy cupcakes into work and eat every damn one of them

I knew you were going to be the one who organised everyone else’s presents as soon as you said yours was missed.

Don’t say anything this time, but definitely delegate the next birthday to another team member.

@AliceMcK good for you for calling him out. That was shitty behaviour