Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Work colleague pissing me off!

29 replies

FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 21:19

Has anyone had a colleague at work who uses humour to make you feel like shit? I genuinely don't think he knows what he's doing though, or does he?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Givenupshopping · 01/11/2025 12:56

Hi OP, hope you're feeling better today?

FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 22:35

Thanks for all your replies and advice, I really appreciate it.

My going to head off to bed after taking some painkillers. My head is throbbing.

Thanks everyone. I know I've done the right thing.

OP posts:
FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 22:31

Fasterthanwitches · 31/10/2025 22:27

Well done OP for trusting your gut and taking it higher. It's a horrible position Jim's put you in really, but you've done what's needed and the manager has listened. He does need a word having with, and really you deserve an apology from him!

Thank you. He's not a horrible person, I think he would apologise. I don't think he realises how far he's went.

OP posts:
Fasterthanwitches · 31/10/2025 22:27

Well done OP for trusting your gut and taking it higher. It's a horrible position Jim's put you in really, but you've done what's needed and the manager has listened. He does need a word having with, and really you deserve an apology from him!

FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 22:26

Merryoldgoat · 31/10/2025 22:17

Do you work for a school or is it and outsourced service?

My school has a bus service like this and Jim would be hauled into the office for this kind of behaviour. In fact, ‘our’ Jim has been a few times.

Yes, i work for the school. Now I'm worried incase we are at the same school. Chances are slim but you never know.

OP posts:
FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 22:24

Shatteredallthetimelately · 31/10/2025 22:15

Gosh....

It's Jim's job to drive the DC to and from their destination and your job to keep them safe, now I'm in no way accusing the DC of misbehaving but I'd never chance having DC on a bus with the door open, yes I have DC of my own and we all know how unpredictable they can be and how fast they can move.

Sounds like you're doing a eally good job in keeping them safe, unfortunately Jim may need more training.

Yes, you've got it right. Kids have escaped from the bus before (not my bus) because the driver has opened the door before we get to it. He obviously needs told again by someone higher up than me.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 31/10/2025 22:17

Do you work for a school or is it and outsourced service?

My school has a bus service like this and Jim would be hauled into the office for this kind of behaviour. In fact, ‘our’ Jim has been a few times.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 31/10/2025 22:15

Gosh....

It's Jim's job to drive the DC to and from their destination and your job to keep them safe, now I'm in no way accusing the DC of misbehaving but I'd never chance having DC on a bus with the door open, yes I have DC of my own and we all know how unpredictable they can be and how fast they can move.

Sounds like you're doing a eally good job in keeping them safe, unfortunately Jim may need more training.

FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 22:13

Inertia · 31/10/2025 22:07

It really sounds as though Jim is not safe or intelligent enough to handle having a job with such responsibility. It's not humour, it's bullying, and it's utterly irresponsible when your job involves safeguarding vulnerable individuals.

Yes, i agree. I didn't look at it as bullying before but that is exactly what I'd tell someone else.

OP posts:
FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 22:11

Pancakeflipper · 31/10/2025 22:02

I think others will know you are a reliable thorough worker, who takes your responsibilities seriously and Jim (as fun as he is) can behave like a right dick. Ot sounds like your manager has expected problems but hoped Jim would behave.

Hold your head up high and be proud you are putting H&S first.

And thank you for being that person who helps the students on the bus.

Thanks so much. I needed to hear these nice comments. My head is bursting. I think I need an early night

OP posts:
FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 22:10

Givenupshopping · 31/10/2025 22:00

Have you ever had a face to face with him where you've told him to grow the fuck up OP? He really does sounds like a silly teenager, who has a craving for attention.

Anyway, you've done EXACTLY the right thing, your boss would NOT have had him moved if they couldn't see how right you are about his behaviour. Also, people who make others laugh, do tend to appear popular, but I bet you the vast majority wouldn't want to work with him in the job you do. I agree that you should do what 'BeepBoopBop' advised, and say “I’m really not able to tell you why Jim was moved, but going forward I am looking forward to us providing a much more professional service”. That way you won't appear to be running him down which would doubtless put your next colleague on edge, and make for an uncomfortable relationship. Jim can put whatever spin on it he likes, but once you start working with someone who doesn't look at the job as one big joke, they will see that you are just being professional, and hopefully shut any further gossip down.

Now try and relax and have a nice weekend, you deserve it!

I haven't pulled him aside but I have snapped at him a few times because of his comments and behaviour. I told him a few weeks ago I'm not talking anymore and he didn't utter a word to me for the rest of the shift so I think he knew I was pissed off but it hasn't stopped him.

Yeah I think keeping quiet is thd best policy. I've worked with his colleagues before and there's never been any issues, some of them are his real friends so I'm sure they would question what Jim says to them.

OP posts:
Inertia · 31/10/2025 22:07

It really sounds as though Jim is not safe or intelligent enough to handle having a job with such responsibility. It's not humour, it's bullying, and it's utterly irresponsible when your job involves safeguarding vulnerable individuals.

Pancakeflipper · 31/10/2025 22:02

I think others will know you are a reliable thorough worker, who takes your responsibilities seriously and Jim (as fun as he is) can behave like a right dick. Ot sounds like your manager has expected problems but hoped Jim would behave.

Hold your head up high and be proud you are putting H&S first.

And thank you for being that person who helps the students on the bus.

Givenupshopping · 31/10/2025 22:00

Have you ever had a face to face with him where you've told him to grow the fuck up OP? He really does sounds like a silly teenager, who has a craving for attention.

Anyway, you've done EXACTLY the right thing, your boss would NOT have had him moved if they couldn't see how right you are about his behaviour. Also, people who make others laugh, do tend to appear popular, but I bet you the vast majority wouldn't want to work with him in the job you do. I agree that you should do what 'BeepBoopBop' advised, and say “I’m really not able to tell you why Jim was moved, but going forward I am looking forward to us providing a much more professional service”. That way you won't appear to be running him down which would doubtless put your next colleague on edge, and make for an uncomfortable relationship. Jim can put whatever spin on it he likes, but once you start working with someone who doesn't look at the job as one big joke, they will see that you are just being professional, and hopefully shut any further gossip down.

Now try and relax and have a nice weekend, you deserve it!

FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 21:51

BeepBoopBop · 31/10/2025 21:47

I would practice keeping schtum with non commital answers. The less you tell them, the more they will have to watch their step. “I’m really not able to tell you why Jim was moved, but going forward I am looking forward to us providing a much more professional service”.
Jim is a cunt by the way.

That sounds perfect but I know Jim will make me look like the c-unt.

OP posts:
FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 21:49

cromwell44 · 31/10/2025 21:46

I’d be really concerned if you are responsible for people’s safety and he’s behaving like that. You did the right thing but importantly he sounds like a liability.

I've to go in and see my boss on Monday. She will speak to his boss about it.

His boss has had a few issues with him recently too so he knows what he's like.

OP posts:
BeepBoopBop · 31/10/2025 21:47

I would practice keeping schtum with non commital answers. The less you tell them, the more they will have to watch their step. “I’m really not able to tell you why Jim was moved, but going forward I am looking forward to us providing a much more professional service”.
Jim is a cunt by the way.

FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 21:47

Shatteredallthetimelately · 31/10/2025 21:41

I'm sure you're not the only one that thinks Jim is a nice person, but equally know he's over the top and they probably think themselves fortunate that they're not out working with him.

It's also quite telling that his boss is more than happy to partner you with someone else without to much, if any questions asked.

Try and enjoy your weekend and go in on Monday with head held high knowing that you do your job well.

Thanks for this. I know i do my job but he makes me feel shit for it.

It's a school bus I work on and he's the driver. If there's an issue with the kids he needs to stop and I deal with the situation. Stopping seems to bother him for some reason. It's like I've made an unreasonable request.
Asking for the door to be kept shut until I get to the front of the bus because kids take off their seatbelt and potentially bolt. He's made jokes about that too although he did do ask i asked which lasted 1 week now he's going back to just opening the door and when I've said your opening the door again he's ignoring me and talking to parents. The parents do sense some tension.

OP posts:
cromwell44 · 31/10/2025 21:46

I’d be really concerned if you are responsible for people’s safety and he’s behaving like that. You did the right thing but importantly he sounds like a liability.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 31/10/2025 21:41

I'm sure you're not the only one that thinks Jim is a nice person, but equally know he's over the top and they probably think themselves fortunate that they're not out working with him.

It's also quite telling that his boss is more than happy to partner you with someone else without to much, if any questions asked.

Try and enjoy your weekend and go in on Monday with head held high knowing that you do your job well.

FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 21:40

cheeseomelette · 31/10/2025 21:30

Oh god. He sounds just like a guy who worked for us and we had to get rid. Same name too..

it was like his maturity stopped evolving aged 14. I felt like I was on a carry on set most of the time he was around. I don’t know where he ended up but I’m sorry you’ve got one too. Well done on tackling it.

I changed the name but definitely sounds like the same type of guy. Same, everything is a joke. He seems to think making me look stupid is also a joke. Like I said, I genuinely don't know if he realises what he's doing.

OP posts:
FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 21:37

cheeseomelette · 31/10/2025 21:30

Oh god. He sounds just like a guy who worked for us and we had to get rid. Same name too..

it was like his maturity stopped evolving aged 14. I felt like I was on a carry on set most of the time he was around. I don’t know where he ended up but I’m sorry you’ve got one too. Well done on tackling it.

Thanks! I know it's going to be awkward around all his colleagues too. I get on really well with them all but for a bunch of men they all gossip and talk about each other and I know Jim will putting his own spin on it. I'm the type of person that keeps my mouth shut. I could tell most of them what they've said about each other but I never have. I will say it's not nasty stuff, just really moaning about the unfairness of their workload whilst others have it easy (according to them)

OP posts:
FranklyMyDearIGiveADamn · 31/10/2025 21:36

BellissimoGecko · 31/10/2025 21:26

It might be helpful to plan what to say on Monday, so you don’t feel awkward.

You did the right thing.

Thanks! I know it's going to be awkward around all his colleagues too. I get on really well with them all but for a bunch of men they all gossip and talk about each other and I know Jim will putting his own spin on it. I'm the type of person that keeps my mouth shut. I could tell most of them what they've said about each other but I never have. I will say it's not nasty stuff, just really moaning about the unfairness of their workload whilst others have it easy (according to them)

OP posts:
PullTheBricksDown · 31/10/2025 21:34

He sounds awful. Quite right to get him moved. Good for you.

cheeseomelette · 31/10/2025 21:30

Oh god. He sounds just like a guy who worked for us and we had to get rid. Same name too..

it was like his maturity stopped evolving aged 14. I felt like I was on a carry on set most of the time he was around. I don’t know where he ended up but I’m sorry you’ve got one too. Well done on tackling it.