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AIBU?

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Original poster

"watch your lip"

119 replies

Dogmama991 · 31/10/2025 21:06

So context: I WFH all day, did 2 hours of dog walks, gym then went food shop - didn't stop all day. Partner was off work, slept til 11am, played video games all day with friends until 7.30 when dinner was about ready.

We sat down for dinner (grazing Infront of TV) and afterwards when I finished (he was still eating but a picky dinner). I picked up my.phone to text my sister back. He gave me a very obvious scowl (a well known look for me to get off my phone) and I said to him "I am texting my sister back quickly, I think that's fair and you've been chatting to friends all day". His response was to "watch my lip". I feel f*cking annoyed tbh. Like it's ok for him to do what he likes but I'm a child to be told off but maybe I am seeing it irrationally. AIBU?

OP posts:
SamphiretheTervosaur · 01/11/2025 12:39

Ye gods. I get this is only a snapshot of your life but I really hope you have the wherewithal to leave him to his self absorbed aggression

MissMoneyFairy · 01/11/2025 12:35

Dogmama991 · 01/11/2025 08:56

I am sitting thinking about how to approach it. If I bring it up as a discussion I know he is going to either laugh and say it was a joke (clearly it wasn't) or justify it and what not. So I don't really know what to say to him other than I'll be swiftly leaving if he ever speaks to me in that way again.

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Why wait until he speaks to you like that again, what does he bring to your life.

gamerchick · 01/11/2025 12:30

He threatened you. Why do you think you're being unreasonable?

ilovesooty · 01/11/2025 12:28

I think that last statement is fine. It doesn't need a discussion.

Original poster
Dogmama991 · 01/11/2025 08:56

KaleidoscopeSmile · 01/11/2025 08:41

We do all agree but now we all want to know what you're going to do about it.

Show quote history

I am sitting thinking about how to approach it. If I bring it up as a discussion I know he is going to either laugh and say it was a joke (clearly it wasn't) or justify it and what not. So I don't really know what to say to him other than I'll be swiftly leaving if he ever speaks to me in that way again.

OP posts:
Dontcallmescarface · 01/11/2025 08:55

Dogmama991 · 01/11/2025 08:29

Well I am glad everyone agrees that he is a complete twat. Now acting like nothing happened which I guess for him it hasn't as he expects he can just speak to me that way and carry on

So do something about it then, because sooner or later (my guess is sooner), "watch your lip" will be replaced by " it's not my fault you've got that black eye, you made me do it".

Tessasanderson · 01/11/2025 08:48

Simple answer. "Or what?"

He wouldnt be getting another word out of me until he gave a sincere answer to that. The rest is just noise. Situations arise, we piss each other off. Its life.

He needs to learn that the adult in him should never have said that, unless it was seriously in jest. I know me and my partner have said things similar whilst giving side eye and laughing. Thats entirely different to saying it in a controlling manner.

KaleidoscopeSmile · 01/11/2025 08:41

Dogmama991 · 01/11/2025 08:29

Well I am glad everyone agrees that he is a complete twat. Now acting like nothing happened which I guess for him it hasn't as he expects he can just speak to me that way and carry on

We do all agree but now we all want to know what you're going to do about it.

FeministThrowingAPrincessParty · 01/11/2025 08:41

It’s rude and controlling. And why did you do the food shop and both dog walks if he was off and you were working?

whatisthegoddamnholdup · 01/11/2025 08:38

Seriously, why are you with this useless lump?

TimeForTeaAndG · 01/11/2025 08:35

TalkToTheHand123 · 01/11/2025 04:50

You made him wait until 7.30 for dinner?

Is he incapable of making the dinner if he wants it earlier? Or doing some of the jobs OP did in order to facilitate an earlier dinner time?

Owly11 · 01/11/2025 08:34

'Watch your lip'?!! What are your thoughts as you read that back. It would be the very end of the relationship for me. My response would be "goodbye, have a nice life".

ForZanyAquaViewer · 01/11/2025 08:33

Dogmama991 · 31/10/2025 22:32

No he was off work to do a hobby thing that didn't happen . He then was just absorbed on video games and it was just assumed I'd sort the rest. He asked me what was happening with shops and dog which usually means he wants me to sort.

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He asked me what was happening with shops and dog which usually means he wants me to sort.

So what if it was what he wanted? He wasn’t working, you were. Why on earth would you be the one running errands and walking the dog, as well?

OP, woman up.

AgnesX · 01/11/2025 08:32

If my DH said that to me, we'd be having a serious conversation about respect, bags and the front door location.

Why are you putting up with it.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 01/11/2025 08:31

Dogmama991 · 01/11/2025 08:29

Well I am glad everyone agrees that he is a complete twat. Now acting like nothing happened which I guess for him it hasn't as he expects he can just speak to me that way and carry on

Are you going to do anything about it? As, if not, he’s right. He can just speak to me that way and carry on. And I’m sure this isn’t the first time.

Original poster
Dogmama991 · 01/11/2025 08:29

Well I am glad everyone agrees that he is a complete twat. Now acting like nothing happened which I guess for him it hasn't as he expects he can just speak to me that way and carry on

OP posts:
BoudiccaRuled · 01/11/2025 07:48

Sounds like an Eastenders scene from the 90s.

ItWasTheBabycham · 01/11/2025 07:39

Dogmama991 · 31/10/2025 21:14

I honestly don't know, that that's why I asked, he's always telling me to get off my phone when we are together despite the fact I'm on it much less than most!

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That’s coercive control OP. Make sure you get all the screen time you want by leaving him.

Kitjo · 01/11/2025 07:29

Do you like him? He definitely doesn’t like you!

‘Partner’ suggests something equal and in balance - I think you’ve used the wrong word here - ‘master’ or ‘controller’ might work better

Mrspatmoresapprentice · 01/11/2025 07:28

In my house, DH would have told me his hobby had been cancelled and asked what needed doing. We’d have split the jobs between us, not a chance he’d have sat on his arse all day. And if he told me to “watch my lip”? I would go batshit!
This man sounds like a lazy, entitled wanker. What is he bringing to the relationship?

Serpentstooth · 01/11/2025 07:23

The things some women put up with. What happens if you don't 'watch your lip? If you choose to use your phone when not approved of? If you say 'don't speak to me like that'? This is potentially very bad OP. Take him to the Exchange shop and get a better model or have a vacancy for a while. This is the beginning.

Pricelessadvice · 01/11/2025 07:14

What do you find attractive about a man child who plays computer games all day and leaves you to do everything else and then has the nerve to tell you to “watch your lip”??

I’m really sorry to sound a bit harsh here but it never fails to horrify me what some women will just put up with to be in a relationship. Where is your sense of self-respect? Do you really think his behaviour is ok?

HeyThereDelila · 01/11/2025 05:46

Sorry why are you with him? He doesn’t get to talk to you like that. And why is he allowed to video game and sleep all day while you work?

He’s horrible and taking the piss. Leave him now.

Rubes24 · 01/11/2025 04:59

'Watch your lip' sounds like a threat to me. The details surrounding it are actaully irrelevant. It sounds like he thinks he is in charge and that he can tell you off because he has authority over you. I would never accept this from my husband under any circumstances.

TalkToTheHand123 · 01/11/2025 04:50

You made him wait until 7.30 for dinner?